Rabid After a Bite From the Tiger Woods Groundhog

ground-hog-day and woods

The mainstream media and blogs cannot get enough of the controversy surrounding golfer Tiger Woods. Wherever one turns, whatever channel one watches, whatever newspaper’s website or blog one visits, there are Woods and his mistresses again. And I’m not just talking about the American media, it’s even all about Woods where I live, in the Netherlands.

It’s like Groundhog Day gone wild – without Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and the groundhog, but with playmates, porn stars, prostitutes and a world famous athlete. Meanwhile, here I am like Murray, so sick of the repetition that I’m wanting to drop a toaster into the tub with me.

I guess it’s pretty interesting to worry about what happens in somebody else’s life if you don’t have one of your own, but I can’t help but wonder what this obsession with Woods and his girlfriends says about the current state of Western culture.  We could be talking about ClimateGate or the war in Afghanistan, the unemployment rate of around 10% or ObamaCare, but no, we choose to talk, write and think about a man who has as much self-control as a hungry labrador puppy.

Believe it or not, New York Daily News even created a constantly updated and growing list (with photos!) of Woods’ girlfriends. The list is advertised – yes, advertised – as follows:

While the damage is done on Woods’ squeak-clean image, keeping track of the Tiger’s scorecard is no easy task, so click through to get the latest on the golfer’s sex scandal …

Oh my, how wonderful! Whenever another porn star or Playmate steps forwards, saying she slept with Woods, we’ll know about it in no time. Isn’t that awesome! Man, where would we be without these glorious editors (evidently, with too much time on their hands)?

Well, probably at a much better place. As far as I’m concerned, our obsession with ‘the stars’ serves no purpose whatsoever. It truly is completely and utterly useless.

Come to think of it, perhaps that’s not true. You see, it dumbs us down so tremendously, while demanding our attention nonetheless, that we allow our governments to get away with anything. Entire economies are driven into the ground, legislation based on questionable science is shoved done our throats, but hey, we don’t care, all we need are Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Tiger Woods and prostitutes! I guess that means our star-culture is useful for some: our elected officials who forsook their responsibilities at the very moment they took office.

Man, it’s hard to believe how angry I am. A minute ago or so I even noticed I had to wipe off the foam around my mouth. The result of being bitten by the Tiger Woods groundhog, I wonder?

In the end, WoodsGate may serve a useful purpose nonetheless. At the very least, it has woken me up to the fact that we’re poisoning our culture by spending way too much time on trivial matters, and too little time on things that actually matter. In a way, perhaps that’s also what Bill Murray had to discover in Groundhog Day. Sometimes, life and fiction are eerily similar, aren’t they?


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