Napolitano: The Ball’s in My Court Now

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It’s similarly pointless to treat all Americans as if they’re potential terrorists while trying to find and confiscate anything that could be used as a weapon. We can’t search all passengers for explosives because Muslims stick explosives up their anuses. (Talk about jobs Americans just won’t do.)

You have to search for the terrorists.

Fortunately, that’s the one advantage we have in this war. In a lucky stroke, all the terrorists are swarthy, foreign-born, Muslim males. (Think: “Guys Madonna would date.”)

This would give us a major leg up — if only the country weren’t insane.

Is there any question that we’d be looking for Swedes if the 9/11 terrorists, the shoe bomber, the diaper bomber and the printer cartridge bomber had all been Swedish? If the Irish Republican Army were bombing our planes, wouldn’t we be looking for people with Irish surnames and an Irish appearance?

Only because the terrorists are Muslims do we pretend not to notice who keeps trying to blow up our planes.

It would be harder to find Swedes or Irish boarding commercial airliners in the U.S. than Muslims. Swarthy foreigners stand out like a sore thumb in an airport. The American domestic flying population is remarkably homogenous. An airport is not a Sears department store.

Only about a third of all Americans flew even once in the last year, and only 7 percent took more than four round trips. The majority of airline passengers are middle-aged, middle-class, white businessmen with about a million frequent flier miles. I’d wager that more than 90 percent of domestic air travelers were born in the U.S.

If the government did nothing more than have a five-minute conversation with the one passenger per flight born outside the U.S., you’d need 90 percent fewer Transportation Security Administration agents and airlines would be far safer than they are now.

Instead, Napolitano just keeps ordering more invasive searches of all passengers, without exception — except members of Congress and government officials, who get VIP treatment, so they never know what she’s doing to the rest of us.

Two weeks ago, Napolitano ordered TSA agents to start groping women’s breasts and all passengers’ genitalia — children, nuns and rape victims, everyone except government officials and members of Congress. (Which is weird because Dennis Kucinich would like it.)

“Please have your genitalia out and ready to be fondled when you approach the security checkpoint.”

This is the punishment for refusing the nude body scan for passengers who don’t want to appear nude on live video or are worried about the skin cancer risk of the machines — risks acknowledged by the very Johns Hopkins study touted by the government.

It is becoming increasingly obvious that we need to keep the government as far away from airport security as possible, and not only because Janet Napolitano did her graduate work in North Korea.

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  • Elliott

    "Last year, a Muslim attempting to murder Prince Mohammed bin Nayef of Saudi Arabia blew himself up with a bomb stuck up his anus."

    So the guy in the States who, in the 1970's (?) coined the phrase "The S*%T is going to hit the fan" was 40 years in advance of reality.
    I'm impressed.
    I'll bet that this guy was also a woolly-headed LIberal leftie.

    • Herb

      The human body is tougher than most realize. Many a brave soldier has hurled himself upon an enemy grenade and smothered it with his body, dying as a hero to his comrades whom he saved. IIRC, the Saudi anal bomber only succeeded in creating a bloody mess in the room where the prince was, without inflicting any injuries. Hmmm….. if he wanted to use the shaped charge principle, the assassin would have had to turn his back to his intended victim, I guess….

      • stephencuz

        The little known fact is HIS BROTHER is the one that made the bomb. This is the mentality we are dealing with. Sending their brother to die with a bomb up his A**. Israel looks for the terrorist not the means of terror. What do we do when they start to surgically implant them? However, if we profile and narrow down further to behavior, as does Israel, we'll actually be safer than we are getting naked for the TSA.

      • logdon

        After the London Bombings, ringleader Siddique Khan's body was retrieved from the wreckage minus head and limbs but with torso fully intact. He/it was buried in Pakistan with a full Muslim funeral.

    • rocketspad

      how about no security at all?? p.s. dick and george started it all

  • Ret. Marine

    As usual Ann has hit the nail with the precision of a marksman. If only we had anyone smart working from the gubmint, we would not be in this predicament. Is it me or am I the only one who recognizes muslims as the perpetrators of these crimes against humanity? Why not profile, it this somehow against the rights of everyone who's not muslim, damn straight. We were warned last year from big sis that we are considered potential terrorist, remember. Somehow the very person who would rule over her state that could not find an illegal if they tried to do so is now any smarter than the average American and has a job with the title of National Security, yeah I feel safe now, how about you? Fly again, never, not on your life. Not until this entire regime is behind bars at the cross bar motel. They are governing against our laws, and who is calling them out for it, all in the name of National security. One of our founders commented on this very subject when he said, " those who would trade a little security for safety deserve neither". Fire this creep, she not worth the attention of a paid traitor of our liberties. Demand her resignation, now.

    • Fed_up_American

      Everyone is aware of the fact that 99.9% of the terrorists are muslim, except the muslim-lover in Chief, his PC minions, and Liberal Americans.

    • Garwoodv6

      I believe it is "Freedom", not "security"…

      "Those who would trade a little Freedom for safety deserve neither."
      Just wanted to get it right, that's all.

  • DogWithoutSlippers

    This little butterball should be rolled through the X-Ray machines a thousand times – we know her pals own the machines – of which she has to be handsomely reimbursed!

  • tanstaafl

    Why don't we adopt the methodology of the Israelis? They are very successful. Of course, they profile, so I guess St. Janet would not approve.

    • Fed_up_American

      Impeach St. Janet!!!

  • BS77

    Hard to believe we have reached the point where security means X raying and patting down three year olds, grandmas and grandpas, nuns and pregnant women from Iowa….when it is manifestly apparent that profiling would be 99.9% more effective than this everyone must be searched nonsense. Had strict profiling been in place…the diaper bomber would have NEVER been permitted on his flight to Detroit… for a one way ticket …..for a man without any winter clothes or luggage going to the frozen tundra of December Michigan, from YEMEN, no less. According to the prevailing idiocy of PC egalitarianism, this moron was no more suspect than an infant.

  • BS77

    Read Ann Coulter's column every week for wisdom and laughs. Brilliant satire and sarcasm. Read Brigitte Gabrielle's books. Read Melanie Phillip's Londonistan…..Ariana Fallaci. Better wake up and smell the coffee, folks.

  • Jim C.

    This is one issue where libs and cons agree. I have not spoken to a single person who doesn't find airport security over the top.

    There are common sense precautions, sure. But flying is a risk taken willingly anyway. This stuff is ridiculous. Coulter's line about "Sammy Cohn" was pretty good.


    I am a good citizen
    I do what I am told
    For it is my wish
    to fit into the mold

  • BS77

    It's the PC dictat….sanctuary cities, open borders, entitlements, generational welfare, idiotic security policies, what you should eat, what you should buy, green this and global warming that, carbon credits, PC cars to drive, PC non competitive no grades in schools, fear of hurting someone's feelings or their self esteem……hard to believe this is happening.

  • Bea

    This subject title should read, "Your ball's are in my hand"-Janet Napolitano

  • USMCSniper

    Gays are going through the security check with the high hard one on and refusing the scanner and demanding a full pat down, A cavity search would be a plus for them!

  • Chazwell

    I wonder if I can request a female agent to check my junk……..a good looking one…….with warm hands…

  • sflbib

    They say nothing is all bad … even a broken clock is right twice a day. øbama’s election got Napolitano OUT of the Arizona governorship and Jan Brewer IN.

  • sflbib

    How about a little defiant compliance? Don't bathe, nor use deodorant, nor change clothes for about a week before flying; then refuse the body scan, and opt for the pat-down.

  • ObamaYoMoma

    The reality is it doesn’t matter how much more intrusive we become or how many more hundreds of billions of dollars we throw away, we will still be pissing in the wind as long as we continue to allow Muhammadans to immigrate, and never mind the fact that everywhere Muhammadans have immigrated in mass, the majority of the Muhammadans have refused to assimilate and integrate and instead formed Muhammadan no-go zones ruled by Sharia as parallel societies in direct contravention to the laws of the states in which they reside. This absurd adherence to multiculturalism, even when it is very obvious that we are being infiltrated by a fifth column of Muhammadans that intends to subjugate and subsume us, is proof positive that the elites running our governments are completely unhinged.

    In any event, does anyone really believe that all of this brain damage would be necessary to protect the homeland from Islamic terrorist attacks if we didn’t allow Muhammadan’s in the West in the first place?

  • Jaladhi

    So I don't see Ann coming out with any concrete solution to the present problem. On the other hand, the word Muslim is a common denominator in all the terrorist attacks cited by Ann, foiled or successful, hence Muslims should be banned from flying on our planes. Problem solved!!!

  • Jim

    I's still awatin Massa. Where my Gubment cheese?

  • BUTSeriously

    But – Ahem! America calls the terror factories as her allies and national interests. I read the whole article because I figured Ann had gall. She didn't say it – instead relying on unfailing sexy sound bytes: one Osama – oops I mean Obama, fooled everyone with YES WE CAN bytes too – this Pres would say yes to Sharia too.

    So fasten your seat belts – the terror factories who caused 9/11 have an unending array of Bin Ladens in its warehouses – laughing atsAmerica contemplates which orifice to examine. America has not the balls to fill Gitmo with the terror regimes – BECAUSE!


  • USMCSniper

    This is the straw that might get a TSA agent knocked stone cold and me in jail if she ever did this to my wife:

    In Charlotte, N.C.,a flight attendant and cancer survivor (so she opted out of exposure to radiation) told a local television station that she was forced to show her prosthetic breast during a pat-down. Cathy Bossi, who works for U.S. Airways, said she received the pat-down after declining to do the full-body scan because of radiation concerns. The TSA screener "put her full hand on my breast and said, 'What is this?' " Bossi told the station. "And I said, 'It's my prosthesis because I've had breast cancer.' And she said, 'Well, you'll need to show me that.' " Bossi said she removed the prosthetic from her bra (in public). She did not take the name of the agent, she said, "because it was just so horrific of an experience, I couldn't believe someone had done this to me (in public). I'm a flight attendant. I was just trying to get to work."

  • Krimson

    Something really diabolical in me makes me want to fill a Depends right before going through the checkpoint screening.

  • Armando


  • joelsk44039

    Just returned a few weeks ago from a trip to Israel. On the way to the airport, our shuttle van was stopped at a checkpoint manned by gun-toting young men where we were given a lengthy look-over before being allowed to continue. The front of the departure area had a lobby at least 50 feet deep before we were actually in the airport building. We had to go through an interrogation by another young man who asked a number of typical questions, including, "Has anyone given you a gift or asked you to take something onto the plane?" and "Did you pack your own bags?" and "Have your bags been in your possession the whole time since they were packed?

  • joelsk44039

    Our checked bags were then labeled with a bar code and x-rayed. We then walked to the ticket counter and after another short interrogation by another young man, were issued boarding passes, which we had to present to an employee before being able to walk down a long ramp to the next security check. We then had our carry on luggage x-rayed and walked through a magnetometer. This was the final step to enter the "hot zone" high security area.

    Notice that we:

    1. Didn't remove our shoes.
    2. Didn't have to pack small bottles of liquids in plastic bags.
    3. Didn't have to submit to intrusive "pat downs."
    4. Didn't undergo a scan.

    And the whole process, exclusive of time standing in lines took maybe 30 minutes!! So why the F**K are we having the TSA put the flying public through this nonsense?

  • WilliamJamesWard

    A foot bath of pigs blood in the boarding area of airports
    and a guarantee of pigskin seats would end the problem
    of air flight terrorism…… Napolitano is useless

  • Fed_up_American

    I can hear muzzies all over the world laughing at these idiotic measures designed to harass law abiding Americans. I guess I'll have to wear a burka to avoid being molested/searched at the airport. It's time to PROFILE, Janet you, retarded woman! What are you so afraid of?!!!

  • Don Kosloff

    The only quibble I have with Anne in this particular column is that she appears to believe that the machines pose a risk of skin cancer. That is an imaginary risk that results from the use of the Linear No Threshold (LNT) theory of radiation risk. At low doses, th LNT theory is clearly wrong. The dose from the scanners is extremely small. Therefore, in reality, there is no risk. Those who are worried about this imaginary risk should be more worried about their flight, whereon they will receive a much higher natural radiation dose.

  • ebonystone

    OT, but related ina way. I recently took a vacation through the Midwest. Both Michigan and Wisconsin had recently enacted state-wide no-smoking laws, so that one could not smoke in one's hotel room; and Indiana had a new law requiring one to present a photo-i.d. to buy any alcoholic beverage at the store. The onward march of fascism continues.

  • CraigTX

    The gov wants to restrict citizens' movement. Isn't that obvious? The comment about a bailout/takeover of the airline industry may not be too far off the mark.

  • Fred Dawes

    I will tell you what will happen next, you will at some point be nude if you want to fly. and WilliamJamesWard good idea but that would stop the monkeys and that is not the point our monkeys want to keep the ideals of bin and boy's going its about jobs and control not muslins or terrorists its just about money and power over people and control of ideals and to make us all into a third world monkey state. See it for what it is.

  • Blair Costella

    Hello, I just noticed your RSS feed is not working properly, Thought I ought to let you know.