This popular post was first published here.
Woman in Canada meets man on Internet dating site– a self-described bachelor looking for a long term relationship. They fall in ‘love’, hit the sack and now she’s crying rape:
In the moment, the sex felt consensual — welcomed even. In retrospect though, Minki Basu believes she was violated, her consent allegedly negated by a deception so “morally reprehensible” that each instance of intercourse with Kaz Akbar “constitutes a separate sexual assault.
After five months into a relationship, Minki Basu found out that “Kam Ali” was really Kaz Akbar–a married man with children who had deceived her. She then went on a vengeance spree; according to court documents Basu went to sites where she openly exposed Akbar, in turn putting her at the receiving end of a civil suit by Akbar. Now she is countersuing on the grounds that he threatened to release a secret sex video. She’s also alleging rape. The case is dizzying to say the least but in the midst of this complicated war in court, the paramount debate is: What constitutes sexual assault?
According to one Toronto based Clinical Psychologist and University Lecturer:
“To me, this is almost an insult to those who have been sexually assaulted,” said Dr. Oren Amitay, adding that deception “happens all the time” in the mating game. “She was used, she was lied to — and so was about 90-something percent of the female population.”
Ms. Basu’s trauma is “quite different” and is more about a “feeling of ‘I was lied to. I was made a fool of.”