Some cynics feel young people today are petulant ingrates, reclining in cushy bubbles of ignorance inherited through their grandparent’s blood, sweat, and tears. But, luckily, Apple Computer’s new Che Guevara iPhone app is proof that we needn’t worry about that anymore.
Guevara would be gratified to see how many insight-challenged Americans impose his slimy mug all over the land of the free and the home of the brave – Barack Obama campaign offices, college student unions, fashion runways, to name a few. But this latest incarnation on such an icon of capitalist greed as the iPhone, is salt on the wounds of Humberto Fontova, whose family was devastated by Fidel Castro’s Marxist regime and its Guevara-led terrorist wing.
“I hear of this guy, and he’s got a cool name, Che Guevara!” says del Toro. “Groovy name, groovy man, groovy politics! So I came across a picture of Che, smiling, in fatigues, I thought, ‘Dammit, this guy is cool-looking!’”
Well, there you have it. In effect, Benicio del Toro, who fulfilled an obvious fantasy by starring as Che Guevara in the four-and-a-half-hour movie he also co-produced, revealed the inspiration (and daunting intellectual exertion) of millions of Che fans—and not only recent ones. “1968 actually began in 1967 with the murder of Che,” recounts Christopher Hitchens. “His death meant a lot to me, and countless like me, at the time. Che was a role model.”
As a celebrity-hipster fan of Che Guevara, del Toro has plenty of company paying these respects. Johnny Depp conspicuously wears a Che pendant from his neck and in a Vibe magazine interview proclaimed his “digging” of Che Guevara.
The New York Times titled its review of Soderbergh’s movie, “Saluting the Rebel Underneath the T-Shirt.” In fact, had del Toro, Depp or Hitchens been born earlier and in Cuba and attempted a rebel lifestyle, their “digging” of Castroite Cuba would have been of a more literal nature. Del Toro, Depp and Hitchens would have found themselves chained and digging ditches and mass graves in a prison camp system inspired by the man they “dig.” Had their digging in a Cuban forced-labor camp lagged, a “groovy” Communist guard might have shattered their teeth with a “groovy” Czech machine-gun butt, or perhaps slashed their buttocks with some “groovy” Soviet bayonets.
Anybody half-awake can see that the righteous Che god of the T-shirt is a hoax – and the folks at Apple are only too happy to feed the fantasy.
That’s why Apple boycotts Fox News and promotes Guevara propaganda. Leftists, like Apple CEO Steve Jobs, prefer to selectively ration revelation to the masses. For example, if Fontova or Fox News’ Glenn Beck freely and effectively publicize Guevara’s murderous deeds and racist rants, college kids might start drawing Hitler mustaches on Guevara instead of George Bush, and hospitals would be over-run with their apoplectic pony-tailed professors.
Who knows what could happen next. Teeny-boppers at the mall showing off Tiananmen Square Tank Man tank tops? Peter Fechter posters in college dorms? University sit-ins to protest socialist bias in the classroom? Gratitude? National pride?
That’s why Apple must do its part to keep them ignorant and indoctrinated.