Bart Centre runs Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, a Web site that promises “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World.” He’s also a militant atheist. For a one-time payment of $110, Centre guarantees that a “confirmed atheist” will adopt your pet if the Rapture occurs in the next decade and Fido is left behind.
An enlightened, kind-hearted atheist entrepreneur legally fleecing the fundie flock? Now that’s a narrative hook the media can’t resist. Just within the last week, BusinessWeek, Bloomberg.com, and AOL News ran features on Bart Centre’s business model.
But is post-Rapture pet care for real?
Nearly a dozen articles insist that Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is no joke. And Bart Centre claims to have more than 100 paying clients. I don’t buy it.
Granted I don’t believe in the Rapture, but why would any believer willingly pad the PayPal account of a man with such undisguised scorn for “religionists”?
Bart Centre isn’t simply a nonbeliever, he’s a virulently anti-theistic bigot who calls less militant nonbelievers “uncle tom atheists.” Centre recently posted a list of his preferred epithets for “carriers of the fundamentalist God Virus” on his blog:
Bible Banger, Bible Thumper, Holy Roller, Papist, Popeblower, Bead Mumbler, Mind Slave, Mindless Medieval Peasant, Dead Jew Worshipper, Death Cultist, and Kool-Aide-Sipping-Blood-Imbibing-Flesh-Devouring-Polytheist-Throwback.
The sidebar of his blog, The Atheist Camel, features an inflatable Jesus punching bag and a vulgar Jesus switch plate with the light switch strategically placed to suggest Jesus is sexually aroused by the children at his side.
Oddly enough, no reporter described Centre’s blog, and not one interviewed an Eternal Earth-Bound Pets client. So where are all these devout Christians willing to entrust their beloved pets to a man with utter disdain for their beliefs? Any chance they don’t exist?
Could it be that Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is actually just a clever publicity campaign for Centre’s real product, his self-published essay collection about, you guessed it, atheism? Here are some of the chapter titles in The Atheist Camel Chronicles, written under the pseudonym Dromedary Hump:
- Why Words are the Enemy of Christians
- Why Christians Lie
- Delusional Christians Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Vote
- Why Christians Aren’t “CHRISTians” At All
- Christianity the Cult of Death
The book seethes with contempt for “Right Wing fundamentalist” Christians and “Evangelical Christian Right fundies.”
But Bart Centre’s anti-theistic bigotry barely made it onto the radar of the writers who transcribed the narrative he fed them for The Associated Press, The Street, the Telegraph, Asylum, The Huffington Post, the Guardian, and Politics Daily. Chances are, they were too busy mocking religion and gushing about the “brilliance of the new atheist-run service” to care.