In what has to be the final nail in Arizona’s coffin, comedian Paul Rodriguez (to whom we all thrilled in Beverly Hills Chihuahua) has canceled his engagement at the the Wild Horse Pass Resort in Chandler, Arizona. Similar announcements are pending from others in the Latino entertainment community, raising the very real possibility that every Holiday Inn in the greater Phoenix area will soon run out of Ritchie Valens tribute acts.
Some body blows you just never recover from.
This is the latest salvo from Keith Olbermann (CUE SOUND OF CORK LEAVING POP GUN — I know Keith is fond of cheesy sound-effects) who, in a frenetic attempt to keep up with the other kids in the MSM, has led with the Arizona Immigration Law story for five straight days now. In the absence of a major incident (which he and his confreres are doing their level best to whip up) Keith is now down to comedians and disgruntled Chicago Cubs fans, which amounts to the same thing. Presumably, once he’s exhausted that vein, he’ll bring on someone who can channel Ricardo Montalbán.
Rodriguez, who to the best of my knowledge also refuses to play Sun City, expressed himself thus:
We, those of us, we are not for illegal immigration. Our protest is that this law is too broad. This law—would Montana pass this same thing, to restrict Canadians coming over? What is an illegal alien look like? Is the police going to have the power to stop someone for anything, for any particular reason?
I read it, paragraph “E,” it says that a law officer, without a warrant, can stop you, if he suspects you are in this country illegally.
First, as a Canadian immigrant I deeply resent Paul’s egregious smear of the fifteen border-recognition-challenged Canadians (we call them ice-backs) who were only looking for a better life in the Badlands. It is probable that if the US passes any law against Canadian visitors it will be to prohibit plus-sized Quebecois men from wearing those little thongs on Florida beaches, but I digress.
More substantively, while it is great that Rodriguez read the law, it would have been better if he had taken some time to comprehend it. The reason that there is a paragraph “E” is there are four paragraphs that precede it, including “B” that stipulates “lawful contact” (as others like Byron York have determined, is typically something like a traffic stop). “E” has nothing to do with stopping anyone, and is implicitly dependent on “B.” But don’t take my word for it, Paul, read the law again.
Having cleared up the legal issues Rodriguez moves on to some breathtakingly original perspectives on life in post-racial America.
We‘re not going to allow this to become second class citizens. Every time there‘s an economic pinch, Hispanics, Mexican-Americans to be more precise, we‘re the whipping boys. That ain‘t going to happen. We‘re more numerous than African-Americans. You‘ve got to remember, many of us have status in this country and we‘re going to speak up when we can.
And if that doesn’t work, no casino lounge is safe. Consider yourself warned.
Having decried the numerous human rights abuses doubtless already occurring in Arizona, Rodriguez appears to pine for the firm-but-fair policies of kinder, gentler regimes.
They‘re being attracted—look, if we can—if North Korea and South Korea can have an airtight border with nobody crossing over there, and I‘m not saying to those extremes, grenades and stuff like that, or bombs or landmines or anything like that, but if they can have an airtight border, we certainly have the technology to do that here. They won‘t do it simply because there are too many interests in Washington, D.C. that don‘t want the Democrats or the Republicans to get together.
I’m not sure grenades and bombs are such a bad idea, but, leave that aside for the moment. Rodriguez actually stumbles onto a good point here. The federal government should secure our borders and there are definitely forces in Washington working to prevent that. (Paul and I would probably disagree as to what those forces are but that’s a song for another set.) That said, in the absence of federal action what would he have Arizona do?
Perhaps while he’s sorting this out he could benefit from the observations that a younger Hispanic comedian offered a few years ago.
I feel that if you’re in America illegally, you’ve got two options: You fix your status and get legit, or leave. We should be more in favor of deportation than the non-Latinos, but my brothers don’t feel like that.
What part of illegal don’t they understand? Think about it: Both political parties are talking about reform, but that’s just what it is – talk. We’re a nation of immigrants, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things.