The Day of the Locust

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Such claims and accusations may seem to some observers rather over the top. Even those who are convinced that Israel is evil to the bone might boggle at the improbability of these theriomorphic hijinks. Can it be that the Israelis are truly responsible for so intricate and massive a bio-ops project? The time, energy, funding, expertise and resources required to co-opt the animal, marine and insectal kingdoms and direct their activities must give us pause.

However, there may be another explanation for these disruptive events. Might it not be that the Lord remains on the side of the Israelites? After all, did not the Lord in the time of the Egyptian captivity unleash a plague of locusts that, as the Book of Exodus tells us, “went up over all the land of Egypt…so that the land was darkened…and there remained not any green thing in the trees, or in the herbs of the field, through all the land of Egypt”? May not the Hebrew God be, once again, delegating His creatures—squirrels, sharks, pelicans, mosquitoes, rats, vultures, which are only the locusts du jour—to manifest His will and discomfit His people’s enemies?

It’s difficult to say. But since, on the one hand, even the Israelis cannot reasonably be expected to infiltrate the Creation with the prowess of King Solomon and, on the other hand, the accuracy of Arab and Iranian newspapers is accepted by many as beyond even a shred of suspicion or misgiving, how else account for such preternatural interventions carried out by these swarms of surrogate locusts?

And yet, it must be admitted, there is a serious problem with this attempt at construal, provoked by the Israelis themselves, who are resolutely anti-locust. Scientists at The Hebrew University of Jerusalem’s Interdisciplinary Center for Neural Computation have been working industriously to avert the scourge of such infestations. They have discovered that locusts are actuated by polarization vision which enables them to distinguish between land and sea; the application of this knowledge will lead to techniques of locustrian diversion, an inestimable boon not only to Israel but to the whole Middle East. Why, then, would the Israelis seek to frustrate the will of the Lord Himself? What are we to make of so obvious a contradiction?

Perhaps in the end we are left with the tentative hypothesis that the Arabs and Iranians are completely unhinged and that Israel has been unfairly libeled. I realize this is hard to believe, but every possibility must be taken into account.

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  • ze-ev ben jehudah

    The one whom I don't want to mention by name.The one who runs the universe!!
    Yes him I mean. He ordered me personally to put chips in every Jew on earth,
    just under the skin of the forehead,and when that is done all those who have'nt
    got one just you behave.I only have to point my finger at you and PUFFF a bit of
    dust is all that will remain. Just to warn you beforehand!! the job is allmost done.

    • gwawr

      you're an idiot.

  • sflbib

    And these are the same people we keep trying to negotiate a peace settlement with.

    • Bert

      Yes, these are indeed the very same people who are our 'peace partners' and one has to wonder if our Jewish leaders have also lost their minds.

      • sflbib

        And I suspect our side has lost sight of the goal and negotiates for the sake of negotiation.

  • Andres de Alamaya

    Well, obviously the shark killer off Egypt was Spielberg's mechanical shark from JAWS refitted with remote control to ruin Egypt's tourism. But seriously, out of these nutty accusations may come some effective developments. How about an underwater version of the drones? Shark sized subs able to navigate without refueling for months, that can deliver intelligence or fire mini-torpedoes or act as torpedoes themselves. Of course Israel could always train pigeons to poop on presidential palaces and mosques.

  • 080

    I notice that Sandy has not appeared in the latest Sponge Bob Squarepants episodes. She may have been recruited by CIA or other likely suspects. In case you didn't know Sandy is Sponge Bob's friend and is a squirrel and also lives in Bikini Bottom at the bottom of the sea.

  • Only Me

    Why not "accidentally" overturn a truck full of pigs in the "arab sectors" and watch the fun.
    Or even better; turn an army of pigs loose at the border. What's a muslim to do?

  • Amused

    …and such is the mentality of barbarians .Consider these things well , before you take your stand ….on the side of civilised men ….or uncivilised men

  • Amused

    …..vulture arrested as a zionist spy , squirrels detained as zionist spies , zionist trained rodents unleashed on Jerusalem arabs , zionist trained sharks to attack tourists in Egypt …..is it any wonder , that there is no peace between Israel and her deranged neighbors ? Defense and vigilance is all that will sustain Israel's existence ……pray for Israel .

  • kafir4life

    HAHAHAHA!!! Can you imagine what it's like to be that freaking stupid to first believe that a madman pedophile named mohamat is a prophet of God, and to revere him, and smack your head on the floor until you get a good allah bump going (how's yours coming crabnuts?)? If you're that ignorant, you probably *would* believe that them pesky joos are controlling animals to attack the ummah!!

    What a bunch of brain dead dolts!!

    allahu snackbar!

  • A. E. Gelman

    Obviously Islam has a deleterious effect on reason as well as on morals.

  • Alex Bensky

    The explanation that the poor bird was part of an Israeli research program studying migration patterns…"

    That's just what they want you to think. I understand that Sayetet 13 (Flotilla 13), the Israeli naval commandos, are in fact deeply upset that their shark project's cover has been blown.

    As to how to teach rats to distinguish between Jews and non-Jews, nothing is beyond the nefarious Zionist (excuse me, "zionist") reach.

  • A. E. Gelman

    Apparently Islam is deleterious to reason as well as morals.

  • A. E. Gelman

    Actually, they're right. It's all true. THEY SHOULD BE AFRAID, VERY AFRAID!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.rcvehicles.co.uk bet

    interesting blog post i just got in to remote control cars myself!