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Bad War: In a bad war, the tyrant is found to have rape and torture rooms in which his henchmen abuse his subjects.
Good War: In a good war, the tyrant is found to have photo albums of Condoleezza Rice.
Bad War: A bad war is fought against Al-Qaeda.
Good War: A good war is fought on the same side as Al-Qaeda.
Bad War: In a bad war we bomb an enemy country to break down its military forces, allowing us to take control of its cities and villages.
Good War: In a good war we bomb an enemy country to protect its civilians from being bombed by anyone who isn’t us.
Bad War: A bad war is when some Iraqis responded to the fall of Saddam by looting museums.
Good War: A good war is when the victorious Libyan rebels responded by massacring black Africans.
Bad War: A bad war is when the weapons of mass destruction aren’t found.
Good War: A good war is when the weapons of mass destruction were already turned over to the previous administration.
Bad War: A bad war is when the United States makes an effort to keep the people responsible for the actions of the previous regime out of power with a De-ba’athification program.
Good War: A good war is when the new Libyan government run by Khaddafi’s old Justice Minister promises Sharia law for everyone. Especially the womenfolk.
Bad War: A bad war is when Haliburton makes money.
Good War: A good war is when Haliburton makes money… but passes some of it on to Democrats.
Bad War: A bad war is when we overthrow a government and then oversee the transition.
Good War: A good war is when we overthrow a government and let Al-Qaeda handle the transition.
Bad War: A bad war is when the dictator is brought to trial by a tribunal that had been convened three years earlier and through a judicial process lasting over a year where the defendant is allowed to testify and has a multinational team of attorneys at his disposal, and is finally convicted and sentenced to death.
Good War: A good war is when the dictator’s convoy is attacked by American and French aircraft in yet another attempt to assassinate him, and then he’s captured, beaten and sodomized by a mob chanting “Allahu Akbar” until he is dead.
The good news is that we finally know what kind of war the left will support, and we can try to give them a war that fits their template. Now all we have to do is convince Al-Qaeda and France to declare war on Iran first.
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