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A Good Progressive War

Posted By Daniel Greenfield On November 1, 2011 @ 12:22 am In Daily Mailer,FrontPage | 49 Comments

Finally after ten years of bitter debates over when the United States is allowed to go to war, what a legitimate war is and how much intelligence, indignation and international approval is required before we go to war, the Obama administration has hand delivered the progressive definition of what a good liberal war is. If we can just analyze and break down the elements of what a good liberal war is, then we can be sure to have the support of the left in any future military campaign.

Bad War: A bad war is fought in response to an attack on the United States, the mass murder of American civilians, an attempted assassination of an American president and attacks on American aircraft.

Good War: A good war is fought on behalf of Islamic interests to the detriment of American interests.

Bad War: A bad war is initiated by the United States which gathers a coalition in support of its course of action.

Good War: A good war is initiated by France which eventually convinces the United States to go along because there’s an election coming up and it’s a chance for its failed leader to look tough.

Bad War: A bad war is a unilateral action fought by a coalition of 48 countries without United Nations approval.

Good War: A good war is a multilateral action fought by 16 countries under a fraudulent United Nations mandate that called for a cease fire and a no-fly zone, not the overthrow of a regime.

Bad War: A bad war is fought with bipartisan congressional support (at least until new elections approach).

Good War: A good war is fought while ignoring Congress and daring it to do anything to stop the invasion.

Bad War: A bad war is announced and explained to the American people in a presidential address before it happens.

Good War: A good war is announced and explained to the American people in a presidential address nine days after it has begun… that dares them to do anything to stop it.

Bad War: A bad war is fought with the support of 62 percent of the American people.

Good War: A good war is fought with the support of 26 percent of the American people.

Bad War: A bad war is fought against a murderous tyrant who failed to comply with UN disarmament resolutions.

Good War: A good war is fought against a less murderous tyrant who voluntarily disarmed and gave up his weapon stockpiles.

Bad War: A bad war is fought against a tyrant who was responsible for murdering close to a quarter of a million people in brutal campaigns of ethnic cleansing and with the use of chemical weapons.

Good War: A good war is fought against a tyrant who might have killed some civilians if we hadn’t intervened.

Bad War: “Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction are controlled by a murderous tyrant who has already used chemical weapons to kill thousands of people. This same tyrant has tried to dominate the Middle East, has invaded and brutally occupied a small neighbor, has struck other nations without warning and holds an unrelenting hostility toward the United States” (George Walker Bush, Oct 2002).

Good War: “In this particular country -– Libya  — at this particular moment, we were faced with the prospect of violence on a horrific scale…  A massacre would have driven thousands of additional refugees across Libya’s borders, putting enormous strains on the peaceful –- yet fragile -– transitions in Egypt and Tunisia” (Barack Hussein Obama, Mar 2011).

Bad War: In a bad war, the tyrant is found to have rape and torture rooms in which his henchmen abuse his subjects.

Good War: In a good war, the tyrant is found to have photo albums of Condoleezza Rice.

Bad War: A bad war is fought against Al-Qaeda.

Good War: A good war is fought on the same side as Al-Qaeda.

Bad War: In a bad war we bomb an enemy country to break down its military forces, allowing us to take control of its cities and villages.

Good War: In a good war we bomb an enemy country to protect its civilians from being bombed by anyone who isn’t us.

Bad War: A bad war is when some Iraqis responded to the fall of Saddam by looting museums.

Good War: A good war is when the victorious Libyan rebels responded by massacring black Africans.

Bad War: A bad war is when the weapons of mass destruction aren’t found.

Good War: A good war is when the weapons of mass destruction were already turned over to the previous administration.

Bad War: A bad war is when the United States makes an effort to keep the people responsible for the actions of the previous regime out of power with a De-ba’athification program.

Good War: A good war is when the new Libyan government run by Khaddafi’s old Justice Minister promises Sharia law for everyone. Especially the womenfolk.

Bad War: A bad war is when Haliburton makes money.

Good War: A good war is when Haliburton makes money… but passes some of it on to Democrats.

Bad War: A bad war is when we overthrow a government and then oversee the transition.

Good War: A good war is when we overthrow a government and let Al-Qaeda handle the transition.

Bad War: A bad war is when the dictator is brought to trial by a tribunal that had been convened three years earlier and through a judicial process lasting over a year where the defendant is allowed to testify and has a multinational team of attorneys at his disposal, and is finally convicted and sentenced to death.

Good War: A good war is when the dictator’s convoy is attacked by American and French aircraft in yet another attempt to assassinate him, and then he’s captured, beaten and sodomized by a mob chanting “Allahu Akbar” until he is dead.

The good news is that we finally know what kind of war the left will support, and we can try to give them a war that fits their template. Now all we have to do is convince Al-Qaeda and France to declare war on Iran first.

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