A Malaysian Journey from the Heart of Darkness


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For most Americans and those reading this, the nation of Malaysia–the country I call home–is likely nothing more but a mysterious, distant, small and relatively unimportant land. Some of you might be familiar with Malaysia’s carefully cultivated public image of being some sort of harmonious multicultural tropical paradise, which is recycled endlessly in 30-second-long television spots both here and overseas.

But for anyone who may be trying to come to grips with the grim reality that is Islam, Malaysia may be one of the most important places on the planet. That’s because anyone who still, despite all the evidence, feels that there really is a moderate, progressive, tolerant and peaceful Islam, need look no further than Malaysia. Once you do, you’ll be thoroughly disabused of this notion.

My own awakening to Islam is mostly a tale of ignorance and more than whiff of denial, punctuated by sudden, shattering and irreversible epiphanies. I say ‘shattering’ because the ideas that I embraced as I grew up–that Islam is just one religion of many, and doesn’t particularly pose a threat to anyone–does not withstand anything more than a cursory examination of the facts. And as the evidence piled up and my doubts grew, those old notions I had held previously, like a sheet of plate glass, came apart under the hammer blows of truth.

The first blow to my complacency was that dark day in Lower Manhattan nearly ten years ago. Like so many others reading this, I was horrified at the televised scenes of destruction and carnage in New York and Washington. How could any rational human feel otherwise? But as the days and months passed after September 11th, I starting hearing Malaysians say, over and over, that the US Government was lying about 9-11, that it was a ‘set up’ and a plot against Islam. And that the Jews were really behind it, of course. As I realized how sincere these Malaysians were in these outlandish ideas, I thought, “What makes so many people in this country prone to this nonsense?” At the time, the exact answers eluded me, but my budding doubts about Islam festered.

Another devastating blow came when Doctor Azahari Husin, a well educated Malaysian who had willingly and savagely butchered hundreds, maybe thousands of innocents, both Muslim and ‘infidel’ alike, became the most notorious terrorist in Southeast Asia. When he was buried in his hometown here in Malaysia in 2005. I read about it in the Malaysian newspapers. The local media did their best to humanize the man, and his funeral was like a hero’s sendoff, well attended by hundreds of Malays who screamed ‘Allahu akbar’ as his coffin was lowered into the ground. The Malaysian government said nothing about Azahari’s passing, not even a perfunctory condemnation of his wanton deeds. In addition, Azahari’s own family has, to this day, steadfastly refused to apologize for any of Azahari’s long list of crimes. I remembered thinking at the time, “What kind of government and what kind of family could refuse to condemn a mass murderer?’ My doubts grew apace.

It was about this time when I began my own private investigation into Islam, to go beyond apologetic Malaysian government textbooks and misleading press accounts. Finding nothing credible in the local, heavily censored bookshops, I searched online. Soon I discovered the carefully-researched work of Robert Spencer. His words online, and in his book The Politically Incorrect Guide to Islam reeked and shouted of the truth, a truth I had sensed for some time but which I had long failed to see its full dimensions.

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  • Chezwick_mac

    In a sane world, we would be encouraging apostasy from Islam in our political and academic discourse and funding de-programming efforts. But of course, it's not a sane world.

  • Gigi

    I am so sorry that you are forced to live this way. Please know that there are many people out in this world who wish only the best for you and remember you in prayer.

  • Lfox328

    Boy, this was like reading the writings of many Soviet-era dissidents.

    • kblink45

      Or Brave New World.

  • Tanstaafl

    Welcome, my brother, to the only true way a human being can live. Yours, in freedom: Tanstaafl

  • winoceros

    Would you please send your column to the willfully blind, greedy administrator of Huron College in Ontario?

    I admire your bravery. Do you have a factual source we can read regarding the conversion of the Malay people to Islam? Why are these amazing people Muslims in the first place?

    Thank you.

  • LindaRivera

    May G-D protect you and your family!

  • ObamaYoMoma

    Why is the US government which is obligated to protect and defend America and the lamestream media cooperating together to hide these harsh realities of Islam from Americans, at the same time that millions of Muslims, really stealth jihadists, are being allowed to immigrate and infiltrate our country?

    Why aren't they exposing to Americans that non-Muslim unbelievers living inside Muslim majority countries are violently oppressed and systematically persecuted when not outright slaughtered altogether? Why aren’t they pointing out that Muslim immigrants to non-Muslim countries without exception flat out refuse to assimilate and integrate and instead form Muslim enclaves that inevitably morph into Muslim no-go zones ruled by Sharia as parallel societies within societies and in direct contravention to the laws of the states in which they reside? Why are they hiding the fact that non-Muslim unbelievers living inside Muslim majority countries are forbidden from building new houses of worship and from openly practicing their religions, while Muslim immigrants living in the West are free to build thousands of mosques and madrassas and to openly practice Islam, even while the vast overwhelming majority of those Muslim immigrants flat out refuse to assimilate and integrate. Why are they maintaining the fallacy that Islam is a so-called Religion of Peace™ being hijacked by a tiny minority of extremists when the real reality of Islam is so obviously different? Why and how can we still trust our federal government and the lamestream media?

    Indeed, why do all potential and prospective candidates for president shy away and avoid this issue like the plague?

    • Jaladhi

      Good questions for all those Presidential candidates. However, you know that hell may freeze over but the West will never have courage to tell the truth about Islam/Muslims. West has to stop all Muslim immigration into their countries as Muslims will never ever assimilate – they only come here with the intention of taking over. To expect them to become human beings like us is asking for too much!!!

    • sure

      dear ObamaYoMoma,
      i think u should read 'A Speech By Don Feder To The Christian Coalition Symposium On Islam – “Muslims And The Judeo-Christian World, Where Do We Do From Here. February 15, 2003'. i do agree with don feder on this. i have a feeling u will too.

  • http://inthepacific.blogspot.com/ Regina

    I feel a deep sense of gratitude to hear your voice. I hear and see the changes taking place in America..and read about those who try to warn us, like Geert Wilders- facing an uncertain outcome?. Yet, I cannot fathom..it is beyond me why so many refuse to acknowledge this dark storm coming. I so appreciate this site here and will visit and lift you up in prayer as well. Thank you-

  • Guy

    The writer is not an ex muslim.

  • Jaladhi

    There is no "moderate" islam and there are no "moderate" Muslims. Period. But the clueless west has been touting Malaysia as an example of a " moderate " Islamic country. However, all the reports that have come out from Malaysia which show Malaysia has stooped so low as to steal even the dead bodies of Hindus, Christians, living in the country and declaring them as convert to Islam and thus stealing the bodies from their relatives and burying them as Muslims. Can any human stoop lower than this? Of course only Muslims can and do this! This says it all about the "moderate" Malaysian Muslim government. I think Malaysia is Saudi Arabia of the East and it is only a matter of time when they might even claim that Mo/allah was born in Malaysia and therefore a Malaysian!!! Ha, ha, ha, LOL…

    • johnnywoods

      Allahu Snackbar!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • KRASHKOWALSKI

    ISLAM IS NOT A RELIGION. IT IS A CULT OF PSYCHOPATHS. IT ADVOCATES & PRACTICES, MURDER, TERROR & DEATH ON A WORLDWIDE SCALE TO FURTHER ITS CAUSES. ALL NON ISLAMISTS ON THIS PLANET HAVE TO UNITE AGAINST ISLAM AND DESTROY IT.

  • http://senatormark4.org SenatorMark4

    Blah Blah Blah…once again! Islam this, islam that and there doesn't seem to be any approach other than to send it back to the arabian desert. I guess it might be possible once the Iranians get their nuke in two months. Things will definitely change up. On the other hand, the installed base around the world is still a problem.You fight ideology with ideology and the First Amendment is the tool for the free. Refuse to arm yourself with the First Amendment and you hasten your end. There is no reason we should be arming the muslim umma in Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, or Gaza when we can't get them to announce support for the first amendment. Hasta la vista, baby!

  • WeMustResist

    We really have a lot of work to do. See how long and hard it was for Anti-Jihadist to find out the truth, even though he was not born Muslim. And now its hard for him to live the truth in a land committed to lies and hate. Good luck to the poor man. But we have to spread the truth whenever we get the chance. There is no other way. If only we could educate a whole nation at once. We have to play the cards life deals us, and we have to fill our hearts with love and our minds with the truth if we want to make a better world.

  • puc

    This is somewhat reminiscent of the soviet dissident who while being transferred from one detention camp to another via the public transit system sees that he, the prisoner is free while the mass of the people around him are the real prisoners, cowed or brainwashed by a hateful ideology. This account of a journey out of darkness gives us reason for hope .While I believe that Islamic totalitarianism is of an order far more baleful and destructive than Russian Communism it too will collapse from within and I believe that process has begun. puc

  • John Zimmerman

    The author appears to be referring to the well-known Lena Joy case. She was a Malaysian Muslima who sought to leave Islam in order to marry her non Muslin boyfriend. The Malaysian Supreme Court ruled that she would have to get permission from a sharia court, which of course denied her permission to apostatize. As far as I have been able to ascertain, not one Muslim organization in the West criticized the decision.

  • marieone

    Three things everyone should know about Islam:
    1. The Quran must be taken literally; it is not full of symbolism or vague commands. It is a book written from Mohammed’s teachings. If two passages contradict each other, the later one is to be followed. The peaceful, tolerant passages were written earlier; they are abrogated by later more violent, less tolerant passages. Muslims are not permitted to pick and choose, alter, or ignore any part of its very clear and direct message, or they will burn in a fiery torment forever.

  • marieone

    2. Striving to implement sharia law is a religious duty for every Muslim. Many people don’t realize how politically oriented Islam is at it’s core. It’s less of a religion than it is an “ideology”. It includes a mandatory and highly specific legal and political plan for all people, everywhere, the plan is Sharia Law. There is no separation between the religious and the political in Islam.

  • marieone

    Islam and Sharia constitute a totalitarian means of ordering society at every level, including ritual worship transactions and contracts, morals and manners, beliefs and punishments. In the Quran, Allah makes it clear that man made governments, such as a democracy, and free speech, such as criticizing the Quran and Mohammed, are abominations and must be eliminated and punished by death. The modern expression ‘creeping sharia’ is used to describe the slow, deliberate and methodical advance of Islamic law in Non-Muslim countries.

  • marieone

    Official Sharia courts already operate in the UK, handling cases ranging from divorce and financial disputes to domestic violence. Attempts to introduce Sharia into the legal system in Germany, Sweden and other European countries are ongoing. Sharia already has a foot in our door in the matter of minor disputes like inheritance and domestic violence; it should concern you that Sharia commands that drinkers and gamblers be whipped, husbands be allowed to beat their wives, allows an injured plaintiff to exact revenge… literally an eye for an eye; commands that a thief must have a hand cut off, commands that homosexuals be executed, unmarried fornicators be whipped, adulterers must be stoned to death; orders death for Muslim and non Muslim critics of Mohammed, the Quran and sharia; orders apostates to be murdered.

  • marieone

    Sharia and the Quran demand that offensive, aggressive and unjust jihad be implemented in non Muslim countries. It is written in the Quran that Sharia is the law of Allah and other forms of government are a sin. It is the duty of every Muslim to keep striving until all governments have been converted to Sharia law or obliterated.

  • marieone

    3. Muslims are allowed to deceive non-Muslims if it helps Islam. For non-Muslims this principle called taqiyya is another surprising concept of Islam. While most religions speak highly of truthfulness, the Qur’an instructs Muslims to lie to non-Muslims about their beliefs and political ambitions to protect and spread Islam. There are many examples of today’s Islamic leaders saying one thing in English for the Western press and saying something entirely different to their own followers. Deceiving the enemy is always useful in war and Islam is at war with the non-Islamic world until the whole world follows sharia law.

  • marieone

    All non-Muslims living in non-Islamic states are therefore enemies. So deceiving westerners is totally acceptable – even- encouraged, if it can forward the goals of the spread of Islam.. As a recent example, the Islamic American relief agency were seemingly raising money for orphans, but in fact giving the money to terrorists. They deceived good hearted, Western infidels into giving money to organizations that were factitively killing Western infidels

  • marieone

    Do the research yourself. This is not an isolated case. Islam as a religion of peace, Muslim organization, world wide often declare that Islam is a religion of peace. But what does that really mean? It seems easy for a Muslim to quote a peaceful verse from the early parts of the Qur’an while, following the principle of taqiyya, neglecting to mention the fact that it has been officially abrogated by later more violent verses. According to the Qur’an the world will be at peace only when Islam and sharia law reign in every country, and never until then. That is why every Muslim can truthfully say that Islam is a religion of peace. If any of these points took you by surprise then there is surely much more you still don’t know. This subject will affect you in the near future. Take the chance to inform yourself now, before it does

  • http://slayerstime.net/news-kate-beckinsale/blog.html Selene

    certainly like your web-site but you have to take a look at the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality however I will certainly come again again.

  • http://southernrunner.blogspot.com loseyateefa

    Do not put any faith in the government agencies, especially those 2 or HOmeland Security. This book will explain why: Muslim Mafia; Inside the Secret Underworld That's Conspiring to Islamize America by DAvid Gaubatz and Paul Sperry. I think the Gov is in bed with Islam, our president included.
    You are ahead of most citizens because you are educating yourself. I'm trying to encourage everyone I know to do the same and toss political correctness.