Back to the Stone Age: Greens Unveil New “Body Heat” Home Heating Plan


Ten years ago or so North Korea recommended that its starving people begin eating things they find growing in the forest. EuroGreens have taken an example from the perfect Socialist dictatorship by harnessing the advanced stone age technology known as body heat.

What could be cozier than keeping friends and strangers warm? Or knowing that by walking briskly or mousing around the shops, you’re stoking a furnace to heat someone’s chilly kitchen?

How about the reciprocity of a whole society, everyone keeping each other warm?

Widening their vision to embrace neighborhoods, engineers from Jernhusen, the [Swedish] state-owned railroad station developer, are hoping to find a way to capture excess body heat on a scale large enough to warm homes and office buildings in a perpetual cycle of mutual generosity. Heat generated by people at home at night would be piped to office buildings first thing in the morning, and then heat shed in the offices during the day would flow to the residences in the late afternoon.

Finally Socialism is regressing all the way to the Stone Age, where it belongs.

And how about, in the spirit of perpetual generosity, we just make this work by forcing entire families to live together in the same room and crowding hundreds of employees together in a few thousand square of feet.

Just think of the energy savings and the cycle of generosity as the heat gets turned off and employees huddle together for warmth.

And when it’s time for them to go home at night on the light rail, the engineer can just hook them as batteries to allow the train to achieve a maximum speed of 2 kilometers per hour.

But it’s Swedish engineering. Right? It’s got to work. Well let’s see how Green Swedish heating systems are working in the UK.

Millions of pounds of public money have been spent installing a ‘green’ central heating system that residents claim doesn’t work properly – and that has made their heating bills four times higher than expected.

Annual running costs had been estimated at £500, but instead some housing association tenants have been saddled with bills of up to £2,000 a year – nearly twice the UK average.

Some families in ‘affordable homes’ said their electricity bills last winter were so high that they had to choose between heating and eating.

And it’s hard to generate body heat when you’re not eating. Perhaps the Swedish engineers could figure out a way to have the green heating system infect residents with some kind of virus to raise their temperatures in a cycle of generosity between human and parasite, much like the cycle of generosity between Europe and the left.

The so-called exhaust air system works by sucking heat from waste air leaving the house and pumping it back in to provide heating and hot water.

But if it does not raise the boiler water temperature enough, an electric immersion heater kicks in, sending bills rocketing.

Government grants were spent on the all-electric Swedish NIBE systems but experts say they are wrong for most British homes, which are not as well insulated as those in Sweden.

And they also steal Christmas.

They found that during a cold snap they were having to spend £10 a day. ‘With such a high electricity bill, we had to choose between eating or keeping the house warm,’ Ms Claussen said. ‘The children were fed, but I hardly ate at all. It was an awful Christmas.’

That’s not a bug, for environmentalists starving people is a feature.

One housing association in St Neots, Cambridgeshire, is considering legal action after claiming that it was ‘mis-sold’ the systems, which cost about £6,000 each.

Another in Runcorn, Cheshire, recently spent £145,000 ripping out 69 NIBE sets and replacing them with gas boilers.

What a shame. Now Gillian Anderson and Professor Richard Parncutt will have to come over and explode their heads. For the environment.

  • tanstaafl

    Heat Vampires.

  • Thomas Wells

    This heating system will work well in the tropics.

  • Rebecca

    "for environmentalists, starving people is a feature" They can market it as a cure for the obesity problem.

  • http://twitter.com/FreedomTorch @FreedomTorch

    So that's how you sell ice to Eskimos!! You just call it HEAT!! Brilliant!

  • CurmudgyOneJr

    Apparently there is no idea, no wacky scheme, so mind-curdlingly stupid that it won't excite some portion of the lunatic left, who have more money than brains.

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "Apparently there is no idea, no wacky scheme, so mind-curdlingly stupid that it won't excite some portion of the lunatic left, who have more money than brains."

      They love spending, not paying.

  • jakespoon

    Dopes.

  • Mary Sue

    To brain dead "intellectuals" this seems like the breakthrough of the century. "Heating houses with your own body heat, what a concept!"

    Swedish Fail Technology. What a SAAB story!

  • Not Ovenready

    Next, they'll be harnessing heat from flatulence…..

    • jakespoon

      Every house will have a frat boy installed to light farts controlled by a thermostat.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    "Finally Socialism is regressing all the way to the Stone Age, where it belongs."

    That might be good for us, if they learned anything true from this.

    I'm speechless about the idea. 0'Bama will probably fund it before he even makes a single budget concession.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Hey, some people might die giving their heat, but collectively we'll be better off with "free energy" AND population control measures.

    Awesome!

  • Free thinker

    It's bad enough there are fools who think up such schemes. What's worse is that there are fools who will follow them.

  • averagemelon

    Someone needs to get acquainted with the first big Stone Age idea: fire. Intelligence is measurable (but only as good as the most stupid in the room) however, stupidity is limitless.

  • Ella Stu

    I agree with Free thinker here. There are people who come up with weird ideas and others follow them without understanding.
    cosmétique suisse