Global Warming Ended in 1996

1996 was a good year. Al Gore was a Vice President dreaming of one day sitting in the big chair. Celine Dion topped the music charts and Global Warming came to an end.

The figures, which have triggered debate among climate scientists, reveal that from the beginning of 1997 until August 2012, there was no discernible rise in aggregate global temperatures. This means that the ‘plateau’ or ‘pause’ in global warming has now lasted for about the same time as the previous period when temperatures rose, 1980 to 1996. Before that, temperatures had been stable or declining for about 40 years.

Human-caused global warming is dead as a doornail. China’s industrialization since 1996 alone disproves the connection between production and rising temperatures.

But the good news is that we can start fondly looking back on Global Warming as one of those wacky 80s and 90s trends that just didn’t carry over to this century. Global Warming has become the relic of a quaint time of big hair and big dreams when children that picking up litter off the beach would save the planet from some unspecified evil and that the ozone layer was about to break open like some giant space-zit and cover the earth in radioactive mutants.

We know better now. It’s time for all the people making millions and billions from a dated 90s scam to come clean and cut out this nonsense.

Doesn’t Al Gore have enough money already?

  • tagalog

    I am willing to accept that there has been no discernible increase in the average atmospheric temperature of the troposphere since 1997, and therefore no "global warming" that will affect life on earth's surface. I don't buy the claims of the panicmongers that the atmosphere is warming to some disastrous level and will create massive destruction for the earth and life on it during the next century or the next thousand years, for that matter.

    I believe that we have recently passed the midpoint of an interglacial period and that we are heading for another ice age, to begin in approximately 5,000 to 10,000 years. So if anything over the long term the atmosphere is probably cooling.

    Despite my beliefs, I have been informed -convincingly- that the arctic ice is dissolving and is not being completely replaced by winter ice. Panicky people get all vaporous about halting the Gulf Stream and the loss of the Greenland ice plateau – that seems very unlikely to me. But overall I don't know what to think; the claim that the arctic ice is melting seems legitimate. How is it explained in the context of the claim that the average global temperature is not rising?

    • ebonystone

      Earlier today I read an article in some blog (sorry, can't remember which one) about how both the shrinking Arctic ice and the expanding Antarctic ice were due to global warming, and that both were bad things, foreshadowing imminent catastrophe.

  • guest

    Why do you think Greenland was named Greenland???!!! At some point it was warm there as well. But everything is cyclical. It will be green again and then later there'll be Arctic ice again. But we'll be dead.Hopefully people will be more sensible and honest then.

    • ebonystone

      It was called Greenland by its discoverers in an attempt to encourage settlers — kind of an early version of Florida real-estate scams.
      During the period of Viking settlement — late 10th c. to mid-13th c. — it was warmer than in earlier or later centuries, warm enough to support sheepraising, but never what we'd call a warm country. It remained mostly an ice-cap throughout that period.

      • tagalog

        It was warm enough in the Viking settlement period that Newfoundland had grapes and was called Vinland for the grape vines. In the same period they were growing grapes and making wine in Britain.

        That was during that Medieval Warm Period that is somehow mysteriously missing in the Mann Hockey Stick graph.

  • Andy Lewis

    Whadda crocka chickenchit bullchit.

  • Sean G

    We all accept that sometime in the not too distant past that most of North America was covered by ice. That ice melted back all the way to the poles, and before SUV's and the industrial revolution. Could it just be that the melting ice caps are just a continuation of the process that melted the rest of the ice over North America? I believe so, because I don't drink the Kool-Aid

    • tagalog

      Also, inland Canada and the northern part of what is now the USA was covered by a huge lake, Lake Agassiz, about the size of the Black Sea. Lake Agassiz was contained by an ice dike to its northeast. When the Ice Age ended, that dike melted and Lake Agassiz emptied into the Atlantic and its trillions of gallons of ice water brought the Gulf Stream to a halt. Keep in mind that Lake Agassiz must have emptied itself pretty quickly, within a year or two. The ice cap on Greenland melting from global warming might rival the effect of the draining of Lake Agassiz, but it wouldn''t be the kind of deluge that Lake Agassiz was and almost certainly wouldn't have the same effect on the Gulf Stream.

  • OddJob4U

    I am a civil engineer and around 1990 I was the lead designer for an important flood control project on the coast of Washington State. Global warming and sea level rise was a new hot topic at this time. The design team gave sea level rise due diligence and determined that it was likely a tempest in a teapot. The expected amount of sea level rise in the life of the project was trivial relative to land subsidence, soil consolidation, tectonic uplift, and free board for waves.