Islamophobic Cow Kills Devout Muslim During Religious Ritual

Every weekend the New York Times warns us about the rising peril of Islamophobia in between the fashion section and their special report on sewer architecture in Queens, and the Islamophobia menace has become so severe that it is spreading to the animal kingdom.

We don’t entirely know why a cow was so filled with hate that it chose to murder an innocent Muslim trying to slaughter it, rather than allow itself to be slaughtered by it. Like many Islamophobic human bigots it may have gotten the false idea that it had the right to defend itself from being killed in an Islamic religious ritual.

What we do know is that this hateful animal has set back relations between Bovines and Muslims by 400 years. Maybe 800 years. Worse it has encouraged a cycle of violence in which cows resist being killed by Muslims and create Muslim martyrs who begin blowing themselves up in fields and ranches. The only way for the violence to stop is for cows to begin showing more respect for Islam and submitting to the slaughter as a lesson to the rest of us.

A Gaza health official says a panicking cow killed a Palestinian man who was trying slaughter the beast during the Muslim celebration of Eid al-Adha (Feast of the Sacrifice).

Official Ashraf al-Kidra said Saturday that 150 other people were hospitalized in the Gaza Strip with knife wounds or other injuries caused by animals trying to break away.

150 is a sizable amount. We could be looking at a Bovine insurgency. Or perhaps like the Mossad trained shark, the cows were put up to it by the Jews.

This is not the first case of Islamophobic animal resistance. It began with the sheep.

An Egyptian sheep destined for sacrificial slaughter forestalled its owner’s plans by pushing him to his death from a three-story building in Alexandria, police said today.

They said Waheeb Hamoudah, 56, who worked in the police tax evasion department, had been feeding the sheep he had tethered on the rooftop when it butted him.

Neighbors found Hamoudah lying bleeding and concussed on the ground below, with several broken bones, on Monday. He died soon after reaching the hospital.

Hamoudah had been fattening the sheep for the past six weeks and planned to kill it for Eid al-Adha, the Muslim feast of sacrifice, in early March.

Clearly the sheep knew what was coming. There is even evidence that some Islamophobic sheep are learning to use guns.

An Egyptian Bedouin shepherd was shot in the chest and killed on Thursday when one of his flock jogged his loaded shotgun as he slept. The accident occurred in the northern coastal governorate of Marsa Matrouh. Other Bedouins found the body of 20-year-old Mokhtar Fadl and took it to the hospital. Police seized the gun, which was not licensed.

If even the sheep are rising up, what excuse does Europe have?

  • Margaret

    Tooooo funny!

  • bkopicz

    Both the sheep and cow had more sense than most liberals.

  • Bob Avakian

    The City of Chicago has just concluded their investigation into these matters and have announced that the cow was actually one of the Chic Fil A poster bovines specially trained to decrease peoples’ appetite for cows and increase chicken sales. This was cited as an additional reason to deny the chain a building and use permit in Chicago. New Jersey is though to be ready to follow suit.

    Although Muslims might do better with chickens: they are far less deadly.

  • aspacia

    Hilarious satire—I love it!

    • LGR

      But it isn't satire. Someone really died.

      • Mary Sue

        The fact that somebody really died isn't the point.

  • Alexander Gofen

    This is the best article that I have seen in the recent times!

  • Leonard Infidel

    All those animals were trained by world Zionists and their agents from Israel.
    American military also participated, but on a limited scale.
    As advisers.

    • Mary Sue

      I C what u did thar. ;)

  • LGR

    How sick are you Spencer? And how sick are your readers? This is funny to you? Maybe if it weren't true it would sound funny but HOW can you ignore the fact that someone died here! A person died and you are all laughing at this?

    What is the matter with you people? I just hope you don't call yourselves Christians, because if you do you are completely confused as to what it means. Don't go down with Spencer, just repent, apologize and move on. Leave him to his own devices. He's fooling all of you anyway. He is no scholar of Islam, he didn't even major in that at college. He did religious studies but NOT Islam. All he knows about Islam is false information. He knows nothing. He only wants to live well without actually working. Wide up! Stop supporting this idiot. Use your money for your children's college fund, God knows that by the time our kids are in college there will no longer be financial aid.

    If this were a relative of yours, would you be laughing? I don't think so…. may God have mercy on your miserable soul….

    • Goemon

      You don't need college to educate yourself. If Spencer "learned" Islam at a college then he wouldn't know a damn thing about it. Who is Spencer anyway?

    • Blott

      I do not understand how sick you people are. Killing an animal for eating is bad and killing animals cruelly is worst. It is time that the animals were giving it back. To the west the animals are giving it back in the form of obesity, and various other diseases. Good for the cow good for the goat and the sheep.

      Animals are people too.

  • LGR

    Whoops my bad. I see the author of this is one Robert Greenfield. Is that a pen name for Spencer, or are you a real person? In either case you do see to share a lot with Spencer. This is a very sick article… no class whatsoever. I suppose if I made a joke out of one of your family members being killed in action at war or something – you would laugh then, too? Or is that different? Death is death. It's NEVER something to joke about. Same goes for you, you need to apologize and pull this article. Then pray and ask for forgiveness….

    This is beyond belief…

    • Mary Sue

      actually, this is actually quite appropriate. Anyone that "attacks" a Muslim is accused of being an Islamophobe, and suddenly animals are attacking Muslims in droves, so obviously they're islamophobes, amirite?

      It's in the spirit of all those news stories you see that seem to lend sentience to Sport Utility Vehicles when they cause accidents, manned or unmanned.

      And guess what. Don't like the article? Stop reading it and go play Farmville to bleach your brain or something. People are not required to cater to your sensibilites when writing articles, ok?

    • cdnbn

      Oh, relax, LGR.
      This is classic dark humour, in the face of a darker reality.
      And if you would learn about Islam from sources other than CNN and Karen Armstrong,
      or Noam Chomsky,
      you too would see what a dark reality is forming in our world.

      Spencer and Greenfield are messengers,
      telling the truth that people need to hear.
      It is you, LGR, who needs to “wide up”.

  • RLV

    Nature's way of righting a wrong? maybe.
    Animals lashing out in defence of self? for sure!
    Hilarious as hell? most definately!

  • flier10

    WHAT? How come all the "concerned" animal rights activists over at PETA aren't protesting this barbaric slaughter of animals?
    Now THIS is one story that might actually cause me to become a vegetarian!
    Power to the cows!
    They're a heck of a lot smarter than liberals.