Obama for Sale

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Summer is traditionally a weak shopping season, but lately the bargains just keep on coming. First there was an offer to have dinner with Obama and now a chance to have him there in your family photo. You can bid on an opportunity to wish Obama a happy birthday in person with the present that he likes best… money.

The prices are reasonable, and there are so many ways to buy Obama. You can play the dinner lottery or ask your wedding guests to gift to Obama. The Barack Obama website accepts all payments, Visa, Discover, Master Card, foreign donations and stolen credit cards.

The opportunities are endless. Birthdays, wedding anniversaries, major disasters; everything is just another reminder to give till it hurts. All you have to do is click one of the many buttons beneath the color-tuned hues of Instagram photos of Obama smiling while the country slides deeper into poverty and debt.

There’s a reason that they call America, “The Land of Opportunity.” Sure it’s gotten a lot harder to come here and make a fortune with your own business, but buying time with the man at the top has just gotten a lot more affordable. You may not have the big wallet of a Warren Buffett or a George Soros and you won’t cash in to the tune of a few billion dollars like they did, but for 25 bucks you might end up briefly exchanging pleasantries with the man who is slowly sending you to the poorhouse.

The designers are working overtime digging up retro fonts that summon up the image of a more prosperous America. There are so many Obama portrait shirts that they will be filling up landfills for generations. More likely, they’ll be shipped over to the Third World, along with all the other surplus clothes that people donate once the trend has passed or they no longer fit, and, somewhere in an African village, children in the year 2021 will run around playing in “Obama 2012″ t-shirts and Islamic terrorists in the Sahara will execute rebellious women while wearing “Forward” shirts.

You can get a “This is Change” shirt that lists all the things that Obama has done on the back, but the text is too small to read on the website, so, like ObamaCare and Obama 2012, you will have to buy it to find out what’s in it and on it.

There’s a collar for cats that says, “I Meow for Michelle” and an 85-dollar Vera Wang tote bag with Obama inside a scrawled heart. There’s an Obama-themed dog collar, to express the relationship between the administration and its lapdogs, and a t-shirt with an all-red American flag that has a distinctly Soviet feel to it. There’s a 65-dollar polo shirt designed by rapper and Farrakhan supporter Russell Simmons; which is just a generic polo shirt with a small Obama logo.

A Joe Biden cup holder sits next to a knit Obama dog sweater, a silver Obama brooch, an Obama basketball jersey, an Obama University hoodie, which has a seal but no motto, along with beanies, keychains, more dog collars, water bottles, tumblers, lanyards, cuff links, duffel bags, tube socks and a dog bowl with the Obama logo inside for your dog to drink out of.

Obama isn’t just a politician; he is a Walmart of useless crap. A one-man Ralph Lauren, Abercrombie and Fitch and Ed Hardy with enough t-shirts, polo shirts and bandanas to outfit a small army of young men and women with more credit card limits than taste. And upstairs on the third floor of his cyberspace Target, you can find a plethora of 90-dollar reusable canvas bags from major designers that have become the stamp of consciously responsible consumption.

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  • truebearing

    Obama the capitalist. It reminds me of Castro telling the leftist faithful that they are going to have to allow capitalism in order to save the revolution.

    This uber pathetic merchandising that Obama is attempting is perfect for a malignant narcissist who can't imagine anyone turning down a chance to own a piece of his awesomeness. His entire campaign is based on the underlying assumption that America can't reject him, regardless of how much they are suffering under his horrible leadership. In his warped mind, he is himself, and nothing is more wonderful than him.

  • John_Kelly

    The greatest day in American history will be the day this TRAITOR is voted out of office.

    November can't come soon enough !!!!!

    • Alvaro

      Even George W. Bush was more popular in the Arab world than Obama [1], despite the bowing and groveling like a little servant to the king of Saudi-Arabia, for all his self-flagellation and third world mentality, hoping they will like him if he behaves like their lapdog.

      The problem is, they hate the display of weakness more than anything. He is the American dh|mmi [2].

      1. http://news.yahoo.com/u-even-more-unpopular-middl
      2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3KOZCM91c&fe

  • Schlomotion

    This is Mr. Greenfield's most scathing attack on Capitalism to date.

    • Western Spirit

      Very funny. You're a clown on top of always being wrong and pitiful.

  • Asher

    Obama goes to Aurora Colorado to show his sympathies to the Victims of the Joker shootings, while trying to destroy American and take away our 2nd amendment rights to defend ourselves….Some Patriot and Phony Eh!

    • Wayne

      Yeah. With all the murders in Chicago you'd think he'd pay them a visit but then Illinois is not a swing state. Phony is too kind word for this king of liars.

  • Tired of BS

    Find a large commode, get in it and pull the flush handle. Thanks!

  • Ronald Johnston

    He's still a muslim terrorist plant!!!!

    • Fred Dawes

      that rat obama is using us all and for a real evil Reason, its called mass murder by our own people here inside this country its a plan that is working.see Gun Control and mass political Arrests.

  • Fred Dawes

    All you need to know about muslims is all muslims hate the USA And our way of life over death, Jews do not hate this idea of freedom and God and Life. Understand one fact all people are the new Jews if the muslims win this war against life AND AGAINST A Just God. Obama is owned and is a setup guy for our enemies to use against us all and for evil black reasons.

    • Tired of BS

      It's thanks to bigots like you, whatever religion they claim to espouse, that hatred, wars and violence continue in the world. God can only weep because he gave us free will.

  • http://tarandfeathersusa.wordpress.com/ Iratus Vulgas

    I want in. The Obama Administration Board Game. Play the game at home with your friends. Hours of fun destroying the country. My mind reels with the possibilities. Better get back to my bunker and get to work on this immediately.