Obama for Sale

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You can buy Obama and wear Obama all over your body. You can read Obama at the beach, stick him on your toddler, your dog and your cat. You can cover your car, your house and your barn with his stickers. And, if you are truly lucky, you may even win a chance to spend 72 seconds in his presence before you are firmly ushered out to go back to your Obama 2012 car and drive back to your Obama 2012 yard sign where your dog is barking for food in his “Obama Best Friend” collar and then sit down to read through the Help Wanted ads in the paper while wearing an Obama Hope Lapel Pin.

The price of meat has risen sharply, going up by a dollar to a dollar fifty a pound since last summer, and beef consumption has fallen to an all-time low. But that’s okay, because you can still grill your burger in an Obama 2012 apron while using an Obama grill spatula to embed the Obama 2012 logo into the meat that your family eats. At 40 bucks, the grill spatula isn’t exactly cheap, but it’s a bargain compared to what another four years of Obama will cost you. And the burgers with Obama 2012 on them are a date stamped in time, reminding you that, if Obama wins in 2012, pretty soon you won’t be able to afford meat at all.

There’s an old joke about an honest politician being a man who stays bought. And while you can buy hundreds of dollars worth of ObamaCrap 2012, you don’t have the money it takes to buy Obama. That’s reserved for the bundlers and the billionaires, who get their payoff in the form of bailouts and stimulus packages. Al Gore gets a 500-million dollar loan to build cars in Finland, Solyndra executives get another 500-million for their 100 thou worth of donations and Warren Buffett gets billions in bailout profits. But you get to take home a 15-dollar dog collar with your master’s name on it.

Obama’s supporters can buy tickets to the inauguration, buy lottery tickets to win a dinner with Obama or a chance to feel Obama’s sweaty arm on their necks for 3.5 seconds in an Instagram photo. They can buy Obama merchandise, share Obama on social media and do all the other free promotional grunt work that fans are tasked with in the social media age, but all they are ever going to be are spectators.

No matter how many shirts reading, “We Are the Ones We Have Been Waiting For” get lugged around an impoverished country by tired UPS men in brown; there has never been a “We” here. Obama is an “I” guy and whatever “We” there is, is strictly limited to the kind of people who don’t buy t-shirts, but who buy energy companies and banks.

Obama is for sale, but like the 100-dollar reusable tote bags, you really can’t afford him. And unlike the bags, you won’t be able to afford him even if you skip a lot of meals this summer. The “Win a Dinner with Obama” and “Win a Family Photo with Obama” and “Win a Lock of Obama’s Hair” entries are meant to create the illusion that Obama is affordable. That you can buy access to him the way that you can buy his t-shirt.

While his website pitches branded bangles, running shorts, baby bibs, golf divots, blankets and a “Michelle 2012″ gold pin, the real action is happening where the big men and women are being pitched more tangible benefits of another four years from a guy who spent 5 billion dollars a day. An administration which in its first term compelled every American to buy health insurance as a penalty for breathing has a lot to offer its crony capitalist billionaires. And the benefits don’t have anything to do with “history”; only with “profitability.”

The best con artist makes you pay for the privilege of being robbed. He doesn’t just take your money, he convinces you to buy his t-shirt too.

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  • truebearing

    Obama the capitalist. It reminds me of Castro telling the leftist faithful that they are going to have to allow capitalism in order to save the revolution.

    This uber pathetic merchandising that Obama is attempting is perfect for a malignant narcissist who can't imagine anyone turning down a chance to own a piece of his awesomeness. His entire campaign is based on the underlying assumption that America can't reject him, regardless of how much they are suffering under his horrible leadership. In his warped mind, he is himself, and nothing is more wonderful than him.

  • John_Kelly

    The greatest day in American history will be the day this TRAITOR is voted out of office.

    November can't come soon enough !!!!!

    • Alvaro

      Even George W. Bush was more popular in the Arab world than Obama [1], despite the bowing and groveling like a little servant to the king of Saudi-Arabia, for all his self-flagellation and third world mentality, hoping they will like him if he behaves like their lapdog.

      The problem is, they hate the display of weakness more than anything. He is the American dh|mmi [2].

      1. http://news.yahoo.com/u-even-more-unpopular-middl
      2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3KOZCM91c&fe

  • Schlomotion

    This is Mr. Greenfield's most scathing attack on Capitalism to date.

    • Western Spirit

      Very funny. You're a clown on top of always being wrong and pitiful.

  • Asher

    Obama goes to Aurora Colorado to show his sympathies to the Victims of the Joker shootings, while trying to destroy American and take away our 2nd amendment rights to defend ourselves….Some Patriot and Phony Eh!

    • Wayne

      Yeah. With all the murders in Chicago you'd think he'd pay them a visit but then Illinois is not a swing state. Phony is too kind word for this king of liars.

  • Tired of BS

    Find a large commode, get in it and pull the flush handle. Thanks!

  • Ronald Johnston

    He's still a muslim terrorist plant!!!!

    • Fred Dawes

      that rat obama is using us all and for a real evil Reason, its called mass murder by our own people here inside this country its a plan that is working.see Gun Control and mass political Arrests.

  • Fred Dawes

    All you need to know about muslims is all muslims hate the USA And our way of life over death, Jews do not hate this idea of freedom and God and Life. Understand one fact all people are the new Jews if the muslims win this war against life AND AGAINST A Just God. Obama is owned and is a setup guy for our enemies to use against us all and for evil black reasons.

    • Tired of BS

      It's thanks to bigots like you, whatever religion they claim to espouse, that hatred, wars and violence continue in the world. God can only weep because he gave us free will.

  • http://tarandfeathersusa.wordpress.com/ Iratus Vulgas

    I want in. The Obama Administration Board Game. Play the game at home with your friends. Hours of fun destroying the country. My mind reels with the possibilities. Better get back to my bunker and get to work on this immediately.