Police Officers in School Don’t Work, That’s Why Obama’s School is Hiring One

Armed guards. Everyone knows they don’t work.

The pacifist DC school is looking to a hire a Special Police Officer to cover the midnight shift, which is a busy time in school schedules, with the ability to interview suspects and witnesses, and glare intimidatingly at “those darn kids.”

Sidwell Friends will hire the Special Police Officer based on his diversity, with regard to his race, religion, economics, gender, sexual orientation, and physical disability. So any poor  gay Eskimos in wheelchairs are especially encouraged to apply for the futile and irrational task of protecting a school… when we all know that school security does not work and it’s irrational to suggest that it does.

It’s unknown if Chris Christie’s Delbarton school utilizes armed guards. But the people who run things generally do not send their kids to public schools, for obvious reasons. They send them to secure facilities that screen the students that they do accept. And those same people are ridiculing the idea of making public schools secure by those same methods.

  • Mary Sue

    Sidwell Friends was started by the Quakers. While Quakers used to be awesome because of their opposition to Slavery, they are also stupid hippies now because of their unyielding and moronic "Good Is Dumb" pacifism.

    It's no surprise that Stupid Hippies (ie. Nobama–no public school for HIS kids while he's in office, oh hell no!) send their kids to this school. That way they can be properly brainwashed into leftarded ideals.

    While they could pretty much get the same results ideologically if they sent their kids to any given public school, they don't want to risk the kids being moronized by the halfassed jobs of any given Public School in the Maryland/DC/Virginia area. (Particularly DC!)

    • RedWhiteAndJew

      I've a friend who is a Quaker. He is also armed to the teeth and serves in the Army Reserves. He is by no means a pacifist. He chafes at the pronouncement of the American Friends Service Committee, who he says do not speak for him, or his family.

  • AlgerHiss

    This fetish of a "cop" in school is insidious. I don't want kids going to school thinking it the norm to have "cops" every ten feet of where they live their lives.

    The question needs to be: Why is it necessary to have someone with powers of arrest in a school?

    • RedWhiteAndJew

      Why is it necessary to have someone with powers of arrest in a school?

      It's not, but some people have a fetish about only those with arrest power going armed. Maybe it's the cuffs or the leather. I don't know.

      Just train the teachers who volunteer, and let them bring their guns to work. Easy peasy.

    • Claritas

      Ok, then – instead of cops in schools and lots of other public places, let's bring back the institutions that once housed (and sometimes even treated) crazy people, the ones Reagan and teams of do-gooders let loose on the population a few decades ago? We train and graduate hordes of psych majors every year; let's put them to work.

      • imoira

        You must be kidding! Most of the really crazy people I know are, or were, psych majors.

      • carrie

        The ACLU and democrats sued and wrote new laws so you cannot hold,medicate or institutionalize people .

        Many shooters have told counselors,teachers and psychiatrist they were going to kill people ,like the Aurora Joker, they did NOTHING.

    • carrie

      Ask Clinton :
      in 2000, on the one-year anniversary of the Columbine shooting (which occurred with an assault weapons ban in place), President Clinton requested $60 million in federal money to fund a fifth round of funding for a program called "COPS in School," a program that does exactly what the NRA is proposing and the media is currently in overdrive mocking.

    • carrie

      You'd rather they be shot ?

      Like that vicious bullying the nasty critters use to drive timid students into fighting or suicide ?
      Enjoy teachers who are drunks,drug addicts and molesters ? There are tens of thousands of them.
      Teachers at Columbine stood and laughed when Harris and Kliebold had catsup soaked tampons thrown at them.
      Like those students dealing drugs selling to your kids ?
      Going to school to beat up kids mean to your child like the ghetto folks ?
      That's your idea of the norm for your children ?

      A cop gives them someone to go to when they need help. That's more than most do anymore .

  • RedWhiteAndJew

    It’s unknown if Chris Christie’s Delbarton school utilizes armed guards.

    If they do, they don't carry hollow points in their sidearms. Such are illegal in NJ. That means students should be trained to not stand behind the bad guys when the guards show up. The bullet might go right through the bad guy instead of stay in him, where it belongs.

  • Thomas Wells

    Protection is too good for the common folk.

  • elixelx

    You have armed guards in banks and all they protect is MONEY!
    You have armed guards in malls (lots of kids there!) and all they protect is GOODS!
    You DON’T HAVE armed guards in schools because, after all, your kids are LESS PRECIOUS than MONEY and GOODS!
    What fools, twits, nincompoops, irrational madmen American lefties be!

  • Johnconrad

    They're willing to abort all those children. Why guard the live ones?