Russia Celebrates the 95th Anniversary of the KGB

Somewhere, deep underground, fireworks are being shot off in the faces of blindfolded prisoners. Somewhere muffled cheers are rising from behind iron bars. Somewhere a codes message of congratulations is passed through three routers, reflected off a mirror and sent deep into the frozen north from a government building in Washington D.C.

Yes boys and girls, it’s the Day of the KGB Agent, a special day every year to celebrate the founding of the KGB, under its various names, currently known as the FSB, and today is a very special KGB anniversary because it’s the 95th anniversary of the KGB.

For Putin, only the second KGB member to run the country, December 20th is an especially special day, and he marked it by holding a press conference blasting the United States.

“I am probably a bad Christian,” Putin said, referring to the Magntisky Act, “but when the United States slaps us in the face, I must answer.”

“Abu Ghraib is known to the whole world. In Guantanamo where they keep people for years without charging them and they walk in chains like in the Middle Ages. They carry out torture in the middle of the country. Can you imagine if we did that?”

“Today we celebrate not only the 95th anniversary of our control, but also a national holiday, a special day for those who have chosen a difficult way of serving the Fatherland “, said the head of FSB in the Nizhny Novgorod region, Valery Nazarov.

“On this day, exactly 95 years ago, the Council of People’s Commissars of the RSFSR was established All-Russian Extraordinary Commission for Combating Counter-Revolution and Sabotage, recognized in the young Soviet Republic to provide internal and external security. Years passed by the changing international situation and polity of the country, but the defense of the state has always been in the forefront,” said Alexander Kalashnikov, head of the FSB in the Komi Region.

Happy KGB day to one and all.

  • Arlie

    "Behind the mask of diplomatic and political cooperation and partnership with the United States and Europe, the current Russian leaders are following the strategy of their predecessors and working towards 'new world order'. When the right moment comes the mask will be dropped and the Russians with Chineese help will seek to impose their system on the West on their own terms"
    – Anatoliy Goletsyn, Memorandum to CIA: The importance of the Strategic Factor in Assessing Developments in Russia and Communist China, 1993

    "War to the hilt between Communism and Capitalism is inevitable. Today, of course we are not strong enough to attack. Our time will come in 20 or 30 years. To win, we shall need the element of surprise. The Bourgeoisie will have to be put to sleep, so we shall begin by launching the most spectacular peace movement on record. There will be electrifying overtures and unheard of concessions. The Capitalist countries, stupid and decadent, will rejoice to cooperate in their own destruction. They will leap at another chance to be friends, as soon as their guard is down, we will smash them with our clenched fist."
    – Dimitry Z. Manuilsky, Soviet Chairman of UN Security Council, 1949

    "The failure of US policymakers to comprehend the veiled agressiveness and hostility towards the US inherent in Sino-Soviet strategy and the belief that the political and economic reforms and the partial introduction of Capitalism in China have foreshadowed these countries' development into real democracies, have eroded the effectiveness of US policies in the Foreign Affairs, Defense, Intelligence and Counter-Intelligence fields. US policymakers have recklessly accepted the premise that Russia and China are no longer enemies, but are rather potential allies and partners fully deserving of US support. Only countries like Iran (pre 2003) Iraq and North Korea – which (ironically in this context) work secretly with Russia and China – are still considered potential adversaries."
    – KGB Defector – Anatoliy Golitsyn, The Perestroika Deception, 1995, p. 230

  • Omar

    We should celebrate the 70th anniversary of the CIA in 2017 by blasting Russia and denouncing that country's government's human rights record. We should also call for the return of the Czar, whose past family were victims of the Bolsheviks. Let's replace Putin with a pro-Western, anti-communist leader.

  • Ghostwriter

    I doubt too many Russians are going to be celebrating the 95th anniversary of the founding of the KGB. I'm certainly not going to be celebrating.

  • κατεργάζομαι

    The Bullwinkle Show (1961–1964)

    OBAMA did away with rent for his voters…OBAMA's CZARS' KARZ FOR KKKLUNKERS:

    Natasha: ~ Boris, how are we going to steal car from moose and squirrel?

    Boris: ~ Easy, we are going into the used car business.

    Natasha: On purpose?


    • κατεργάζομαι

      The Bullwinkle Show
      "Natasha Fatale: ~ "You are so bad, you're good!
      Boris Badenov: ~ "It's good to be bad!

  • objectivefactsmatter

    “Abu Ghraib is known to the whole world. In Guantanamo where they keep people for years without charging them and they walk in chains like in the Middle Ages. They carry out torture in the middle of the country. Can you imagine if we did that?”

    No way can I imagine Russia or any other communist or totalitarian hypocrites allowing the press to discuss any of their flaws without severe penalties up to and including death.

  • jimwayfast

    we wish Russia to become a giant again to check the Satan of the world America ans her allies.because of this devil the world is changed into a dungeon of fire.