Police in Staten Island are going whole hog hunting for the man who dropped some bacon on a football field that Muslims used for a Ramadan event. If the Baconer is caught, he will be prosecuted for committing a hate crime. Is bacon a hate crime? Well Muslims hate it and their Porkophobia seems good enough for the authorities.
An anonymous caller has phoned in to a Staten Island newspaper to say that the bacon wasn’t for the Muslims, but for the seagulls.
“I had put the bacon there. It was going bad in my trunk and I put it out for the scavengers like the opossums and the raccoons and sea gulls, and I did not intend for that to cause anybody any problems. It was not any anti-Muslim act, and I did not want to offend anybody in way. Thank you and have a good day.”
But now that bacon-sniffing dogs are on the case, the anonymous benefactor of seagulls and opossums shouldn’t expect to get off that easily. Sure he may have only intended to feed some seagulls, but he should have disposed of a Porkophobic product much more carefully in a place where no Muslim could ever encounter it.
On the other side of the ocean, the War on Pork goes on. Austrian police are hunting for whoever might have left some pig heads on the site of a future mosque linked to terrorists. While pig litter is ugly, it seems like publishing a prayer guide with lines like these, is ugly as well. “Thank the Almighty Allah, who put everything in moderation, and meted out the infidels out a painful punishment.”
Allah, like so many moderate Muslims, turns positively immoderate when it comes to infidels.
Which is uglier? Porkophobia or Infidelophobia? The Austrian police are going after the pig heads, not the prayer books. And on Staten Island, anyone caught feeding bacon to seagulls is to be suspected of Islamophobia.