Over the weekend, once-superstar comedian Jim Carrey announced he’d be releasing a new song, titled “Cold Dead Hand.” He also announced the gist of the song via Twitter: “‘Cold Dead Hand’ is abt u heartless motherf%ckers unwilling 2 bend 4 the safety of our kids.” Just in case you didn’t catch his point – that gunowners are morally deficient human beings – he stated in early February, anyone “who would run out to buy an assault rifle after the Newtown massacre has very little left in their body or soul worth protecting.”
So, what was Carrey’s new musical masterpiece? It was a rip on dead former movie star and NRA president Charlton Heston. Carrey played Heston as a moron, a crazy person. Then, posting as a character on Hee Haw, Carrey sang, “His immortal soul may lay forever in the sand, the angels wouldn’t take him up to heaven as he planned, cuz they couldn’t pry his gun from his cold, dead hand.” He then proceeded to make the oft-cited liberal idiot claim that gunowners want to own firearms because they have inferiority complexes about their penis sizes: “You’re a big big man with a little bitty gland, so you need something bigger with a hairpin trigger.”
But that wasn’t the end of the video. The chorus was straight from the minds of Barack Obama and Piers Morgan: “It takes a cold dead hand to decide to pull the trigger. It takes a cold dead heart and as near as I can figure, with your cold dead aim, you’re trying to prove your dick is bigger, but we know that your chariot may not be swinging low.”
And more: “Imagine if the Lord were here and he knew what you’d be thinking, would his sacred heart be sinking into the canyon of despair. And on the ones who sell the guns, he’d sic the vultures and coyotes, only the devil’s true devotees could profiteer from pain and fear.” Carrey then portrayed Heston trying to work a rifle in a simulation of masturbation.
Forget the bad taste. This sort of comedy is Carrey’s stock in trade; nobody could mix him up with Johnny Carson. The bigger problem here is the moral one: according to Carrey and his ilk on the left, failing to agree with the leftist view on guns makes you an inhuman monster.
That’s the perspective the left loves to push on virtually every issue. On sequestration, conservatives want to cut government in order to hurt children (or as Obama puts it, first responders, teachers, cops, firefighters, and the other members of the Village People). When it comes to voter ID, conservatives want to ensure against voter fraud because they want to disfranchise minorities.
But on guns, the left’s moral compass spins most wildly. Carrey, who hasn’t had to live in fear because he has the cash to pay for security, wouldn’t know the first thing about defending himself. That doesn’t stop him from deriding those who do worry about self-defense as losers suffering from sexual inferiority (even though it is Carrey, not his opponents, who is obsessing on penis size.) And Carrey certainly doesn’t believe in the possibility of government tyranny that undergirds the Second Amendment – as an ardent leftist, he’s a fan of bigger, broader government .
Carrey doesn’t mind using guns when it suits him. He’s borne firearms in movies like Bruce Almighty and The Mask, and he’ll do it again in Kick-Ass 2. The role of a lifetime that awaits him is that of a hypocrite.
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