Ahmadinejad, Latin American Leaders Claim Chavez Will Return From the Dead

One down.

The red-green alliance is apparently unsatisfied with just depicting Chavez eating stale bread from collective farms with Lenin, Marx and Che in a Socialist utopia in the clouds while a pair of red angels strums the Internationale.

Also Iran’s last best hope for peace with the world also appears to be backing the “Chavez was poisoned” theory. The obvious advantage of this theory is that transforms Chavez into a martyr to the depredations of the CIA, rather than a Socialist whose faith in Cuban Socialist medicine was not rewarded with a cure.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has backed claims initially made by Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro, that Chavez’s enemies somehow afflicted him with the cancer that killed him.

The long-time ally of the Venezuelan firebrand echoed Maduro’s bizarre conspiracy theory, claiming that Chavez had fallen “martyr” to what he described as a “suspect illness”.

“He finally died from a suspect illness and he gave his life… to the elevation of his country and the freedom of his people,” said Ahmadinejad. “Venezuela lost its brave, strong son and the world lost a wise and revolutionary leader”, he added.

Ahmadinejad also stated: “I have no doubt that he will return, along with the righteous Jesus and the perfect human”.

The “perfect human” is the Mahdi, whom Iran’s theocrats would like to bring back with a nuclear war. Ahmadinejad however may believe that he actually is the Mahdi, aka Perfect Human, despite photographic evidence to the contrary.

It’s unclear how Ahmadinejad reconciles the prophesied return of Hugo Chavez from the dead to help save the world, with this statement.

Now that the bitter and historical experience of Marxism has ended and now that the days of the inhuman Capitalism are numbered, humanity is seeking a new immortal path to attain happiness; a path which will lead to a human and just order at the service of all people and nations… the values, principles and the path adopted by the Islamic Revolution are the ones which will continue to meet all the intrinsic and perfection-seeking needs of man.

Chavez was rather a fan of Marxism, but both Chavez and Ahmadinejad could agree that capitalism’s days were numbered and that the best way to proceed was with a corrupt totalitarian state that rigs elections and murders its own people with snipers when they protest.

Meanwhile other leftist thugs in Latin America were also proclaiming Chavez’s immortality and foretold return from the dead.

Evo Morales, the leftist leader of Bolivia, declared: “Chávez is more alive than ever.”

I suppose he is, in the sense that he’s dead. Being dead makes Chavez more alive than ever considering how dead he was when he was alive.

The wife of Sandinista thug, Daniel Ortega, said Chavez was “one of the dead who never die”. I’m guessing though that she’s not going to want to be around his immortal corpse in three months.

  • Edward Cline

    You really must credit these cretins with warped imaginations resting comfortably in Marxist and Islamic FantasyLland theme parks. Their careenings through the Marxist/Islamic universe invites the suggestion that perhaps Chavez will make a cameo appearance in "The Walking Dead," and have his head lopped off and a bullet put into it just to make sure he never rises again.

    • Toni_Pereira

      "…Chavez will make a cameo appearance in "The Walking Dead," and have his head lopped off and a bullet put into it just to make sure he never rises again. "

      An episode that i wouldn't miss!

      • SCREW SOCIALISM

        Gotta be a SILVER bullet.

        • Mary Sue

          KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  • Edward Cline

    You really must credit these cretins with warped imaginations resting comfortably in Marxist and Islamic Fantasy Land theme parks. Their careenings through the Marxist/Islamic universe invites the suggestion that perhaps Chavez will make a cameo appearance in "The Walking Dead," and have his head lopped off and a bullet put into it just to make sure he never rises again.

  • Toni_Pereira

    The end of days is upon us.These islamo-marxists(!!!!) will be released from their prison and will rule the Earth for a 1000 years. In the end the celestial armies will wipe them out…

  • Toni_Pereira

    Seriously, the British philosopher John Gray has an excelent book about this subject: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/8269448/

  • USCPanther

    I can't help but wonder if they'll try the same stunt on Chavez like the Russians did with Vladimir Lenin…

    • Toni_Pereira

      I am surprised they didn't freezed him…

  • Rich Rostrom

    "a corrupt totalitarian state…"

    Venezuela under Chavez became a dictatorship, where the Maximum Leader and his henchmen ruled by decree, ignoring the laws and Constitution,

    But it was not "totalitarian". Political opposition parties operated openly, winning control of many state and local governments. and almost half of the National Assembly. The Chavez government owned most of the mass media, and silenced or intimidated much of the rest, but there was always an active opposition press and at least one television channel. There are still private businesses and independent labor unions.

    Chavez remained in power despite his horrendous record because of his personal charisma, and by using Venezuela's oil bonanza ($1 trillion or so in his years) to buy elections.

    In totalitarian states (such as Cuba), political oppositiion is illegal, all media are operated by the state, and all businesses and unions controlled by the state. Venezuela is not there yet..

  • Ghostwriter

    If the Iranians and Daniel Ortega want him back so badly,they can have him. I doubt many in Venezuela do.