Al Qaeda Terrorists at Gitmo Get 6 Hours of Art Classes a Week

Bob Ross.2

Truly Guantanamo Bay is America’s great shame. They killed 3,000 Americans and all we give them is six hours of art classes a week. I bet the French would spring for at least eight hours of classes. And they would do a better job of covering impressionism.

Meanwhile America’s oppressive war machine dedicated to killing brown people forces Neo-Baroque painters on them. Shame on us! Shame!

Thanks to a multimillion-dollar federal contract, Guantanamo Bay prisoners can enroll in seminars to learn all about basic landscaping and pruning, calligraphy and Microsoft PowerPoint while the U.S. figures out what to do with them.

Prisoners also can get in touch with their artistic sides.

“At a minimum, the art seminar shall include water color painting, charcoal sketching, Arabic calligraphy, acrylic painting and pastel painting,” contract records reviewed by The Washington Times state.

And what about Manga Primitivism or  Crayon pointillism? This is worse than Abu Ghraib. It’s worse than Nazi Germany.

As the fight plays out in Washington, detainees at Guantanamo can enroll in seminars lasting an hour to 90 minutes once or more every day. Class ratios are low, with no more than 20 prisoners allowed in a class.

In horticulture, detainees learn the “principles of horticulture 1& 2, basic landscape plants and landscape pruning practices,” records show.

A “life skills” seminar teaches prisoners, among other things, about computers and typing, including Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint at basic, intermediate and advanced levels.

I’m sure all this stuff will come in handy when they’re blowing up Christians in Syria.

A nutrition class instructs prisoners about the “principles of nutrition and scientific foundations of exercise and fitness,” records show.

Sure. You want fit terrorists who can kill more people, not fat flabby terrorists.

Detainees, who also can learn English, appear to get something akin to report cards, too, though it’s unclear whether they see their grades.

M for effort.

  • Veracious_one

    Where else in the world can a Muslim terrorist learn to make those nifty ‘Kill the Jews’ posters for free?

    • Edgar Davidson

      One other place: In israel of course

  • objectivefactsmatter

    It’s both Marxist and neo-colonialist at the same time. Doog boj.

    So we’re Marxist now, but still the bad ones.

  • Biff Henderson

    They could teach them to twist bonsai trees into cute little sayings of Mad Mo. They’d fly off the shelfs at you local Menard’s garden center in Dearbornistan. How many ACLU lawyers do you think would love to be the first on the block to have the tolerance bragging rights of having a former Gitmo detainee (That wouldn’t hurt a fly) as their gardener? I’d let them spread dog doo-doo amongst my rosebushes if the service came with a complimentary handheld mental detector. Trust yet verify.

  • Edward Przydzial

    is there a class on the cure for terrorism? lead poisoning via ventilation works really good for this problem… as the military. ;)