Anthony Weiner Threatens Comeback over Tea Party


If there’s anything that can make people hate the Tea Party, it’s being held responsible for another Anthony Weiner comeback.

But it’s not like Anthony has a choice.

It’s not the Tea Party’s fault that he has to make a comeback. It’s Huma’s. She’s not about to spend the rest of her life as a failed agent without an important politician to manipulate. And if Hillary goes down in flames in 2016, Anthony Weiner is her fallback position.

So she’s going to take away his computer, feed him all the saltpeter he can stomach and get him out there and running for Congress if it’s the last thing she does.

“What’s next? I’ll keep you posted on my plans,” Anthony Weiner writes. “But I hope we keep the band together. You have been an amazing resource and the network we have all become part of has helped lead the debate on national health care, the need for a smarter and more compassionate approach to the growing pockets of need in our nation, and we all have sought to make the argument that too often we progressives come to knife fights carrying library books.

“Although my Republican friends have to decide what to do with the tea party wackadoo wing of their party, it does not constitute a strategy to simply sit back and watch them immolate.

Our team has to be a font of ideas and debate. I tried to run my campaign on this theme and the response was amazing. (Who knows, maybe I have a third book of ideas in me!)”

What were Anthony Weiner’s first two books you might ask?

The first result on Amazon is a Carlos Danger t-shirt. The second result is Seduced By Anthony Weiner by Inez Martinez.

“I was bored, lonely, new to New York, my body and myself. I went to a bad state school, got mediocre grades, looked totally average, did nothing special. I’d had boyfriends before, anonymous guys with anonymous names and dim futures, but none of my friends ever tried to date them, not because they liked me but because they weren’t attractive – not even to me, and I have low standards.

“And then Anthony Weiner came into my life.”

Yes Virginia, there is an Anthony Weiner romance novel. How does this timeless romance for the ages begin?

“Weiner was different. He wasn’t afraid to charge in, make enemies and throw dirt across the aisle. I liked that in a man; and to be honest, I liked Weiner too with his delicate face and Mediterranean eyes. The more I read, the more my blue heart throbbed for him.

“I logged onto Facebook. I sent him a friend request.”

It’s like Romeo and Juliet; except it makes you want to throw up.

Other Amazon results for Anthony Weiner include the movie Red Dragon, featuring Hannibal Lecter, Weiner trading cards, the Ballad of Anthony Weiner and Drug Induced Movement Disorders by Stewart Factor, Anthony Lang and William Weiner.

At this rate, I don’t think we’re ever going to find out about his ideas.

  • Manaphy

    Oh no! I’m sooo scared! [sarcasm]

  • charles

    It might be worth sending Weiner money. Just enough seed money so that he runs in the primaries.

    Mr Weiner is a gift that keeps on giving.

  • Crassus

    Isn’t Weiner the older brother of Pajama Boy?

  • objectivefactsmatter

    “…we all have sought to make the argument that too often we progressives come to knife fights carrying library books.”

    We all saw what you were carrying, and it wasn’t any kind of book.

  • Veracious_one

    … not even to me, and I have low standards.
    not to worry a lot of other Weiner supporters have low standards…

  • Anamah

    Is it this one the buffoon of the MB?

  • Ide-Clair

    Weiner is lost without the protective bosom of government. He’s determined to get back in. The only way that’s going to happen is if Hillary wins in 2016 and she gives him a job for Huma’s sake.
    But since Hillary isn’t going to win, Weiner doesn’t stand a chance. What’s left – adult entertainment?

  • BS77

    I m surprised Mr. Weiner didnt look for a job on the next Jackass movie ….kinda his level …he might be very successful in a weird kind of situation comedy. The Anthony Weiner show….”Hot Dog in a Bun”…..right up there with the garbage shows like Maury Povich and Andy Springer…..

  • carltjohnson

    “progressives come to knife fights carrying library books.” ???…
    A few questions weiner, 1, are those books original works, untainted by progressive changes? 2, Did you actually read those books? (can you read?)
    and last but not least, if you did 1 and 2…did you integrate that knowledge or did you just skim the surface looking for what you wanted to find. If the latter is the case, you wasted that time and learned nothing.
    You see, Bunkie, that’s the difference between you and the tea party. The tea party are comprised of CONSCIOUS value producing and creating human beings. Humans that integrate knowledge and put it into action. It is they, that are the elite and why you are the great unwashed as evident by your own behavior.

  • filter

    Looking forward to the comic relief this condescending little pr*ck will provide.

  • Igor

    He may have a chance if he changes his last name and wife as well as undergo plastic operation. It is pitiful

  • garyfouse

    “Tea party wackadoo” No pun intended, right Anthony?