Attorney General Eric Holder Promises to Investigate Himself and Send Himself to Prison

Attorney General Eric Holder didn’t just kill 300 Mexicans, he also killed irony.

And to consider a series of new federal laws imposing tough penalties on gun traffickers who help funnel weapons to dangerous criminals.

I think that we all look forward to Holder catching himself and locking himself up. It shouldn’t be a very difficult investigation even for him. It’s only a question of how much time Holder will give himself to turn himself in. And hopefully he won’t tip himself off about his own raid on himself.

Or maybe he can designate his left hand as the “bad hand” that funneled weapons to dangerous criminals and his right hand as the “good hand” that locks up those who funnel weapons to dangerous criminals and they can fight it out to see if Good Holder or Evil Holder will win out.

Or he can just keep on blocking the release of Fast and Furious documents while promising to crack down on everyone funneling guns to dangerous criminals… who isn’t him.


  • Mary Sue

    Holder's such a hypocrite, but I don't see him getting his just desserts for his misdeeds anytime soon.

    • AnOrdinaryMan

      Well, he might lock himself out of his house, for starters.

  • AdinaK

    Yes, he will "investigate" himself –

    Adina Kutnicki, Israel

  • AnOrdinaryMan

    Isn't it just like a liberal, for Holder to get into a debate about what "he," "his," and "himself" mean?

  • kafir4life

    Eric and his boss Stinky (aka bo) were afraid that Agent Terry, who had information about their gun running operation (Stinks was making a nice commission), and was about to blow them in, so Stinks had him killed by his "customers", probably in exchange for coupons good for future purchases. The same with Amb. Stevens. Stinky's idiologicial equals took care of the ambassador as an islamic "thank you for all you do". Both Terry and Stevens had to die to protect the criminal enterprise in the White House and DOJ.

  • Arlie

    Friday, Rush on the radio was saying Holder was in court begging the Judge not to release documents. We can only rely on an upstanding Judge in this case since all documents that have been turned over are mostly all marked black.

    Speaking of black, tomorrow is a black day for America. Many Patriotic Americans are considering it a day of morning. Black cloth is going to be draped over windows and doors and many are going to turn off their TV's and radios and people are going to dress in black. In my yard will be a chair draped in black. No celebration here. Sack cloth and ashes are appropriate as America dies.

  • Edward Cline

    Eric Holder's performance is worthy of an old Saturday Night Live skit starring John Belushi as a president who vows to do penance for sodomizing a White House intern (gender optional), buying "stuff" with taxpayer money for his own personal use, going on junkets to Hawaii to play golf on first class courses, and paying foul-mouthed rappers to star in White House get-togethers, in the end agreeing to be whipped in public with wet noddles in the National Cathedral as his penance.

  • Buck Bradley

    Felony murder x 300+. Holder guilty without doubt, Obama almost certainly guilty ("we're working on that under the radar.") Try them, convict them (full and fair trial), then hang them by the necks until they are dead dead dead.

  • Carson

    This article is particularly childish. The DOJ never funneled any weapons to criminals. All they did was monitor purchasers that they suspected were straw buyers. The DOJ wanted to press charges against them, but they balked because the laws are so loose that it’s difficult to get a successful prosecution. Those suspected straw purchasers were making the purchases whether the DOJ was watching or not. DOJ never purchased or sold any weapons. What they did was akin to cops monitoring drivers with a speed gun and recording the speed but never arresting anyone.

    • Buck Bradley

      Completely false, but whatever makes you feel better Carson.

    • Claire

      Actually, “gun-walking” in this case (Operation Fast & Furious) involved ATF directing gun shops to allow straw purchasers to complete their sales, then letting them leave the stores and cross the border without surveillance. It’s obvious people in the White House knew. One individual with inside knowledge was even quickly sent out of the country so he wouldn’t be available for questioning. Since executive branch agencies do not have the power to deny access to congress, it took the president to issue an executive order to cover it up. It’s always good to know the facts of the case.