Boko Haram Joins Free Syrian Army in Descending into Cannibalism

free syrian army

Technically Khalid al Hamad, the Syrian Cannibal, is a Free Syrian Army commander, but those structural lines are loose, and since we couldn’t possibly be arming one of those bad cannibal people, he must be Al Nusra Front. Just ask Lindsey Graham, he’ll tell you so.

But now it appears that members of Boko Haram, widely reputed to be linked to Al Qaeda, despite frequent loud denials from Obama Inc, are joining them on the cannibal front lines.

Dozens of suspected Boko Haram militants in Magumeri forest, Borno state, north east Nigeria, have turned to human eaters after being stranded for days without food or water.

Magumeri forest is about 150 kilometres from Maiduguri, the state capital. The incredible story was related by Malam Momodu Bukar, who claimed to be part of the insurgency group.

He told newsmen on Saturday in Maiduguri that he fled the camp at the forest on Thursday when it became obvious that he was going to be eaten. “I thank God that I escaped because I would have been slaughtered by now to provide meal for my colleagues at the camp,” Bukar said.

That wouldn’t necessarily be a problem under Islam. In times of emergency, there’s a cannibal hierarchy. First you eat infidels, then Muslims who stop praying.

Clearly some of the Boko Haram Jihadists had not stayed current with their prayers and went into the pot.

  • Veracious_one

    Dozens of suspected Boko Haram militants in Magumeri forest, Borno
    state, north east Nigeria, have turned to human eaters after being
    stranded for days without food or water.

    Exchanging your peaceful life as a farmer or merchant to become a pious soldier of Allah does have its drawbacks…..

  • Gee

    And the problem is?

  • Naresh Krishnamoorti

    I wonder if Obama ever engages in cannibalism. I wouldn’t be surprised.

    • Anon

      What?? Why would he….??