First $1.5 Mil to Study Why Lesbians are Fat, Then $2.7 Mil to Study Why Lesbians Drink Too Much

Considering how much time Obama spends pushing gay rights, maybe he could just stop harassing lesbians and stop wasting money.

First, The National Institutes of Health (NIH) awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”

But apparently the NIH didn’t feel that that enough money had been spent studying the social habits of lesbians because there was a $2.7 million study to understand why lesbians drink too much.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”

The University of Illinois has received grants since 2009 for its project, “Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians,” which aims to develop “culturally sensitive” strategies to prevent lesbians from being drunks.

Are lesbians a culture now?  Apparently they are. All hail multiculturalism.

Are the “Don’t Drink or Your Liver Will Turn Black and You’ll Crash into a Lamppost” ads aimed at everyone else not “culturally sensitive” enough for lesbians?

Are lesbians not worried about livers turning black and crashing into lampposts? Do we need to spend 2.7 mil to find new ways of telling lesbians that crashing into lampposts is bad?

“However, very little is known about the factors that increase lesbians’ risk for hazardous drinking.”

“We propose to build on and extend our study of sexual identity and drinking… to model effects of cumulative stress on hazardous drinking among lesbians.”

I am not a researcher, but I am going to go out on a limb and speculate that drinking has the same effect on lesbians that it does on the rest of the human race. And that lesbian stress is indistinguishable from human stress.

Furthermore, the problem may be worse for “lesbians of color,” the researchers say.

Are “lesbians of color” also a culture? How many lesbian cultures are there? If every sexuality in every minority group is its own culture, we’ll soon have more cultures than people.

The grant states that there are “chronic stressors unique to sexual minorities, creating cumulative stress that may be compounded in lesbians of color.”

Like being studied by scientists.

The researchers are using a sample of 384 adult lesbians—50 percent of whom are a racial or ethnic minority—who were interviewed in 2000 and 2004, and a new panel of 250 lesbians. The grant states that the new panel was oversampled with Black and Latina lesbians, and young lesbians ages 18 to 25.

The study will try to determine whether childhood sexual abuse, “sexual- minority stressors,” and “racial/ethnic-minority stressors” predict hazardous drinking in lesbians, and which lesbians are at the highest risk.

The ones who participated in this story. Also the ones who had to read that sentence. After reading through that, I feel a compulsive need to drink and I’m not even a lesbian of color.

  • Ar'nun

    Perhaps they are Lesbians because they are fat and can't get a man?

    • Angel D

      My we're totally using our brain today aren't we? Lesbians are lesbians because they are fat and can't get a man eh? Well i'm a skinny lesbian and I've been able to get many men….i simply choose to not have sexual relationships with them and do so with women instead. Take your prejudice and your defensive male attitude elsewhere.

      • truebearing

        How is he being defensive? You are the one being defensive…not to mention offensive.

      • JacksonPearson

        Life on mother earth is very short and temporary. In the end, God's laws will always trump man's.

        "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination."
        –(Leviticus 18:22)

        "If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them."
        –(Leviticus 20:13)

        "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman's garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the LORD your God."
        –(Deuteronomy 22:5)

        • angela

          The Bible also says:

          "And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. 8 You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you. (Leviticus 11:7-8 ) – BUT YOU EAT PORK AND OTHER PIG PRODUCTS SO BASED ON THIS VERSE, YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

          "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27) – BUT YOU CUT YOUR HAIR ANYWAY SO YOU ARE GOING TO HELL

          "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also." (Genesis 38:9-10) – BUT YOU JERK OFF ANYWAY, SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

          "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19:28) – BUT YOU HAVE TATTOOS ANYWAY, SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

          "You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together." (Leviticus 19:19) – BUT YOU WEAR POLYESTER ANYWAY SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

          "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." (Mark 10:9) – BUT YOU DIVORCE ANYWAY SO YOU'RE GOING TO HELL

          "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:1) – YOU LOST YOUR TESTICLES DUE TO CANCER, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HELL ANYWAY.

          So forth and so on!!!

          “The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision.”

          Take that and shove it up your Westboro Baptist Church ass.

          • RebeccaJean

            All of these are from the law. The Jewish people were to be separate from the surrounding nations and the laws brought order and cohesion to their society and allowed them to survive as a group. Christians are not under the law but have been saved by the grace of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross.

            Prohibitions against homosexuality are found in the law, but it is also found in the New Testament. Also if one believes that God created the universe and all that is in it, than one can only surmise that homosexuality falls outside of what is normal and it would not be illogical to say it falls outside of what God intended when he created a man of free will.

            And your comments are more in line with what a member of Westboro would say.

          • Daniel Greenfield

            Homosexuals don't get tattoos or eat pork?

          • Daniel Greenfield

            "And the pig, though it has a divided hoof, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you. 8 You must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses; they are unclean for you. (Leviticus 11:7-8 ) –

            That's only for Jews.

            "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard." (Leviticus 19:27) – BUT YOU CUT YOUR HAIR ANYWAY SO YOU ARE GOING TO HELL

            See above. Also you can cut your hair. You just can't remove your sideburns.

            "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also." (Genesis 38:9-10) –

            Onan was preventing his brother from having a son who would be considered his. Not an issue for anyone who isn't marrying his brother's wife to continue his line.

            "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord." (Deuteronomy 23:1) – YOU LOST YOUR TESTICLES DUE TO CANCER, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HELL ANYWAY.

            The assembly of the Lord has nothing to do with going to hell. It means he can't be a priest. Also it doesn't apply to the case you mentioned.

          • JacksonPearson

            Aww poor baby Angela. So God's word struck a nerve.

            Tsk, tsk, not to worry for a while until judgment day. Then you can wade your panties up, pee all over yourself, while you think about pleading your case.

            "To him who believeth, no explanation is necessary;
            to him that believeth not, no explanation is possible."

      • Drakken

        Wellwould you look at that! I am a lesbian too, so we have something in common!

        • Harvey

          Wow we have a lot in common I must be a lesbian because I also am attracted to women……but I am a male

      • objectivefactsmatter

        "Lesbians are lesbians because they are fat and can't get a man eh?"

        No, just the fat ones.

        Don't be offended by the jokes. Most people love lesbians. We hate the culture wars and some times the jokes are hurtful. Sorry.

    • truebearing

      Fat and drunk.

      Those awful, terrible Lesbophobe men. Why can't they be attracted to fat, drunk lesbians just like they are to slim, pretty, sober women? So what if the lesbians hate them? Men should still find drunk, fat lesbians equally attractive. There should be a law that forces men to be attracted to these lesbians.

      • Drakken

        Well it is a proven fact that you can drinkem pretty, but you can't drinkem thin.

      • objectivefactsmatter

        "Those awful, terrible Lesbophobe men. Why can't they be attracted to fat, drunk lesbians just like they are to slim, pretty, sober women? So what if the lesbians hate them? Men should still find drunk, fat lesbians equally attractive. There should be a law that forces men to be attracted to these lesbians."

        If there was true "social justice" in the world they would. Perhaps we can link this to the counseling for how gay men can reject whites? We're going to need a lot more money for these "scientific" studies.

        A LOT more.

    • TimN

      Aaarrgghhhhh I thought fat drunk women were my best chance at getting laid. You're telling me that even that's out?

  • Ar'nun

    "$2.7 million to study why lesbians are at a higher “risk for hazardous drinking.”"

    Same reason why men in committed relationships drink, women.

    They should have given me the money.

    • Mary Sue

      I've heard lesbians utter "women are insane" without a SHRED of irony in their voice.

    • RebeccaJean

      "Same reason why men in committed relationships drink, women."

      I should be hurt and offended by that comment, but it was really funny.

  • Toni_Pereira

    I want a 30 million grant to investigate the proliferation of redundant studies…

    • Daniel Greenfield

      only if the proliferation affects marginalized cultural groups

      • Toni_Pereira

        Er…korean midget lesbians?Nazi-Zionist Marxists? It's hard to choose, give me a victim and i'll give you the study.

        • Daniel Greenfield

          Sounds like a cultural gold mine. Here's 4 billion in Chinese renminbi

          • Toni_Pereira

            Renminbis? I was hoping for all the tea in China.

          • Daniel Greenfield

            Bloomberg got that already.

          • gee59

            But no sugar added

  • Mike

    I think lesbians drink because they are thirsy. What a waste of money. How about giving me money to do a study on why some people don't drink?

    • Drakken

      Never trust a person without a vice, for they have more to hide than the rest of us that do enjoy a cocktail or three.

  • Mark Jacklich

    I'll bet that they're buying the drinks to establish a baseline control group for the study. Did you know cultures can be controlled with money?

  • Spikey1

    A: The lesbians have to be drunk in order to make their fat partners appear decent enough to sleep with.
    See term: Beer goggles
    Quote: "Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

    $2.7 million summed up with only 34 words – just under $79,000.00 per word.
    —I'll take that in cash please—

    • dickymo johnston

      Now if only we could get you elected as president we'd be on our way to a balanced budget…

  • truebearing

    maybe there should be a study that determines the hormonal effects of alcohol on women and whether it inclines women to become lesbians. It is well known that long term alcohol use wreaks havoc on human hormones, causing some men to develop secondary female characteristics and women to become more masculine.

    I suppose that if a study determined that alcohol use makes a woman more inclined to lesbianism, our federal government would serve hard liquor with school lunches.

    • Toni_Pereira

      For God sake,don't give them any ideas, please.

    • Drakken

      That is why I drink good bourbon.

  • Brujo Blanco

    Maybe they are fat because they do not eat.properly and.do not.get enough exercise. The whole idea of.the article is that the study is.a waste of money.

    • Mary Sue

      i am waiting for the researchers to find that lesbians are too fat because they cry and eat if they're called dyke all day long, and they're alcoholics because being called dyke all day long makes them cry in their beer, or their vodka.

      • objectivefactsmatter

        "…because being called dyke all day long makes them cry in their beer, or their vodka."

        Well all of these studies are looking for justification of the victim narratives of course. Even if they don't find anything plausible they just make a silly Hollywood film to make enough people cry over some iconic victim of whatever.

  • Brujo Blanco

    Perhaps the money would have been better spent on a scientific study of the sex life of African dung beetle.

    • Spikey1

      Let me check one of the more recent studies "the mating habits of worms" (true) to see if there was any money ear marked for dung beetles sex life studies in Africa……

      Nope sorry, you will have to apply for your own grant.

  • joe

    It's not nice of the government to call lesbians obese and falling down drunks.

    But i guess this study is a bargain compared to ;
    A $30 million mango-production program in Pakistan.
    A study to determine if cocaine makes Japanese quail engage in sexually risky behavior: $175,587
    Celebrity Chef Fruit Promotion Road Show in Indonesia: $100,000
    Seed money for the "drug-themed" Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakery in Austin: $484,000
    Funding for Pakistan to create "130 episodes of an indigenously produced Sesame Street": $10 million
    Funding for video game preservation at the International Center for the History of Electronic Games: $100,000
    The construction of an IHOP in the up-and-coming neighborhood of Columbia Heights : $800,000

    Energy efficient home improvement tax credits for children, prisoners, and other people who do not own homes: $1 billion

    • Mary Sue

      studying mango production in Pakistan is at least as fruity as the lesbian studies! :P

  • Arlie

    The study will prove that overeating makes them fat and over drinking makes them drunk and being lesbian are all mental disorders and having 2 or more mental disorders will ban them from owning guns.

  • Naresh Krishnamoorti

    The government is getting awfully close to funding a politically-incorrect study to find out why lesbians have higher rates of depression than the general population, which in this case, is the cause of overeating and drinking. Maybe the psychiatrists will go back to identifying homosexuality as a mental disorder.

  • Max

    I wish intelligent and well-read individuals who post their thoughts here would not shoot down others. Lesbian or non-lesbian… does it matter who people are? We are all children of God, and I do believe that He accepts us all.

    • Toni_Pereira

      Max, it isn't about the wrongness or righteousness of lesbianism. The point is how bad government and scientific careerism blow public funding away.

  • Max

    Naresh, your words are harsh. Put yourself in their place for a second. If you were under the societal pressure to get married to a man and have children, and all of your family was nagging you about this to no end, you, too, would become depressed and start to overeat and overdrink to drown your sorrows.

    • RebeccaJean

      Homosexuality is abnormal no matter how much we are being propagandized to think otherwise. And all of the changes that are occurring in society today to try to make gays "feel good about themselves" is not going to change that fact. The problems within that community will continue to exist because we cannot change biological reality. So gays need to stop looking without for acceptance and shift their focus to within themselves and their own community.

  • Rifleman

    $2.7 Million to interview, or have your grad students interview 384 people a few times? Don't students do that sort of thing for grades? What a racket.

    No doubt they'll recommend a multibillion dollar program to make lesbians feel better about themselves. No doubt the prof will collect a plush consulting fee from the administrators of said program as an 'expert' on the subject.

  • Crossbow87

    I would argue obesity and alcoholism are symptoms, just as the lesbianism is. All three are pathologies.

  • bleme

    Lesbians are less likely to know God and thus don't know true peace and joy, which only He can give. They try to fill the hole in their lives with food and alcohol. Somehow, I doubt the University of Illinois is willing to give me the $4.2M for solving their conundrum though.

  • Deb

    I suppose if the research is not done, whether there are answers unique to lesbians won't be known.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    “We propose to build on and extend our study of sexual identity and drinking… to model effects of cumulative stress on hazardous drinking among lesbians.”

    Don't mock the perfectionists. You conservatives just don't know how much science we need to make the world perfect. We're going to need a LOT more money than that.

  • Chris

    My grandpa said their overweight because of too much protein

  • Paul

    Very True.