Government Spent $402,721 to Develop Underwear that Can Detect Cigarette Smoke

smoking underwear

An E-1 enlisted United States Marine initially earns  $16,548 a year. Obama fired 20,000 marines to “save money.” But meanwhile he was spending the equivalent of 25 E-1 salaries to develop underwear that can detect cigarette smoking.

That is the bizarre Bloombergian government we are burdened with. If you’re a Marine who served his country, hit the bricks. But if you come up with underwear that can detect cigarette smoke, here’s a wheelbarrow full of money from Obama Inc.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded more than $400,000 to a research project involving underwear that can detect when a person smokes cigarettes.

The University of Alabama has received two grants totaling $402,721 for the project, which so far has produced a “very early prototype” of the monitoring system, which — in its current state — fits like a vest.

The goal of the three-year study is to “develop a wearable sensor system comprised of a breathing sensor integrated into conventional underwear.”

Who exactly needs under underwear that detects cigarette smoke, except for a crazy person?

“The modern methods of monitoring smoking, primarily you rely on self-report,” said Dr. Edward Sazonov, an associate professor at the University of Alabama who is leading the project. “There are few devices which actually allow a more computerized health report,” he told

“We are trying to eliminate the need for self-report from people about how much they smoke, when they smoke, how many puffs they take from the cigarette,” he said.

Sure, why go to the trouble of keeping track of when you smoke, when you can just wear a giant bulky vest under your clothes that will detect it for you?

It’s easy and convenient and a bargain at only the price of a Porsche Carrera GT.

The project began in March 2010, with the University receiving $187,368 from the National Institute on Drug Abuse.  That grant was followed by an additional $215,353 in 2011, though the project will not end until August of this year.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse has gone rather far afield from the “drug abuse” part of its name. It has a workgroup on AIDS and another one on genetics and a nicotine group.

It’s not clear what, if anything, the Institute has ever accomplished, but despite that its budget for the next year is set at $1,071,612,000. That is a whole lot of money and a sharp increase in its budget.  But magic tobacco underwear has to come from somewhere.

  • jakespoon

    Absolutely insane. Next,they'll give a $500,000.00 grant to find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie-pop. Three. Now,pay up.

    • GypsyTyger

      They might have to keep spending on that one.The world may never know. :)

  • objectivefactsmatter

    "Sure, why go to the trouble of keeping track of when you smoke, when you can just wear a giant bulky vest under your clothes that will detect it for you?"

    Telemetry and control. Big Brother needs this kind of technology.

  • MattHewn

    Cigarette smoking is injurious to health and and it is our own responsibility that we do not indulge in such activities.
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