Here’s Your $40,000 EPA Chief Waterfall Portrait


The Environmental Protection Agency, as everyone knows, is the only thing keeping a rapacious mankind from chopping down all the trees, polluting all the rivers and coughing up carbon all over the sky.

To commemorate its commitment to fighting for the waterfalls, the stinkbugs and the nitrogen, the EPA commissioned this $40,000 portrait of insane outgoing EPA Chief Lisa Jackson, who spent much of her term breaking the law and conducting business as Richard Windsor using a secret email account.

This portrait of Lisa Jackson captures much of what the EPA does. It puts large wooden doors around waterfalls, so no one can get at them and pollute them, and then stands in front of them letting the pure energy of the falls soak into their bodies to energize them with its natural goodness.

Or, possibly, Lisa Jackson was actually the embodiment of a nature spirit, who, when she was forced to quit after a fake email scandal, became transformed into a waterfall, and is now flowing somewhere in Virginia.

Either that or she has a major bladder control problem.

  • Michael Copeland

    "You, too, can have organic redwood doors like mine".

    • ron


  • objectivefactsmatter


  • figment

    did she paint it herself and pocket the money?

    Oh wait, probably richard windsor painted it.

  • Rifleman

    Who did they hire to do the portrait, the paint by numbers people? They could have saved a lot of money and ended up with a better painting if they'd hired a high school art student.

  • Edward Cline

    I've seen better artistry done by kids on an IHOP kiddie place mat.

  • reese

    What a waste of my hard-earned money. I'm sick to death of this bloated liberal "progressive" wasteful, corrupt bunch of power-hungry bureaucrats. Fire them and replace 40% of the positions with people who love America and respect the Constitution. But first fire the Obama Administration and deport them to Cuba or Pakistan.