Imam Says Muslims Must Grow Beards to Avoid Gay Feelings

Khalid Yassin’s fabulous beard is the only thing standing between him and raging homosexuality

This video features the fun-loving Imam Khalid Yassin who claims that the US government created AIDS and has said that “The Koran gives a clear position regarding homosexuality lesbianism and bestiality. … They are aberrations punishable by death.”

But according to Yassin, Mohammed’s companions apparently suffered from some very strong gay urges. (Via Halal Porkshop.)

The beard is a natural sign of manliness and it is a natural sign of distinguishing men from women.

And among the companions of the Prophet, they used to not even look at a man who shaved his beard for fear they may have desire for him.

So apparently Mohammed’s companions only had sexual feelings for men without beards, but not for any men with beards. I’m not going to use the word pedophilia, but it sounds like any of their “dancing boys” could stop being raped as soon as they were old enough to grow beards or the messed up chin whiskers thing that Yassin has going on.

Muslims growing beards as soon as they were old enough to were putting on “Don’t Rape Me, Prophet” signs.

Khalin Yassin, the former McDonalds Mosque Imam, appears put out by the laughter at this point.

“Allah cursed the women that looked like men and the men that looked like women,” Yassin tells his laughing audience who are probably less confused about their sexuality than Mohammed’s companions were.

Anyone raising inquiries about Khalid Yassin’s sexuality and whether he feels desires when looking at beardless men is probably an infidel.

  • @EsserAgaroth

    I'm wondering what those in the "Bear" community have to say about this theory.

    • Softly Bob

      Yes, that would be interesting, but I also wondered if a Freddie Mercury style mustache would be a suitable alternative for those Muslim men who don't like itchy chins.

    • Mary Sue

      yeah any islamist with a beard is going to get big surprise if a "bear" sees him ;)

  • Questions

    Science and Islam — two concepts that don't really mesh.

  • Tracy

    This is hilarious if it were not true, to get up in front of anyone and have this spilling from their lips is absolutely and totally insane.Do real people actually follow these people and the crap that comes out of their mouths?HELP!

    • Ar'nun

      Yes, they follow these people just like people followed Marshall Applewhite, David Koresh or Jim Jones. Islam is the largest Cult in history.

  • jf0423

    "the messed up chin whiskers thing that Yassin has going on" LMAO!!!

  • Matt

    So what can we say about Arafat. He had a beard and he was known to be gay.
    I can't wait for the next idiotic thing that these wannabe imams come up with next.

  • Softly Bob

    By sound track alone:
    He sounds a little bit like Samuel L. Jackson quoting his biblical verse in Pulp Fiction.
    By visual alone:
    He looks like a complete and utter loser. A Black man with a red beard……..

    • Daniel Greenfield

      Dyed red beards are an Islamic thing. Mohammed supposedly had one.

      • defcon 4

        Has there been any historical research done on the Jewish tribes that used to inhabit Saudi Arabia (I think it was Yathrib and Medina that were their cities back then)? Were they living there before the Roman diaspora? Or as a result of the Roman diaspora?

        • John Stone

          I do not know about Saudi Arabia and I doubt there is any historic record aside from Islam as a source, but in general there was a Jewish diaspora before the Romans scattered them. Also the Phoenicians were very closely related to the Hebrews, and they were a trading people with colonies all over. There is some evidence that Jerusalem was settled or occupied by Phoenicians.

      • Softly Bob

        Yes, I know – he used Henna. He didn't want to dye his hair black as he claimed that is what the Jews did!
        It's still ridiculous though that a Black man would use henna on his beard just because the Prophet did and its things like this that really reveal the institutionalized idiocy of Islam.

  • Spikey1

    So, when you cover up all the beauty that is women, men will seek out the beauty that is man.

    Probable – for repressed islamic peoples.

    • defcon 4

      No, no, no, no. It's little boys for sex and women for procreation. Just ask any Aghani, Iranian or Pakistaini man who practices Bacha Bazi.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    "And among the companions of the Prophet, they used to not even look at a man who shaved his beard for fear they may have desire for him."

    Funny because we just had this conversation. And people thought I was joking.

  • John Stone

    I wonder why it is that these people become so obsessed with sex. The Catholic church did the same thing in the Middle Ages.

    • Mary Sue

      speaking of the catholic church, I just heard a story that some Imam was being charged with serial pedophilia. The potential for a parallel (to the pedo priest scandal) "pedo Imam" scandal is HUGE!

      • Spiker

        So, if you are not supposed to have sex with a woman until you marry one and you are having sex of one way or another (oral, anal being penetrated or penetrating) you are supposed to just have sex with kids, but don't think about sex with other adult men. And if you are "beardless" are you supposed to enjoy being used this way? ….or despise it? And this is compounded by seeing women as objects of procreation. Where does love fit into this picture?

  • RichardJB

    But what about us gay men who have beards and/or who are attracted to men with facial hair? I think this imam is a bit of an idiot.

    • Mary Sue

      oh no that actually sounds like common sense! The imams will never even think of that!

      Seriously though, their backwards thinking is shaven men look like woman. Probably because they've never seen a real woman cuz they're all behind burkas of doom…

  • g_jochnowitz

    Homosexuality is a capital offense in Iran, Saudi Arabia, North Sudan, Yemen, and Mauritania.
    Gay-rights activists, needless to say, hate Israel.

  • Kevin

    Wow.. I've always had a beard, and i love men.. Masculinity and beards are what turned me on to guys.. Help, what do I do? LOL

  • Guest

    Slate says the Taliban are super gay.

    Personally I could care less, but this Imam looks like he would fit right in.

    • 1stworlder

      But see the documentary "dancing boys of afganistan" to understand that sex with boys not old enough to grow beards is OK in islam but not between consenting adults.

  • RUI

    Someone's trying too hard to stay in the closet.
    I once heard that closet homosexuals were the biggest homophobes out there. I dunno. I mean, what music does the guy like? If he says Cher or Barbara Streisand, I rest my case!

  • Aurora

    I guess that leaves out of the loop someone like my friend Itzchak, who has never shaved ever since his first facial hair appeared, and who calls himself a flaming fa$$ot

  • warren raymond

    As long as they have a wife or two and if they have children they are not considered homosexuals, no matter how much they sodomize each other.

  • Jack

    I would think that a nice, soft beard surrounding a muslim mouth would engender deep genital aching and a desire for male domination and immediate oral sodomy from every muslim male. That's probably the real reason they grown them and like them so much.

  • awais

    he says truly right