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Iran’s TV Claims Malala is a Really a Polish Christian Girl Named “Jane”

Posted By Daniel Greenfield On October 12, 2013 @ 12:25 pm In The Point | 10 Comments

Obviously she’s Polish

It’s actually worse than that.

Iran fell for a parody written in Dawn, Pakistan’s biggest English language paper.  How could the intrepid journalists of Iran’s PressTV have fallen for such a hoax?

You be the judge. And yes, that photo is part of the Dawn article.

However, the officer kept refusing to talk to us but finally relented on the condition that we refer to him as ‘Master X’.

Master X met one of our reporters at an abandoned girls’ school in lower Swat. To hide his face, the officer wore a Spiderman mask.

Talking to the reporter he said: “This had to come out one day. And I just couldn’t let myself continue to keep such a dangerous secret hidden. I am a true patriot.”

He then added: ‘My father once told me, ‘Peter, with great power comes great responsibility’.’

His revelations led us to our next shocking discovery (with evidence):

• Malala’s shooting was staged by intelligence agencies. The officer told the reporter that the whole shooting incident was a stunt planned by Pakistani and US agencies to pave the way for the Pakistani army’s invasion of North Waziristan: “It was all a drama,” he explained. “It was staged so the Pakistan army would have an excuse to invade North Waziristan.”

When asked why he was using the word ‘invasion’ when North Waziristan was a part of Pakistan, the officer replied: “North Waziristan is an autonomous Islamic Emirates. It has been like that for centuries. But our history books distort the facts and teach our children that it is part of Pakistan. The area has unimaginable amounts of oil, gold, copper, silver, bronze, coal, diamonds, gas and fossilised dinosaur remains underneath its rugged grounds. That’s what the Americans are after.”

Our reporter then asked whether he had any evidence to prove his claim.

The officer pulled out a few photographs and showed it to the reporter. The photographs showed a few bones. “Dinosaur bones,” he explained.

How could Iran’s top journalists have known? How?

Showing us the report, he said he extracted Malala’s DNA when as a child she visited his clinic (with her parents) complaining of an earache.

“After she was supposedly shot last year, I remembered I had a bottle where I had kept some of her earwax,” the doctor explained. “Collecting earwax of my patients is a hobby of mine,” he added.

He went on to claim that according to the DNA, Malala is a Caucasian, most probably from Poland.

Iranian journalism. Now worse than Pakistani journalism.


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