Iraqi Soccer Victory Leads to Mass Murder

But in Iraq most things lead to mass murder, including elections, bake sales and trips to the mosque. At least this was a completely accidental case of mass murder.

Iraq’s soccer team sparked widespread jubilation across the country on January 15 when Ahmad Khalil’s last-gasp goal gave them victory over Bahrain in the semifinals of the Gulf Cup.

In a proud soccer country that has long been starved of success, it’s no surprise that many Iraqis poured onto the streets of cities across the country in spontaneous celebration.

These joyous scenes were marred, however, because many indulged in the practice of firing guns into the air to express their elation.

Tragically, it appears that several people were accidentally killed and dozens injured as a result of being hit by stray bullets falling from the sky.

“We have received many dead and wounded people since the end of the match, some of them are women and children,” said a source at a hospital in Basra, who refused to reveal his name.

Now, authorities are worried that if Iraq triumphs against the U.A.E. in the Gulf Cup final on January 18, it will precipitate further deaths or injuries.

Women and children. Right. Because no celebration is complete without a sizable death toll. You know that a country is going to be a failed state for life if the authorities are worried that winning a soccer game will lead to mass murder.

Meanwhile Islamists are attacking soccer players with IEDs.

Two footballers from the Bashir sports team were killed and four others wounded when an improvised explosive device (IED) blew up near their bus, the Iraqi police in Kirkuk province said

According to al-Jaf, the attack is a part of a “series of terrorist attacks” armed groups launch against athletes from time to time.

I blame the American occupation of Iraq. If only we had withdrawn, scenes like these would not be taking place.

  • steve b


  • SuicidePrevention

    If we hadn't invaded Iraq in 2003 Saddam would still be in power, and we wouldn't have wasted
    countless lives and over a trillion dollars. Oh yeah, and Saddam, however
    terrible, was an enemy of Iran.

    • Mary Sue

      Yeah, the only problem there, was Saddam had Weapons of Mass Destruction. If you'll recall, he was throwing SCUDs at Israel during Gulf War 1.0. He shuffled them all off to Syria. If he hadn't gone for the WMD, he'd still be in power today.

  • poetcomic1

    What exciting authentic 'warm-blooded' people. Lets bring some more of them to America so we can be more 'real' like them.

  • Arlie

    No gun free zones there. They must have plenty of bullets too since they can just go out and fire them into the air… target practice or hunting involved. Is it Americas fault that everyone in the Middle East is now walking around armed to the teeth or have they always had all these guns even when Saddam ruled?

    I have not appreciation of soccer but I really appreciate how guns should responsibly be used and this isn't it.

  • Edward Cline

    Daniel's point here is to underscore the innate and pathetic barbarism of Islamic culture, wherever it may be found, not to endorse guns or gun bans. He could just as well have pointed out the stupendous but farcical death toll in Mecca when tens of thousands of Muslim pilgrims congregate there to throw stones and touch the Ka'aba and lose their minds in a grand gestalt of faith and stifling community. Some of them never go home again. The Meccan guards collect thousands of unclaimed sandals every Haj.

  • Mary Sue

    Wow, not only has Iraq learned from European soccer hoodlums, they've one-upped them!