Israel Put Chip in Muslim Brotherhood Leader to Make him Extremist, says Pal

Well that explains it.

I was worried that the Muslim Brotherhood was a nasty bunch of sociopaths, but apparently that was all due to a chip being put in a stunt double’s head. As soon as Dubai’s top surgeons get the chip out, the Muslim Brotherhood’s “spiritual leader” Yusuf Al-Qaradawi will stop praising Hitler.

I don’t know why Israel needed to both replace Qaradawi with a stunt double and put a chip in his head. It seems like overkill to me.

Hassan Youssef: Sheik Al-Qaradhawi is very moderate, and is not an extremist. That is why I cannot believe my ears.

Interviewer: He shocked you. When you say that the Sheik Al-Qaradhawi you know is dead, and you even suspect that Israel has planted a chip in his brain – which is a metaphoric way of saying that it has taken control over his mind…

Hassan Youssef: It’s not a metaphor. Let me give you an example. King Faisal’s nephew, who assassinated him… King Faisal was a great monarch, who stood by Egypt in the 1973 war, and was one of the principal reasons for Israel’s defeat. He said [to the West]: “We are used to desert life. We have no problem living in tents, drinking goat milk, and eating dates. We don’t want anything from you. Don’t want anything from you. Don’t take our oil. Goodbye.”

How can someone kill his own uncle? He met a Jewish woman abroad and fell in love with her. She took him to Israel, where they operated on him and planted a chip in his brain, and they remote-controlled him, until he killed his uncle.

Interviewer: I’m afraid many people have got chips in their brains recently…

A 1973 microchip was dumber than your present day toaster.  It was 1 mhz. But maybe the Saudi king didn’t have much going on upstairs and didn’t need a Pentium chip in his brain.

Hassan Youssef: That was not Dr. Al-Qaradhawi. What we just heard could not have been said by the Sheik Al-Qaradhawi I knew. The voice was superimposed over the video of Dr. Al-Qaradhawi. Even his features have changed, compared to what I saw when I prayed with him in Doha. He’s changed. These are not the features of Dr. Al-Qaradhawi…

So Israel put a chip in Qaradawi’s brain, replaced him with a double and then superimposed his voice. Apparently Israel is not only a James Bond villain, but it does everything by committee.

Hassan Youssef: To this day, I respect, honor, and admire the Sheik Al-Qaradhawi I used to know, and I kiss his hands and his feet.

Interviewer: But when you see the Al-Qaradhawi of recent days – you say he is dead.

Hassan Youssef: I wash my hands of him. I don’t know that man. Al-Qaradhawi is dead. The voice was superimposed.

It’s good to wash your hands after kissing someone else’s feet.

Interviewer: So what happened to him?

Hassan Youssef: It’s a double. Or a chip. There can be no other explanation. But I advise his sons, who I know very well, to have him declared legally incompetent, if this is due to a disease.

What are the standards for declaring someone incompetent in a culture where Youssef is considered competent?

Interviewer: So you say that if this is due to disease, they should have him declared incompetent.

Hassan Youssef: Yes, they should prevent him from coning out and saying such things.

So it’s a disease/chip/body double/superimposed voice. But Israel is behind it.

Yusuf al-Qaradawi

The Bad Jews put a chip in my head/But I’ll give it my best for the Caliphate

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Chalk up another “grievance” for the ever-expanding list.

  • Veracious_one

    apparently intelligent microchips are Un-Islamic…

  • Necrophagi

    Pretty damned funny… “The Bad Jews put a chip in my head/But I’ll give it my best for the Caliphate.”

  • defcon 4

    “Israel’s defeat” in the Yom Kippur War? That’s an interesting historical analysis.
    Naturally it was the perfidy of a beautiful Jewish woman who brought islam’s manly man down. Sob, I think I’m going to cry.

  • BS77

    was that a corn chip or a potato chip?

    • Sylvia Sib Armer

      A chip from off his shoulder.

  • NefariousJew

    This article is correct, except we do it with potato chips, not computer chips.

  • John J. Mercieca

    who let these guys out of the mental hospital so early?

    • Raymond_in_DC

      There were no mental hospitals in 7th century Arabia. A few desert warlords simply declared a few charismatic crazies as “companions” to a self-declared prophet that the great Maimonides referred to in one of his writings as “ha’meshugah” – the crazy one. (As a noted physician, Maimonides knew something about mental disorders.) They established a “new normal” that still holds today, where conspiratorial rantings are deemed legitimate discourse.

  • AbeL

    Let’s not forget that consanguineous marriages and eating sheeps’ brains (which may have a version of mad cow disease) are both extremely common in this part of the world!

    • Guy Fromage

      It’s called scrapie, if I am not mistaken.

  • Biff Henderson

    What I find sad if that what passes for intellect discourse in the Middle East is pretty much on par with Western media when it comes to to the topic of Islam’s benevolence.

  • staffsgt7

    Well, that is sort of the weirdest way of a backward admittance that he is an extremist. I wonder why so many follow him? But I wondered that about their perverted prophet too who was nothing but a murdering thug, a thief, liar, sexual pervert, etc. And why would Israel put in a chip to make the puke worse than before? That is self-defeating. If they put in a chip, they would have him stopping his thuggish perversions instead of what he currently does.

    I wonder why he doesn’t admit his perverted prophet must have had a chip in his brain too since he was worse than Qaradawi!

    • Softly Bob

      The Israelis do indeed have a time machine. They went back to the Seventh Century and put a chip in Mo’s head.

      • Guy Fromage

        Hey. If muslims can change history, and make Adam and Eve, Abraham, Isaac, and Jesus all carpet crouching stone worshipers, then why can’t Jews recalibrate ‘ol Mo, eh?

    • LoneVoice1

      He was also a guy who instantaneously learned how to read and write by an “angel” (the fallen kind).
      He used that skill to write down incoherent ramblings that later became the Koran.
      He murdered and stole before he became a prophet and he learned from this “angel” that kind of behavior was A-OK with Allah. He just needed to do his murdering and stealing in the name of Allah

  • the groove

    Egypt won the 73 war??? If it was not for the Dis-United Nations the IDF would have stopped only when they reached Cairo!!!

    • defcon 4

      Actually it was the USSR. The USSR stated plainly that if Israel didn’t stop its military advances (on Damascus in the N. and Cairo in the S.) it would directly intervene w/massive military force. The USSR mobilized its forces and was fueling/prepping its massive air transports (the largest in the world at the time), to which the US responded by bringing its forces to a state of readiness not seen since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

  • defcon 4

    I wonder if the journalist believed this claptrap? Or if his responses were sarcastic?

    • Daniel Greenfield

      He seemed to be trying to get him to sound less crazy by saying the chip is a metaphor… but no dice

  • herb benty

    This is in the same file with the “trained sharks” that killed the tourists at the Red Sea resort, and who could forget the pigeon “spy”. Islam definitely missed the Protestant “Enlightenment” and is even regressing.

    • defcon 4

      “trained sharks”, how pitiful.

      • herb benty

        Ya, I shook my head at that too, but this “chip in the head” is also over the top. Islam is insane, these are their, “leaders that talk like that!!

  • Bill James

    Muslims quite logically regard Jews as infinitely more intelligent than they are, and thus are capable of planting chips in brains.

    Dec. 2011 U. S. Patent Office Report, patents held, Turkey, Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia (combined population 350 million) hold 1,100 patents; Israel (population 8 million) holds 22,009 patents.

    Nobel Prizes in SCIENCE awarded to Israelis (population 8 million) since her “creation” in 1947: five.

    Nobel Prizes in SCIENCE awarded to ALL Muslim nations combined (population 1.5 billion): two — since 1898!

  • Hoss471

    This is a very funny read, written by a nutbar