Kerry Promises “Unbelievably Small” Attack on Syria

U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry speaks during news conference in Amman

Come on. Let the man have his “unbelievably small” war. Look at that face. How can you say no to it?

Sure, there’s two ways to read “unbelievably small”. Either it’s so small that you’ll have trouble believing how small it is. Like Kerry’s brain. Or it’s “unbelievably small” because it’s actually big and Kerry is lying to you.

Secretary of State John Kerry said Monday that any military action undertaken in Syria would be “unbelievably small.”

“We will be able to hold [Syrian President] Bashar al-Assad accountable without engaging in troops on the ground or any other prolonged kind of effort in a very limited, very targeted, short-term effort that degrades his capacity to deliver chemical weapons without assuming responsibility for Syria’s civil war,” Kerry said during an appearance with British Foreign Secretary William Hague, according to The Guardian. “That is exactly what we are talking about doing – unbelievably small, limited kind of effort.”

As I recall, Obama promised an unbelievably small effort in Libya that would be over in “days, not weeks”. It proved to be really unbelievable because it took months.

Super war hero John Kerry who singlehandedly defeated Cambodia doesn’t seem to understand that once hostilities begin, you no longer have absolute control the duration of the conflict. Especially if you aren’t determined to finish it.

Kerry is promising a war that he may or may not be able to deliver on. And either he doesn’t understand what any working member of the military does. Or he does and is deliberately lying.

  • maidros

    Can we just offer to send Kerry and Obama to fight this war? A few toy guns (they’ll just kill themselves with real guns) in their hands and off they go to fight and win. I promise – this will genuinely be an unbelievably small effort …..

    • Softly Bob

      Toy guns are politically incorrect and only encourage people to be violent. Give them both flowers (not roses, the thorns are too sharp).

  • furby

    Every time they say “no boots on the ground” i know they are lying. (every time they open their mouth I know they are lying)

    They already have troops in Jordan “training” to so called rebels, for months now.

  • CSA

    so if it will be so small….then let that stupid france handle it !!!!
    we can stay out of it !!!!!

  • Flicker

    If it’s truly unbelievably small, how does he ever expect us to believe it?
    Car salesman: The price is unbelievably low.
    Mortgage broker: The payments will be unbelievably low.
    Miracle Cooker salesman: It cooks in an unbelievably short time.
    Juicer saleman: And it take unbelievably little space on the counter top.
    Fabio: And this margarine is unbelievably good.

    Does anyone ever believe this pitch?

  • Flicker

    And why didn’t Kerry just use the line that worked so well last time: “It will be days, not weeks”?
    And the emporer’s new clothes are unbelievably beautiful.

  • DogmaelJones1

    Whether Kerry is lying or is unbelievably stupid, it hardly matters. He is incompetent and a disgrace to the nation, bested only in that realm by Obama himself. And Hillary Clinton. And James Clapper. And….

  • ziggy zoggy

    An incredibly small attack? I’m sure Kerry says the same thing to his wife.

  • herb benty

    So, Putin gives Obama the coordinates of a few old deserted buildings, that Obama determindly has targeted with half a dozen Tomahawks. Lots of dust later, a string of bodies will attempt to lay still while the world nods solemnly and Obama will have deftly deflected a growing embarrassment. Will Russia and America sail away? Something tells me not this time.

  • CowboyUp

    It sounds like it would make a good Monty Python skit. I’m sure John Cleese could do a better job explaining an “unbelievably small attack.”

  • Deerknocker

    Kerry threatens unbelievably small military action against Syria’s alleged use of chemical weapons. If that doesn’t deter Syria from doing what it may not be doing, Kerry is ready, willing, and able to escalate to a “itsy bitsy teenie weenie” military action, although Obama has threatened “double secret probation” for Assad.