Meet Israel’s Cutest Attack Animal


dassie_rock-hyrax

After the White Phosphorus wiped out the entire West Bank and Israeli Spy Eagles captured all of the secrets of Egypt and Turkey, the Zionist Entity unleashed its latest ruthless weapons.

The Rock Hyrax.

Endangered Mammal Deadly Blow to Palestinian farmers

Palestinian farmers have alleged that Israeli colonists have released a large numbers of rock hyrax behind the Israeli wall with the aim of harming Palestinian land.

The affected farmers claim it has taken them great efforts to learn the animal’s name and that they have been unable to handle the influx.

Great efforts. They googled it. It took a whole village. One man for each key on the keyboard.

If Israel were going to release some sort of animal to harass Muslims with, wouldn’t it have picked something more lethal, like a whole lot of cobras or a herd of angry rhinos or honey badgers?

Release the Rock Hyrax! doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Hassan Zaid, a Palestinian farmer, said that the animal locally named “Al Wabar Al Sakhri” eats both green and dried grass and trees leaving the farmers with serious losses.

“The animal does not leave anything thing behind and our lands have been destroyed.”

Zaid said that the animal lives between rocks and has taken to using holes in the Palestinian side of the Israeli wall as shelter.

That last part may be true; rock hyraxes like to live in small holes or cracks of walls and cliffs. It even says so in Proverbs 30:26: “The rock-badgers are but a feeble folk, yet make they their houses in the crags.”

So apparently the Rock Hyrax was a plot by King Solomon against a bunch of invaders from a religion that wouldn’t exist for thousands of years.

The Rock Hyrax, unlike the Palestinian Muslim, is indigenous to Israel. Maybe that’s why the “farmers” had so much trouble recognizing him.

Explanation #1. An indigenous animal is eating crops

Explanation #2. The Jews have unleashed a ravenous pestilence upon us

Explanation 2 helps explain why the Muslim world is so screwed up.

  • glpage

    Wait until the Israelis teach the wee beasts to use Uzis.

    • motherofbeaver

      I can’t wait for that day!

      • Daniel Greenfield

        Your user name is perfect for this post

  • Douglas J. Bender

    Rock Hyraxes — The long-delayed 11th Plague.

    • Gee

      Actually about the 25th Plague. We have those trained sharks, vultures, bee eaters, Poison-Resistant Super-Rats, attack boars,
      Tree-Eating Sheep, lions, cows, pigeons, jellyfish, badgers, snakes and mosquitoes.

      • Douglas J. Bender

        I believe I have the copyright. Or dibs. Whichever allows me to make my claim.

  • defcon 4

    I’m surprised the NY or L.A. Slimes hasn’t picked up this story, to illustrate the perfidy of Israel and Zionists.

  • WackoTurds

    Take a page from Skinner and his bat training and attach cute little incendiary vests on them and let ‘em go.

  • tanstaafl

    Nipping at the heels of the jihad……..

  • Elizabeth capecod

    If God has his way, they would be the reincarnation of dead jihadists.

  • defcon 4

    “Zaid said that the animal lives between rocks and has taken to using
    holes in the Palestinian side of the Israeli wall as shelter.” This “wall” wouldn’t be a reference to the security walls in Israel would it? Because if the walls are providing shelter for the evil hyraxes why then naturally they have to be taken down!

  • DogmaelJones1

    Rock Hyraxes are kitted out with GPS collars and guided by
    an Israeli counter-jihad satellite to Palestinian farms where they perform
    their economic sabotage, putting their boot camp crop-eating training to work.
    They can speak Hebrew, English and Arabic, and are also trained in PARTS
    (Physical Apprehension and Restraint Techniques) should a Palestinian farmer
    decide to take a hoe to them. No provoking Palestinian farmer is known to
    survive the lethal kick-boxing and chops of a Rock Hyrax. These versatile
    creatures are also schooled in how to disarm IED’s and the best Palestinian-planted
    land mines. Of course, if you told any of this to a Palestinian, he’d believe it. Or want to believe it. Or believe it because someone in Hamas or Jordan or the Muslim Brotherhood told him to believe it.

  • jakespoon

    The west bank looks ripe for an invasion of killer bees. Send a few hives to Gaza,too.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Rock Hyrax: Women want to be with him, men want to be him.

  • tickletik

    Personally Im glad they believe this