Muslim Claims Israeli Soldiers Got Him Drunk at Gunpoint


Lone_Soldier_Project_Wine_Tasting_2013_Invite

(This latest fictional Israeli atrocity is brought to you by Night Train. When the train pulls into the station with 17.5% alcohol, you’ll blame the IDF for everything.)

 A Palestinian Authority news agency has bested itself for Best Fiction of the Year Award by blaming the IDF for forcing a local Muslim to drink wine at gunpoint after he supposedly refused to supply information on who was throwing rocks at Israeli motorists.

This one was so far-fetched that even foreign media and Israel’s leftist newspapers and radio channels ignored it.

The alleged incident occurred in a village called Beit Ummar, located on Highway 60 between Jerusalem and Kiryat Arba-Hebron. The highway is the only direct link between Jerusalem and the southern Hebron Hills. The village is infested with Hamas activists, and one of the favorite pastimes of the locals is to hurl firebombs and rocks at Israeli cars, almost every day.

According to the Ma’an news agency report, “Israeli intelligence officers forced a Palestinian man from Beit Ummar to drink wine at gunpoint on Tuesday evening.”

The next chapter of this saga is even more chilling. The young man passed out for an hour and then the soldiers woke up him and threw him out of the guard tower where he has been taken into custody.

And if anyone doubts that it is true, Ma’an added that an Arab eyewitness confirmed that Muhammad “appeared under the influence and smelling of alcohol.”

It took the IDF more than eight hours to draw up a response to the incident for the Jewish Press, and a military spokeswoman explained that the IDF wanted to make sure that all details were checked and that the necessary authorities approved the answer, which follows:

“After reviewing the incident, all indications show that the described event did not occur. Yesterday, a Palestinian who was apparently inebriated approached an army post near Beit Ummar. Using minimal, non-aggressive measures, IDF forces moved him away from the spot.”

I think we’re going to see a rash of “The Zionist Infidels made me get drunk” excuses coming in very soon. Followed by, the Israeli bomb-sniffing dogs ate my homework.

  • herb benty

    Perfect example of Muslims are never at fault syndrome, eh. God is angry at the wicked every day…and all LIARS.

    • Gee

      I wonder when the American Thug-in-Chief starts using that as an excuse, because he too is never at fault

  • truebearing

    Hey, that stuff happens! I once got abducted by space aliens — who were protesting alienophobia — and whisked off to a planet filled with Catherine Zeta Jones, Sophie Marceau, and Megan Fox clones, where I was mercilessly auctioned off to the highest bidder. It was awful.

  • geronimo909

    I smell a great SNL skit with John Lovitz. YEAH, THEY MADE ME DRINK THE ALCOHOL…YEAH, THAT’S THE TICKET!!

  • onecornpone

    If only Mohamed Atta had thought of this excuse, before he and his gang of throat slitting barbarians were justifying their forays into the topless bars as infidel ‘research’.

    • HiPlainsDrifter

      Spoken by the queen of the silver dollar…crack ‘ho to drunks..

  • objectivefactsmatter

    They should have given him a ham sandwich too.

    • truebearing

      And pickled pigs feet.

  • UCSPanther

    Go home PA News Agency.

    You are drunk…

  • OfficialPro

    A trained monkey should be able to see through the muslim guy’s tale. Gunpoint? Alcohol? Riiiiight. Wouldn’t it have been better for him to get shot and not drink the alcohol, and then get like, 2 virgins in heaven for refusing alcohol and dying to shooting, or something? Like, a mini-martyrdom? That’s why the guy’s tale makes no sense and is fit for maybe the 1002nd Arabian Nights tale and little else.

    • OfficialPro

      (the guy that claimed that he was forced to drink, that is)