Nowhere to Cut: Fed Gov Spent $1.5 Mil to Study Why Lesbians are Fat

I have an idea for a study. I propose a ten-year study that will explore why NIH grantmakers are functionally retarded. This study may involve experimental trepanning. It will almost certainly require between 2 and 4 trillion dollars.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”

Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston, Mass., has received two grants administered by NIH’s Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD) to study the relationship between sexual orientation and obesity.

“Obesity is one of the most critical public health issues affecting the U.S. today,” the description of the grant reads. “Racial and socioeconomic disparities in the determinants, distribution, and consequences of obesity are receiving increasing attention.”

“[H]owever, one area that is only beginning to be recognized is the striking interplay of gender and sexual orientation in obesity disparities,” it states. “It is now well-established that women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with  it continues.

“In stark contrast, among men, heterosexual males have nearly double the risk of obesity compared to gay males.”

Minority sexual orientation? Is that what we’re calling it now? How about another study that will look into the public health impact of why anything associated with the Kennedy clan seems to get gobs and gobs of money for no reason. It may well be a public health crisis.

But at least there’s nowhere to cut. No place else that we could squeeze the money out of. It’s not only lesbians who are fat. It’s the Federal government. Too bad we can’t get a grand to study that.

  • kasandra

    I'll do it for half ($750,000). It's because they're eating too much.

    • Spikey1

      A person is what they eat….

    • http://www.adinakutnicki.com AdinaK

      Wasting taxpayer funds is what an administration does – leftists and RINOS's alike – when deconstruction is the goal. Moreover, "investing" in radical studies gives them that much more "value for the (worthless) dollar" – http://adinakutnicki.com/2012/08/07/barack-hussei

      A two-fer! Perhaps withholding taxes is not far enough….

      Adina Kutnicki, Israel http://adinakutnicki.com/about/

  • OTDAW

    Is it possible that fat women, unable to get male attention, turn to other women for emotional support and sexual pleasure? Oh, wait, that can't be it, considering the mounds of evidence proving that all homosexuals are born that way.

    • Mary Sue

      I'd pin it on "emotional eating", that is, eating as a comfort.

      What I want to know is why this study doesn't appear to be comparing straight females' rate of obesity alongside it! (probably because it's actually got NOTHING to do with sexual orientation!)

    • Lisa

      Yes you’re right. In the olden days when it was seen it was as a sin and socially unacceptable to be homosexual, fat women just waited until they could get married. Now that it’s “cool” it is more prevalent. We have Hollywood and the vulgar media to thank for this. One of my daughters witnessed a lot of lesbians in high school, she graduated in ’09. I graduated high school in ’79 and it was unheard of to see or know a lesbian. Homosexual males were unheard of too. Looking back, I can see one guy who was probably a sodo–mite and after graduation he murdered his elderly neighbors and was eventually executed.
      A second reason for fat lesbians is our third world population from Mexico, Guatamala, etc. There are a lot more Hispanic lesbians and they tend to be fat and manly.

    • Debra

      Sorry meant to vote your comment UP! Totally agree with you!

  • tagalog

    If we have a $1.5 million study approved, then "sequester" it, won't we just have saved our government $1.5 million?

    Maybe that's the technique: make some bogus proposal, get it approved, then cancel it due to cost saving concerns. That'll get us out of debt pretty quick!

  • Mary Sue

    At least the lesbians can kind of have a "It's GLANDULAR!" excuse based on the alleged hormonal imbalance (related to but not identical to "I was born that way") to explain their fatness…

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "At least the lesbians can kind of have a "It's GLANDULAR!" excuse based on the alleged hormonal imbalance (related to but not identical to "I was born that way") to explain their fatness…"

      Since obesity is unrelated to eating habits and we know homosexuals are "born that way," it must be genetic and we must get to the bottom of this question.

  • pagegl

    Didn't folks used to say that people ate too much because they were unhappy. My apologies for the obscure pun.

  • Judenlieber

    I'm overweight, in part, because my wife is a terrific cook. Most gay men don't have wives. Most gay women do.

    • Spikey1

      So gay men don't know how to cook pastries?
      Next you'll be telling us that; gay men don't know how to dress really spiffy…

    • Mary Sue

      I'm reminded of that line from the movie Ted:
      "What are we having for dinner?"
      "Turkey burgers."
      Ted: "Oh. Are we having homosexuals over for dinner?"

  • jeanjean4

    Will Blooberg prohibid lesbian sex or Michelle tell lesbians to get up from the coutch? It's so unhealthy to be a lesbian, one has to save them, hasn't one?

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "Will Blooberg prohibid lesbian sex or Michelle tell lesbians to get up from the coutch? It's so unhealthy to be a lesbian, one has to save them, hasn't one?"

      You forgot the victim factor. Society is obligated to save them and adapt everything else around their needs.

  • jeanjean4

    "This is going to bancrupt our country." Blumberg.

  • John King

    Let’s face it: A $1.5 Million government study proves that you can make damn good money from a $1.5 million government study.

  • David

    They crave meat but just don’t know it

  • harvey

    Lesbians are sooo gay….

  • tagalog

    Rosy O'Donnell's photo is an exemplar of the ineffectiveness of applying lipstick to a pig.

    • Spikey1

      In all of the muslim world there isn't a burka that is big enough or thick enough to hide the ugly that is Rosie O'Donnell.

  • Edward Cline

    I wonder if the researchers will have the cheek to ask Humana Abedin about her mistress's eating habits. She could shed a lot of light on Hillary Clinton's marvelous weight gain. Or ask Hillary herself.

  • Stan

    My 1st question: why did they have to use Rosie's pic? Rosie is coyote Ugly.
    2nd. She is the biggest loser.
    3rd. Maybe just maybe lesbians like fat. Leave them alone. Who cares.

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "3rd. Maybe just maybe lesbians like fat. Leave them alone. Who cares."

      The people who are forced to pay for the study might have a reason to care about the funding.

  • objectivefactsmatter

    "The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance.”"

    Because "gay" is also cultural.

    Keep the money. You're welcome.

  • Susan

    Maybe lesbians are heavy because they want to identify with strong, aggressive males, rejecting the female stereotype. Maybe gay men are light because they want to identify with dainty, passive ladies, rejecting the male stereotype. They see themselves as defiant and special and flaunt themselves and overcompensate for their shame.

  • moveforchangebkculturejam

    The study was on obesity in high school students– The title of the study is Eating disorder symptoms and obesity at the intersections of gender, ethnicity, and sexual orientation in US high school students. It looks at a variety of factors in obesity including ethnicity, sexual orientation, use of diet pills and purging. It wasn't designed around lesbian high-school students, but they were one of the groups that was studied. The foundation that put the money together is  NICHD, which studies childhood disease and development.  You can look up the abstract for the study on pubmed, a listing of all peer-reviewed research in medicine worldwide. With one in three high school students overweight or obese (and with medical costs for treating obesity rising), this seems like a worthwhile use of money. 

  • cindy ross

    What a waste of money. If they can spare money for crap like this then maybe they could put some back into Social Security where they more than likely stole it from. If the lesbians are complaining about being fat, maybe they should try putting down their forks once in awhile.

  • Cotta

    I have empirically proven that fat lesbians are fat because they eat too much. Can I have $1.5 million from the NIH? Heck, I'll even accept a mere $1 million.

  • over

    No tienen algo más interesante para gastar el dinero?

    Dietas Online