Obama Inc Renames “Founding Fathers” to “Founding Founders”


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An unspecified time ago a bunch of Founding Founders of unknown sexual orientations and sexual identities founded a country on a non-exclusive basis in order to promote free birth control, open borders and cowboy poetry.

We are engaged now in a great civil war for transgender bathrooms, gay marines and abortions for all to test whether a nation so conceived can endure all its abortions.

The White House has today put up a link to a new government website that collates and offers key documents from the revolution and the founding era. But it appears that the administration couldn’t bring itself to say, “Founding Fathers”:

The graceful gender free replacement of choice for the factually sexist Founding Fathers was Founding Founders which like a guy named Lee Lee is hilariously redundant.

If a flock of Founding Founders founded a nation conceived in liberty how many MPH would they turn at the sight of their nation turning into Orwell’s Oceania run by the faculty of University of Wisconsin–Madison.

Update: In recognition of their linguistic stupidity, Founding Founders has reverted back to Founding Fathers.

  • ziggy zoggy

    yeah. “Man-made disasters” and “Overseas contingency operations” didn’t last very long either. The sooner we can wipe this guy and flush him the better.

  • OfficialPro

    paging the redundancy department of redundancy…

  • truebearing

    If the Founding Fathers saw what the Foundering Founderer is doing to this nation, they sure as hell wouldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt. They’d give him the benefit of a trial.

  • Toni_Pereira

    Orwell must be turning on his grave…

    • Mike

      Nope, grinning and nodding. “I told you so, but you thought I was nuts”. He saw this coming back in the 40s.

  • UCSPanther

    Why are the founders of the US of A referred to as the “Founding Fathers”?

    The answer is simple: They were all men.

    Political correctness needs to be knocked in the head with a hammer and buried once and for all…

    • OfficialPro

      Political Correctness is the art of making something sound incredibly stupid just so it won’t sound racist/sexist/bigoted/homophobic etc.

      • Mike

        I need a drink, I think I need to make make myself a Personhatten.

    • faithlilyj316

      YOU are so on the nose! I love your wording! Keep being true. Just lovely.

  • ILIA TOLI

    Also note the resemblance to crescent and star in the top right corner.

  • Ghostwriter

    “Founding Founders?” That’s not only redundant but incredibly stupid. You’ll be rolling your eyes in disbelief at just how moronic this whole thing is. Does anyone but me think this is just completely silly?

  • DogmaelJones1

    Once the Founding Fathers were lost, and now they are found.

  • Michael Copeland

    Don’t forget the Pilgrim Mullahs.

  • truebearing

    I guess my comment got deleted for mentioning “hell.” This is why I don’t like Disqus. How ironic, considering that that is the reality on earth today for many people….and the number continually increases as the Left holds sway and enables Islam.. Gratuitous profanity is one thing… gratuitous censorship is another. “Hell” is not profanity, it is a destination according to Christian theology.
    The Founding Fathers would view the Foundering Founderers the same way we do….deserving of impeachment.

  • Spikey1

    Is the info heavily redacted?
    I don’t see why the Obama would let radical right wing thinking like this out, and be published online for all to see:

    George Washington’s address to the second session of the First U.S. Congress:

    “Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are the American people’s liberty, teeth and keystone under independence. The church, the plow, the prairie wagon and citizens’ firearms are indelibly related. From the hour the pilgrims landed to the present day, events, occurrences and tendencies prove that, to ensure peace, security and happiness, the rifle and pistol are equally indispensable. Every corner of this land knows firearms, and more than 99 and 99/100 percent of them by their silence indicate that they are in safe and sane hands. The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere and everywhere restrains evil influence. They deserve a place of honor with all that’s good. When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”

    • SandyLester

      Oh, he is not worried, his supporters probably can’t read.

  • poetcomic1

    How about the foundering flounders? The floundering founderers? The founding founders – oh wait that IS the one they cam up with.

  • BarryBarry

    Stupid morons are as stupid morons do.