Obama Inc. Seeking Someone to Teach Al Qaeda in Gitmo to Paint Watercolors


Bob-Ross-595x400

Obama complained in his national non-defense speech about the cost of Gitmo and urged Congress to allow him to set more terrorists free or transfer them to civilian prisons in the United States. Maybe Gitmo would cost less if it wasn’t run like a resort hotel.

Guantanamo Bay is looking for seminar instructors to teach terrorist detainees, among other things, how to paint with watercolors, and use Microsoft Word and Powerpoint.

The terrorist detention facility has issued a solicitation for “Detainee Library and Seminar Services,” which was updated on May 28.

The solicitation calls for a new contractor to provide “intellectual stimulation” to the captured terrorists, through seminars that cover everything from Arabic calligraphy to Adobe Photoshop.

Because apparently there aren’t enough bad Jihadist photoshops out there already and Obama Inc. is trying to provide Inspire Magazine with better graphic designers.

The “Art seminar” reads as follows:

“The contractor shall develop, implement and teach an Art seminar. At a minimum, the Art seminar shall include water color painting, charcoal sketching, Arabic calligraphy, acrylic painting and pastel painting. Additional topics may be added with the [Contracting Officer Representative] COR written approval.”

To devout Muslims, representational painting would be Haram. The Taliban at one point even banned photography. But I’m sure the Jihadists will be happy to be taught calligraphy so they can spend time inscribing the Koran’s most murderous verses on rice paper while waiting for Obama to set them free.

And doing it on the taxpayer’s dime.

Other seminars include:“Life Skills” seminar where detainees will be taught Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, Microsoft PowerPoint, Microsoft Publisher and Adobe Photoshop.  Prisoners will be taught according to basic, intermediate or advanced level.“Nutrition seminar,” will include “principles of nutrition, and scientific foundations of exercise and fitness.”The “Horticulture seminar” will teach Horticulture 1 and 2, basic landscape plants and landscape pruning practices.

If only Al Qaeda terrorists knew how to prune plants, surely they would stop being terrorists.

  • gee59

    I have a better way to stop them from being terrorists anymore – execute them

    • Chtistian

      Really? And actually do what they wish for? Send them to the paradise of virgins that Allah has promised to them? Why, now… that would be a way to completely respect Islam, and until our government can even define Islam, these warriors of Allah will be forced to take painting classes.

  • http://www.adinakutnicki.com AdinaK

    When a nation is ruled by radical revolutionaries one cannot expect terrorists to be treated as terrorists, but rather as pampered guests. And the fact that Gitmo is run like a resort attests to the grave dereliction of duty of Obama Inc.
    Anyone who believes that Obama Inc is more invested in America's welfare, as opposed to that of its enemies, has not been paying attention http://adinakutnicki.com/2013/06/02/holders-doj-a

    Bowing down to Sharia adherents is a top priority for Obama Inc, irrespective of the costs, financial or otherwise.

    Adina Kutnicki, Israel http://adinakutnicki.com/about/

  • Edward Cline

    I think I will apply for the job (I'm sure it pays plenty) so I can teach the POW's (not inmates, but prisoner of war) how to paint a variety of likenesses of Mohammad in watercolor. That would be with and without beards, turbans, Wal-Mart quality dishrags, Abercrombie & Fitch suits, British school ties, and other manly accouterments. I would also instruct them to provide as companions to Mohammad shapely, sultry-looking vixens in bikinis, their limbs wrapped around their "men," the temptresses saying in a cloud, "I'm asking to be raped." Or perhaps, instead, 6- and 9-year-old girls similarly attired, to keep with Koranic tradition, saying the same thing. Instead of a scimitar, the "man" would be wielding a pencil-laser-pointer, or a meat cleaver, or an iphone ready to detonate something far away. Of course, I wouldn't leave out how to paint animals. I could teach the POW's the most effective way to portray the halal way of butchering them, by letting them bleed to death.

  • 4_Constitution

    They should be water-BOARDED instead!

    • κατεργάζομαι

      Good one! Or, dipped in vats of bubbling hot OIL paint.

  • κατεργάζομαι

    I became a professional artist at age 16 when I illustrated a Marine Science Symposiums' brochure, as well as a founding member of a national portrait society (taught advanced portraiture at 17), a watercolorist, oil painter, acrylic, intaglio, and many other media/disciplines.

    I volunteer if I can select their following paint:

    Lead Red – Contains lead
    Molybdate Orange – Contains lead and chromates
    Chrome Orange – Contains lead and chromates
    Mercadmium Orange – Contains cadmium, mercury and sulfides
    Barium Yellow – Contains barium and chromates
    Chrome Yellow – Contains lead and chromates
    Zinc Yellow Contains chromates
    Naples Yellow – Contains lead and antimony
    King's Yellow – Contains arsenic
    Strontium Yellow – Contains strontium and chromates
    Zinc Yellow – Contains chromate
    Chrome Green – Contains chromates
    Emerald Green – Contains arsenates
    Scheele's Green – Contains arsenite
    Cobalt Violet – Contains cobalt and arsenite
    Flake White – Contains lead
    Lithopone – Contains zinc sulfide
    Zinc Sulfide White – Contains zinc sulfide
    Witherite – Contains barium
    Antimony White – Contains antimony
    Antimony Black Contains antimony sulfide

    These Highly toxic pigments (avoid at all costs if you are not enema-combatants)

  • objectivefactsmatter

    Hasan and 0′Bama will have creative outlets to pass their time when the treason trials are complete. That’s where all enemy combatants belong. Natural born citizens deserve trials before being sent there and the rest don’t deserve anything.

    • Vivienne

      objectiverfactsmatter: I so look forward to the treason trials, been on my mind for some time. Might be as well for Israel to start treason processing against a number of terrorists and dissidents upsetting the peace in the Middle East. Syria may do as it wishes, Iran can be handled, more likely by Russia or China, since we have an idiot in the White House.

  • Scott Kirwin

    Oh and what’s that behind the bush? That’s an IED. We’ll just add a few more touches to blend it in so the infidel on patrol doesn’t spot it. Allahu Akbar!