Obama: Sequester Will Kill Your Dog, Then It Will Kill You and Then It Will Laugh


The Sequester is like the Swiss Army Knife of fear mongering. There isn’t anything it can’t do. If you hear a bump late at night, it’s probably the Sequester sneaking up on you. If you’re missing a sock after doing your laundry, the Sequester probably took it and is wearing it all over town. If your kids are sulking all day, it’s not the snow, it’s the Sequester. If your pants don’t fit anymore, blame the Sequester.

 

1. The Sequester will flood the country with illegal immigrants (more so than usual)

The Obama administration on Monday warned the nation to expect an increase in illegal immigration if the automatic budget cuts go into effect Friday — the latest caution from a White House determined to raise the heat on congressional Republicans.

And to prove that’s true, Obama Inc. began releasing illegal immigrants from custody.

 

2. The Sequester will make it impossible for you to know if it’s snowing on Tuesday

Budget cuts set to take effect on March 1 could seriously compromise the ability of the National Weather Service to provide timely, reliable weather forecasts government officials and industry leaders warn.

And just think when it snows, even though the weatherman said it wouldn’t, he and you can both blame the Sequester.

 

3. Guy who shipped thousands of assault rifles to Mexican cartels claims Sequester will make America less safe

“This sequestration thing has really got to be worked out. It’s going to have an impact on our law enforcement,” Holder told the state AGs during a meeting at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

From now on they’ll have to hold their big meetings at a Motel 6.

“One of the things that’s really going to get hit in the Justice Department budget is our grant-making ability. These cuts are not the ones where I’m given any flexibility.  These are cuts that are just kind of mandated by statute….using a meat cleaver,” he said.

Oh no… not the grant-making ability? How will we be able to sleep safely in our beds if Holder can’t make as many grants as he used to… with a meat cleaver.

 

4. The Sequester is hurting Obama’s “Asia Pivot”

“Our Asia-Pacific interlocutors… are concerned about the possibility of decreased U.S. engagement in the Asia-Pacific region and a reduction in foreign assistance for Asia,” said Joseph Yun, presently the acting assistant secretary of State for East Asian and Pacific Affairs.

The Sequester is causing concern about American foreign aid to Asia? Now we really have to call it off.

 

5. Sumatran tigers won’t be able to get ultrasounds.

Damai, a rare Sumatra tiger, is now one of the most closely-watched animals at the Smithsonian National Zoo. Trainers are hopeful she’s pregnant, but the only way to tell for sure is through an ultrasound.

So what does that have to do with the sequester? It turns out that getting Damai ready for her all-important ultrasound takes intensive daily training — and that is one thing now in jeopardy.

As Lincoln said, the sum of a great nation is its capacity to provide Sumatran tiger ultrasounds.

 

6. The New York Medical College in Valhalla will lose around $600,000 in NIH funding.

That’s a small part of the $12.4 million in active NIH grants to the college, but it’s still significant, Halperin said. The money at stake is sufficient to hire a single assistant professor, who in turn would hire lab technicians, graduate students and expensive equipment for his or her work, he said.

“You’re talking about highly compensated people, who spend money and hire other highly compensated people,” Halperin said.

And if you don’t highly compensate highly compensated people, who will perform the Sumatran tiger ultrasounds of tomorrow?

  • Yael

    Hilarious. Thank you, Daniel.

    • Me

      I concur!!

  • JacksonPearson

    Thanks to Barack Hussein Obama II…:
    Sharia in Libya: More Arrests after Detention of Foreign Christians

    More of the poisonous fruit of Obama's catastrophic foreign policy. He owns this and Egypt, too:

    More Arrests in Libya after Detention of Foreign Christians Morning Star News, February 23, 2013

    Egyptian accused of distributing Christian books allegedly tortured.

    Courthouse square in Benghazi, April 2011; since the fall of the Muammar Gaddafi regime, penalties for proselytism are unclear.

    CAIRO, Egypt (Morning Star News) – Arrests continue of Christians accused of proselytizing in Libya, with a total of seven now known to be in custody including one reported to have been tortured, sources said.

    Four expatriate Christians in the eastern coastal town of Benghazi were arrested on Feb. 10, accused of proselytizing. Libya’s Preventative Security Unit arrested the Egyptian, South African, Korean and dual Swedish-American Christians, who have yet to be officially charged.

    On Feb. 13, Preventative Security officers picked up two more Egyptian Christians, and another Egyptian Christian was arrested by Feb. 16, sources said. All the detainees were being held in Benghazi. It was unclear what led to their arrests.

    Preventative Security spokesman Hussein Bin Hmeid said in a statement to Reuters that the four Christians originally arrested were printing books calling for conversion to Christianity. He said the country is 100 percent Muslim and that proselytizing “affects our national security.”

    Only one of the four arrested on Feb. 10, Sherif Ramses of Egypt, has been publicly identified. When Ramses was arrested, he allegedly had 30,000 Bibles in storage, a figure that Libyan police inflated to 45,000 in published statements, sources said. Ramses ran a small printing service in Benghazi and a bookstore that sold both Christian and secular books.

    Sources close to the arrests told Morning Star News that Ramses has been tortured, saying he was severely bruised. Several other sources independently told Morning Star News that Preventative Security was able to get the names of other Christians in Libya from Ramses, possibly by accessing information on his cell phone. It was unclear, however, if any Christians subsequently detained had any significant links to Ramses’ work.

    Preventative Security is an internal police force formed during the Libyan Revolution by regional rebel leaders.

    Rumors were circulating throughout Libya about unknown others thought to be arrested.

    Another wave of arrests was said to have taken place on Sunday (Feb. 17) in Tripoli. Sources in Libya reported to contacts in Egypt that no one has been able to contact these detainees, learn their location or even get an estimate of the number of those said to be arrested.

    “They say it was a large group,” a source in Cairo receiving updates from Libya said. “They were supposed to be released, but there has been no word.”

  • Johnconrad

    And Boehner is still likely to cave in.

  • welldoneson

    This administration is truly a cartoon administration. That's why they pal around with showbiz fronters; it's all on the screen, which doesn't leave much for when it get real. Not much at all.

  • Mary Sue

    Obama: he was for it before he was against it!

  • tagalog

    Well, now that the Obama administration has responded to the oncoming sequestration of funds by turning loose incarcerated illegal immigrants awaiting their due process hearings (we can be pretty sure that they're going to disappear, can't we?), and since we know that illegal immigration is most cheaply stopped at the point of entry, I guess we the people now have a decision to make regarding the cost of deporting illegal immigrants as opposed to denying them entry into our country, don't we? The message is that it's up to us since the government isn't going to do anything.

    On the government's tragic inability to afford an ultrasound for that Sumatran tiger that's believed to be pregnant, one sure-fire way to confirm pregnancy is to wait and see if she gives birth to a cub.

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