It goes without saying that I blame Israel for this amazing musical rendition of the National Anthem. If only it wasn’t for the occupation, Abbas could have used all those billions of dollars in foreign aid to train a marching band above the level of your six-year old’s tin can orchestra.
I would speculate that this was a deliberate insult, except that the Palestinian anthem following it sounds almost as bad.
To be fair though, the Palestinian anthem, composed by a Greek leftist who grew up being taught that Jews drink blood, always sounds bad. Even at its best the Palestinian anthem sounds like the intro to a Broadway musical. At its worst it sounds like a drunken polka group trying to play a medley of old Nazi marching songs without being able to find the notes. And this is almost’worst territory’.
Even Obama just stands there in stoic confusion wondering where the anthem is going and when it will end because there is just no way to know. No sooner do you think that it’s over then it launches into another sonorous passage with some hopeful tooting and aimless drumming. Abbas, who has no doubt endured the Polka Anthem Marathon of Death many times before, just patiently endures it while pledging to have whoever is on the trombone dragged through the streets behind a motorcycle after all this is over.
But for an imaginary country that can’t even put together a marching band, the Palestinian Authority has lots of rituals involving swords. And there are lots of men in uniforms in a place where fighting is generally done in civilian clothing behind human shields.
Since Israel is clearly to blame for the country of fake terrorists prioritizing teaching their kids suicide bombing skills instead of trombone skills, can I just suggest that if the Palestinian Authority is going to go for a Polka anthem, they could try something simpler.
And again. I blame Israel.