Republican Time Travel Blamed for Poor September Job Growth


Leading experts in no way affiliated with Media Matters have found out why job growth was so poor in September. It was that danged government shutdown in October.

“The U.S. economy added just 148,000 jobs in September, suggesting that employers held back on hiring before a 16-day partial government shutdown began Oct. 1.”


Employers didn’t want to hire new workers in September because they wanted a shot at all those super-productive government employees in October.

It’s the fault of the Republicans. But wait

“Economy added a disappointing 162,000 jobs in July

July was supposed to mark the starting point for an amped-up economy. Instead, data on Friday showed the recovery remains stuck in second gear.

The Labor Department said that the economy added 162,000 jobs in July— enough to nudge the unemployment rate down to 7.4 percent, but short of analysts’ expectations. The government also lowered its estimates of hiring during the previous two months and reported that workers earned less and put in fewer hours.

This is not the way it was supposed to be. Economists have long been predicting that the recovery would take off in the second half of the year, once businesses and households digested new tax increases and government spending cuts were largely out of the way.”

There can only be one possible answer.

Republican Time Travel.

It’s either that or Obama has done to the economy what he did to the military and the White House basement.

And since we know that Obama is the best at everything he does and the Republican are Allah-less villains, the only possible answer is that the revebrations of the government shutdown travelled back in time to retard job growth in July.

This may actually explain why the economy has been so poor under Obama. What some people may have mistaken for Obama’s incompetence was actually caused by radiating waves of poor economic performance traveling back through time.

  • DogmaelJones1

    In the meantime, many of the Eloi (re the still from The Time Machine used to illustrate this article) have been saved from being eaten by the Washington Morlocks because the bronze doors of suffered a “glitch” and couldn’t be opened to let them into the Morlocks’ sanctum.

  • truebearing

    This is great news! If Republicans can effect the past through time travel, they can go back to 2008 and alter the election results. But wait…for years we heard that Bush had, in effect, controlled the future, laying waste to Obama’s instant utopia. If I’m understanding this correctly, that means Republicans can control the past and the future! Ah ha! Finally the proof that the Republican leadership enjoys losing.

  • jakespoon

    Barack Obama-The No Fault President. His economic policies had nothing to do with it,it was somebody else.The shut down wasn’t his fault,it was somebody else.Broken website,not his fault,sombody else s. I wish we’d elected somebody else. They are much more effective

  • Jay

    Gee, my spouse, who works for a Fortune 50, had 3 weeks of layoffs this year. This was decided by corporate HQ at the start of the year.

    So tell me how good is this economy? The paychecks are not matching the rising stock market primed by the Fed with printed money.

    Watching current events is like watching a horror movie especially when the camera zooms in and you can see very little. You are screaming watch out. Yet the tards in Washington march on looting all the way.