So God Made a Democrat

God looked down on Washington D.C. and said “I need someone who will steal morning, noon and night. Who will steal from the rich to give to the poor and steal from the poor to give to the rich and fool them all and keep all the loot.”

So God made a Democrat.

God said, “I need college man to come to a farm and tell the farmer that he can’t feed his hogs with lettuce from his own farm or use the manure from his pigs to grow his lettuce. I need an inspector who will tell him how much he can sell his milk for and warn him that his son riding on the tractor constitutes child labor. I need someone to pay a farmer not to farm so that poor people can’t afford bread.”

So God made a Democrat.

“I want a union organizer who hires non-union picketers to keep workers from working, a politician who fights for the people by taking money from billionaires and a clergyman who worships whoever runs on the party line. I want a banker who fights for the poor and gives to the party and a party that pays the poor man eight times to vote for the banker’s man.”

So God made a Democrat.

“I need someone to retire at 55 with generous benefits from a government job. I need lawmakers who will pass laws without reading them. I need teachers who refuse to teach kids unless they’re paid twice as much as any worker in their city. I need people to sit on commissions and make rules about lines of work that they’ve never been in.”

So God made a Democrat

“I need a Catholic who’s for abortion. A Jew who’s for Palestine. A Mormon who’s against the Church. A Baptist who’s for evolution. A Methodist who doesn’t believe in god. And a Muslim who believes in destroying America.”

So God made a Democrat.

He said, “I need someone who starts all the wars and protests against all the wars. Who is first in line to sign up to fight against his country but comes out as a pacifist when it’s time to defend it. I want war heroes who throw their medals over fences and then gather them up again when it’s time to run for office. I want men who are for everything before they’re against it”

So God made a Democrat.

“I need a working class man who who has never worked a day in his life, but always talks about caring for those who do. I need a man who talks all the time about helping women, blacks, lesbians, Eskimos and Martians get ahead and then drops them like a dirty rag when he has what he wants. A man who gets up at 11:30 in the afternoon to help the less fortunate by passing laws that will make them even less fortunate. A man who takes nine tenths of what’s meant for the poor and lets them have the leftovers.”

So God made a Democrat.

“I need a man who believes in himself too much to take responsibility for anything he did. I need a man who is tolerantly intolerant, who is outraged all day by everything in the world except his own outrageous behavior. I need a man who is for freedom of speech except when he’s offended, for freedom of religion except when he disagrees with it and for the right to bear arms but only for those weapons that existed in 1791.”

So God made a Democrat.

God said, “I need a party of jackasses that will always break through the fence and spoil everything that the farmer grows. I need bad men to test good men and liars, cheats and thieves with clipboards to teach neighbors to stick together against them. I need a man with no more conscience than a rattlesnake leading a band of fools with less sense than sheep. And I need him to keep the farmers and ranchers, the workers and doers on their toes so they always remember that evil never rests and keeping it down can sometimes be the hardest work of all.”

So God made a Democrat.

  • Mary Sue

    We also would have accepted "So God Made Stupid Hippies".

    • BikerBear

      Obama was not a hippie,He was just a pot smoking crack head.I was a hippie.Now I'm just an old hippie.Obama would not have been welcome in my time.When we had hippies he was in Kenya .

      • Mary Sue

        True, he's divergent from the True Hippie, though I bet he thought he had Stupid Hippies as friends. What about the Hippies in Hawaii, are they a breed apart?

        • ron

          A lot of hippies are OK. Differentiate between Hippie and Commie.

    • kafir4life

      HEY!! I was made a "stupid hippie".
      I got better.

  • john in cheshire

    And all of those failings of man are captured in the Bible. If Christians and Jews and those who lean towards Christianity and Judaism were to actually read their Bible, they'd see that what is, has been and will be. The lesson, though, is that in the knowing one can discriminate between those who would do us good as opposed to those who would do us evil. Today, those who would do us evil have the upper hand.

  • http://shaw john spielman

    But God is still on His Throne, and the time is approaching when He will return and evil will be destroyed forever. Until then be warned that woe is to him that calls evil good and good evil. We who follow the Light (Jesus) are to shine with that light and be the example for those who do evil.

    The social experiments that Obama and his ilk are shoving down our throats have been done before with disatrous results (Greece, Zimbabwae come to mind). But his supporters continue to demand something for nothing. St Paul said ” if a man will not work then he should not eat”. At present we have too many takers and not enough givers and it can only get worse.

  • Marie

    AMERICA IS UNDER JUDGEMENT BY GOD, it is over, Sheeple. God is merciful, and said "RETURN", most didn't, so we continue to be under "JUDGMENT". It is the most severe punishment, and not reversible once handed down!

  • robert m. simon

    This is excellent….

  • Ar'nun

    That was beautiful. We should make this viral.

  • JacksonPearson

    LMAO….{{{Whew}}}, you hit another homer with that one Daniel.

    Life on mother earth is very short and temporary.

    In the end it's going to come down to a matter of choice of an open invitation to join God's eternal family. Ultimately, that’s all that really matters. Not being a democrat or republican, not good deeds, certainly not religion, not prayer, ritual, fear, fasting, pilgrimages, taxes, or prophets. No. This is a one on one thing between you and the Creator. He has a gift He wants to give you. You can’t earn it or pay Him for it. He alone earned the right to present it to you. He alone paid the price. Now He’s calling your name, knocking at the door to your heart. If you hear him knocking and open that door He will come to you and be with you. All you have to do is come to know Him and then accept his gift of eternal life. He’ll do the rest. Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes to the Father, but by me."

    There is no such thing as Jew, Christian, slave, freeman, male, female, brown, yellow, black or white person; for we are all one person in Christ Jesus.

  • WilliamJamesWard

    Unscramble the egg for a start and stop looking at the shell, nothing to it just a step by step
    process. Cut the political membrane choking off the air to your brain, think clearly, make a
    vow to live life for real, take stock of the present without cursing the dark engulfing us all
    and start a fire under yourself that says you are no longer willing to be a victim of political
    criminals. Seriously, demand justice and overthrow the thugs, bring back upright living as
    a daily event, remember you are and American and discount all of the rot leftists have to
    say about you, brainwashing the majority to believe they are a crowd of dependents looking
    for a handout and not a job. Enterprise is your biway, success your destination if you will
    kick the bums out, start with all professional politicians and build new jails for thier
    retirement, it's a start……………………………….William

  • Mary Sue

    To paraphrase Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets, "I think of a Man, then I take away reason and accountability."

    He meant to describe women but that describes like every liberal democrat ever.

  • obama guy

    In reality, I want to maintain racial, class, and sex hierarchies in society but hide my intentions by saying I only want "small government." So God made a conservative Republican. Ask the late Lee Atwater. And
    the black guy in the White House is the strongest symbol the hierachy is not holding, So we hate him.
    If you can't find Atwater, ask Thomas Jefferson and Donald Trump today.

    • Mary Sue

      Non Sequitur. It does not follow that "small government" either leads to maintaining all that stuff you list, nor that it is a "dog whistle" for it either. That's just an excuse to bash conservatives invented by the Identity Politics crowd, whom you really, REALLY should stop believing uncritically.

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "In reality, I want to maintain racial, class, and sex hierarchies in society but hide my intentions by saying I only want "small government." So God made a conservative Republican."

      OK. I believe you believe that. Now teach me the facts so that I can believe you too.

    • Ziggy Zoggy

      obama g@y;
      the only ones promoting racial, class, and sex hierarchies in society are the lefties and Dems with their Affirmative Action, wealth redistribution and other social engineering projects. God made lefties the same way he made pin worms and they serve the same purpose.

      The Mulatto in the White House is the top proponent of these subversive, racist, sexist and anti-American schemes but he hides his intentions under sneering elitism.

    • Hoppy

      The most intolerant people I have met have been Democrats. I don't think they are evil, it's just that they cannot conceive of a world in which they are not totally correct all of the time.

  • spartacus !!!!!!!

    "GOD" is perfection ! , satan makes democrats !!!!

  • soopermexican

    Daniel, Great Minds Think Alike! I had a similar themed, "God Made A LIberal"

    • thatsitivehadenough

      That is TOTALLY awesome! Loved it. You are brilliant!

    • Daniel Greenfield

      Yes they do indeed.

  • Jay

    ""I need a Catholic who's for abortion. A Jew who's for Palestine. A Mormon who's against the Church. A Baptist who's for evolution. A Methodist who doesn't believe in god. And a Muslim who believes in destroying America.""

    Aren't these supposed to be a list of contrary things? A catholic should not be for abortion and a Methodist should believe in God. If so then the last sentence should read instead "And a Muslim who believes in DEFENDING America" since a good Muslim already is one who should want to destroy America and replace it with a Sharia state.

    • Daniel Greenfield

      Ah but they're the exception. Because destroying America is in line with the left's beliefs.

  • PersonOfTheBook

    Just as we would be wrong to blame God for the existence of evil in this free-will zone, it's likewise wrong to put the responsibility on Him for the perversion of Enlightenment thought carried to its extreme in the embodiment of the leftist. The phenomenon is man's creation.