Socialism Causes Toilet Paper Shortage in Venezuela

socialist toilet paper

Chavez died and reportedly returned to his successor as a little bird. Sadly the Socialist leader did not, while in bird form, warn Maduro, that the country would shortly run out of toilet paper due to his insane Bolivarian revolution’s attempts to control every aspect of the economy.

Venezuela is now suffering from a government-induced toilet paper shortage. The situation has become politically dire enough that the government has promised to import 50 million rolls to calm shoppers.

For those familiar with the Bolivarian Republic’s less-than-sterling economic record of late, this won’t come as a surprise. The country, while relatively wealthy by developing-world standards, has been suffering through a chronic shortfall of everything from groceries to asthma inhalers, resulting in desperate lines of shoppers and a healthy black market trade in kitchen staples like flour.

While the government prefers to blame shadowy political enemies for the shortages — according to the AP, Commerce Secretary Alejandro Fleming said the toilet paper crisis was the result of “excessive demand” sparked by “a media campaign that has been generated to disrupt the country” — the explanation is much more straightforward.

In 2003, then President Hugo Chavez slammed currency controls into place to prevent money from fleeing the country while government seized land and corporate assets. Those rules have made it harder to buy imports. Meanwhile, price caps meant to make basic staples affordable to the poor are so low that, for many products, they don’t pay for the cost of production.

Nobody’s going to make toilet paper if they’ll lose money selling it.

“The revolution will bring the country the equivalent of 50 million rolls of toilet paper,” Fleming told a state news agency. It would be much easier to let the free market do it instead.

Yes, but this will be gloriously revolutionary toilet paper. And perhaps Chavez will even return in the form of a red roll of Bolivarian toilet paper.

  • Edward Cline

    In the late Soviet Union, which also suffered shortages of necessities like toilet paper, Russians resorted to using the glorious pages of Pravda and other government newspapers. I read one story that told about one Russian who went through the entire collected works of Lenin in five years, page by page.

    • Daniel Greenfield

      It's happening today in Cuba. Newspapers are used for TP due to the shortage

    • objectivefactsmatter

      "I read one story that told about one Russian who went through the entire collected works of Lenin in five years, page by page."

      They won't need toilet paper when they all convert to Islam. See? Islam and communism can sort of work together.

      • Spikey1

        A chicken in every pot and some toilet paper, for later, to wipe it off.

    • Toni_Pereira

      Don't worry. O'bama will send 5 million copies of Biden's book…

  • objectivefactsmatter

    "Nobody’s going to make toilet paper if they’ll lose money selling it."

    That's where the gulags come in to play. Communism can only seem to work if you've got those and enough class enemies. What makes them enemies of the state? They hate slave labor.

  • Roger

    I knew socialists were full of it.

    Perhaps if they ration toilet paper the cost will go down.
    They say that about healthcare in the US….

    • Spikey1

      "ration toilet paper": They just need to use both sides…

      • Roger

        What about panels to decide who deserves it?

  • truebearing

    Why didn't they just ban hot sauce, or beans?

    Why did they wait until they ran out to do something? There must have been some kind of warning that things were getting ugly.

  • Passer by

    If you put socialists in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there would be a shortage of sand.

  • Spikey1

    Math Test:
    There are about 30 million people in Venezuela. Their government is going to import 50 million rolls of toilet paper, with each roll of toilet paper containing 400 sheets. If the government allots each man woman and child a specific number of sheets of toilet paper, will the Venezuelan leaders run out of toilet paper first because they are full of shat?
    Show your work.

    • Roger

      Do I get a participation award?
      Talking about the communist leaders running out of anything is bound to bruise some self esteem…

      And will the union teacher help me draw on my desk while I think?

  • klimats

    Brain twister didn't they barely annihilate heated pepper, or beans?

    serwis klimatyzacji

    Why did they wait prior they ran out on route to take up something? There be obliged outfox been some kind of admonishing that things were getting ugly.

  • Brujo Blanco

    This toilet paper problem is reality. The Soviets had all kinds of shortages. In a true capitalist system free enterprise allows market to adjust. Governments are notoriously inefficient when government run a business such as the post office. Governmnets especially socialist and communist are inflexible. This inflexibility will become apparent when Obamacare

  • Revolutionary Socialist Media

    First of all Venezuela is not socialist. Many claimed to be socialist, from Gaddafi to Allende. But when you look at Venezuela you see not socialism but a mixture of Stalinist style planning with no democratic participation from workers and peasants. It is all about bureaucratic state planning, which cannot meet the demands of the people. This is because a bureaucratic planned economy cannot work. You need democratic decentralized planning and free workers participation in the process. But this was always opposed by the Chavez government, who looked to Cuba for its ”socialist” model. But we revolutionary socialists never called Cuba genuine socialist.

    Also we must not forget that Venezuela kept the ruling class alive. The capitalists of Venezuela were never fully expropriated. Hugo Chavez only nationalized parts of the economy and kept other parts in the hands of the old bourgeoisie, who hated him to the core.

    Hugo Chavez also mixed Venezulean nationalism into his ”21st centruy socialism”. He used Simon Bolivar ( a liberal ) as a propaganda icon and called his ideology bolivarianism. Although some elements of bolivarianism are Marxist socialist, many are not. Hugo Chavez was much closer to a style that looks like Arab-socialism of Nasser.

    Workers of Venezeula need to take power for themselves. They must abolish capitalism and end the red-tape state bureaucracy that Chavez created. Socialism is not about state rule, socialism is about workers rule through democratic elected soviets ( workers councils ).

    • Mesocyclones