Boy that sequester sure is a tragedy. Airline pilots are losing their jobs, children are going without meals and government buildings are melting down into piles of goo in the sun.
And the State Department is suffering the most. Just look at its piddling 51.6 billion 2013 budget. I ask you, ladies and gentlemen, what can an organization be expected to do with 51.6 billion dollars except starve in the streets?
And out of that 51.6 billion, a mere 469 Million dollars, a pittance of a pittance, is being dedicated to fight Global Warming. Wait, you ask, why is the State Department even involved in Global Warming at all? What are a bunch of diplomatic offices run by Obama’s biggest donors supposed to do about the imminent melting of the icecaps followed by the sequestering of the entire planet under the ocean?
Clearly you don’t understand diplomacy. You probably think that money like that should be used to provide security for dangerous locations and prevent another Benghazi? But that’s because you don’t know science either.
Four Americans being murdered is nothing compared to the trillions who will die when climate change takes effect and an angry wave of surfing polar bears descends on California. Sure, spending a few hundred thousand on Benghazi would have saved a few lives, but this way there’s more money left over for the difficult task of stopping Kevin Costner from making another Waterworld in real life.
$469.5 million for Global Climate Change to address the environmental, economic, and social ramifications of global climate change through programs that develop clean energy economies; combat deforestation; and help vulnerable countries build resilience to withstand extreme weather and rising sea levels.
See. Diplomats and aid workers will soon be going to coastal countries and yelling at them to toughen up to build up their resilience. John Kerry will give windsurfing demonstrations to Pacific Islanders to show them how to escape a Tsunami and address the economic ramifications of Manbearpig phenomena by stealing all the money and sticking it in a hole in the Rose Garden.
I think you’ll all agree that this is money well spent.