Supreme Court of Iceland Halts Road Project Over Environmental Impact on… Elves

icelandic_elves

Environmentalism is backed by science. Right?

This is what happens when you let crazy people, who claim to be speaking in the name of Science, but are just luddites, control where you can build.

Elf advocates have joined forces with environmentalists to urge the Icelandic Road and Coastal Commission and local authorities to abandon a highway project building a direct route from the Alftanes peninsula, where the president has a home, to the Reykjavik suburb of Gardabaer. They fear disturbing elf habitat and claim the area is particularly important because it contains an elf church.

The project has been halted until the Supreme Court of Iceland rules on a case brought by a group known as Friends of Lava, who cite both the environmental and the cultural impact — including the impact on elves — of the road project. The group has regularly brought hundreds of people out to block the bulldozers.

They occur so often that the road and coastal administration has come up with a stock media response for elf inquiries, which states that “issues have been settled by delaying the construction project at a certain point while the elves living there have supposedly moved on.”

So their answer is to treat environmentalists like the little children that they mentally are. Maybe we can start using this answer for environmentalists at home.

Yes, the polar bears were really sad because they heard that the ice was melting. But now a wizard waved his magic wand and it isn’t anymore so they’re happy.

Although many of the Friends of Lava are motivated primarily by environmental concerns, they see the elf issue as part of a wider concern for the history and culture of a very unique landscape.

Andri Snaer Magnason, a well-known environmentalist, said his major concern was that the road would cut the lava field in two, among other things, destroying nesting sites.

“Some feel that the elf thing is a bit annoying,” said Magnason, adding that personally he was not sure they existed. However, he added, “I got married in a church with a god just as invisible as the elves, so what might seem irrational is actually quite common” with Icelanders.

Environmentalists. They’re just hippies with doctorates.

But remember, we have to turn out lives upside down because the elf-lovers believe that the planet is heating up or cooling down or something because of cow flatulence.

It’s science. Just like the elves.

  • mackykam

    Perhaps Reykjavik can twin with San Francisco and declare themselves enchanted LALALand for elves and fairies. Then tourists can visit and see all the males prancing with their May Poles and females rounding about their mulberry bushes.

    • camp7

      too funny….LMAO

      • mackykam

        you’re welcome.

  • Hass

    Ah yes, Environmentalists, we have them in Oz and just as overzealous.

    Waste of oxygen, the lot of them.

    • BagLady

      What are you saying? F**k the Barrier Reef, Reinhardt rules OK?

      • Wolfthatknowsall

        As I understand it, the OZ environmentalists don’t want further repairs to the Yellow Brick Road. It appears that they want the road and the right-of-way to go back to nature. The Munchkins … who built and maintain the road … are up-in-arms, literally, over this proposal.

        “Friends of Lava”?

        • Daniel Greenfield

          Every lava flow needs a friend

      • Hass

        No mate, we have professional environmentalists who’ve predicted such nonsense that some of our rivers and dams will run dry as early as 2010 and it’ll never rain again in our catchment areas.

        Well guess what? Most of the dams around the country are full due to the massive floods we had from north to south. Ironically in 2010. And this was one of many preposterous predictions.

        So yes, the professional environmentals and rent a feral deserve every ridicule they get.

  • Veracious_one

    that “issues have been settled by delaying the construction project at a certain point while the elves living there have supposedly moved on.”
    were the elves served proper notice?

    • Daniel Greenfield

      In pixie dust

  • Chris Gait

    Did the company consider just hiring Orcs for the crews and building wherever and whenever they please? Perhaps a right wraith as a foreman to keep them in line?

    I’m really hoping this is some kind of dry Icelandic humor at work. Although I know Iceland is a nation of racists I didn’t realize they were certifiably insane.

    • Daniel Greenfield

      This is Iceland so it would be trolls. And not the kind we have around here.

  • UCSPanther

    Elves don’t exist. Fools.

    • BagLady

      You have a very narrow mind, my friend.

      • Wolfthatknowsall

        A narrow mind is a virtue when confronted with people who wish to change everything, no matter the consequences …

  • DogmaelJones1

    Clearly, the highway builders neglected to submit a properly vetted Elf Impact Study, and was somewhat neglectful in not more vigorously soliciting a consensus of opinion from the Elf Community about the road building project. Icelanders are fortunate, however, that their elves aren’t as violent as the Irish ones, who take after the IRA and blow up things. Muslim elves, or Jins, are just fun-happy pranksters.

  • BagLady

    Get real! There’s only one reason this highway is being built, and that’s because it leads to the President’s house. Does he care about the elves and faeries? No he does not. Let him take an helicopter to his residence. It’s what the President of my adopted country does when he comes here, rather than risk his life on the sub-standard roads populated with drivers who travel a different route than we normal folk..

    • Daniel Greenfield

      “They occur so often that the road and coastal administration has come up
      with a stock media response for elf inquiries, which states that
      “issues have been settled by delaying the construction project at a
      certain point while the elves living there have supposedly moved on.”

  • Wolfthatknowsall

    Personally, I think that it’s time for the elves to head for the Grey Havens and take to the ships. After, Galadriel, and Elrond are gone, and the elves … with their nasssty conservatism … are merely impeding progress. Why would they want to live in a land with no trees, anyway?