The Nation Blames Republicans Because It Can’t Pay its Postal Bill

Communist facepalm

Communist facepalm

The Nation magazine’s continued existence is proof that capitalism works. Not because it’s capitalist, but because it’s a pathetic failure, meandering along year after year, mostly unread, constantly begging for money, always unable to pay its bills, despite its wealthy owners.

But it’s the fault of the Republicans.

The Nation is facing a crippling hike in postal fees that’s going to cost $120,272 that we simply do not have.

When House Republicans aren’t shutting down the government, they’re trying to gut funding for essential programs and services. Legislators like Congressman Darrel Issa and other conservatives helped force the Post Office into requesting an emergency rate hike — one that will cost The Nation an additional $120,272 every year.

Postal rates go up because it costs money to deliver things, like dead tree print magazines full of crazy lies, that exist only for the social status of the granddaughter of the founders of MCA.

If only it wasn’t for the Republicans, I’m sure that the postal workers, like the Nation’s interns, would be happy to work for free. But wait… in a stunning counterrevolutionary move, the interns also wanted to be paid.

Interns at progressive magazine The Nation have found a new venue for salary negotiations: the magazine’s own letters to the editor section. The latest issue of The Nation, dated August 19-26, features a letter to the editor from 12 recent former interns, asking that future interns be better paid.

“Likewise, recruiting more interns from public universities and community colleges would enable organic intellectuals from the working class to redefine our nation’s public conversation.

The filthy capitalist swine. They should feel privileged to work at The Nation. They’re probably secret Republicans reading Ayn Rand inside their copies of Chris Hedges and Robert Reich.

Unfortunately, the organic minority intellects at community colleges and public universities are even less likely to work for free, being filthy capitalist swines as well, leaving The Nation in a quandary.

How will The Nation possibly pay down its $120,272 postal fees?

Richard Foos, a member of the Nation Institute’s Board of Trustees, was one of the Patriotic Millionaires calling for tax hikes. Margery Tabankin, a protege of Saul Alinsky, is a major Hollywood fundraiser and heads Barbara Streisand’s foundation.  Lorraine Sheinberg is the wife of Hollywood executive Sid Sheinberg.

Perhaps one of these nice people could help The Nation pay the nice postal workers? Or perhaps The Nation, taking inspiration from the great Socialist economics of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republicans, can develop a 5-year-plan that will take into account such things as postal rates when selling subscriptions to the magazine… the way that capitalist publications like Rolling Stone and The Daily Worker manage to do.

marx-facepalm

  • Inane Rambler

    How dare those evil Republicans force rate increases. Nope, rate increases are NOTHING like taxes, nope. Nope nope nope nope nope.

    • objectivefactsmatter

      But it’s not income redistribution. It’s a service tax. OMG!

  • objectivefactsmatter

    They love taxes and hate postage rate increases. What are these people? Oh yeah; communists.

  • A Z

    I have been hoping that liberal journalists reap the fruits of their labor and go bankrupt.

    If they keep their rag going, it is that much less money they can give to their candidates like the 2 year senatorial wonder.

  • Rocky Mountain

    WTH are “organic” intellectuals? There used to be just intellectuals – which doesn’t have to be a bad word – but I suppose now we have to worry about whether or not they are GMO or pest free.

    • A Z

      You are 100% correct. The word Intellectuals does not have to have a bad connotation, word but it is because of association with them.

      They think they are the smartest people in the room and they are not. Worse they get into other people’s business and are often wrong.

    • A Z

      Maybe we can dip them like ranchers dip sheep to get them pest free?

  • Rocky Mountain

    Why don’t they just up the cost of their advertising assuming they have any?

  • CowboyUp

    Ha ha, energy policies “The Nation” champions and insists on, makes it more expensive to deliver their magazine than they can afford, but it’s the fault of the Republicans, who opposed those foolish policies. It’s amusing when leftists trip over their own shoe laces or hang themselves on their own rope.

  • MacvTm18

    Spent two tours of duty fighting communism in Vietnam, little did I know that forty some years later I would be fighting communism in my own country !!!!!