Turkish Muslim Trades Daughter for a Cow

As Valentine’s Day approaches, it’s important to be reminded that the special day, like everything else in Western Civilization, was originally invented by Muslims. And there are few places in the world as romantic as Turkey, where this love story for the ages takes place.

You might be tempted to confuse this tale with Romeo and Juliet. And it is a lot like Romeo and Juliet, or it would be if Juliet’s father had traded her for a cow.

Our tale begins in the village of Korkut in the District of Gümüşhacıköy, which is in the Amasya Province of Turkey. Korkut has drinking water, a post office and a midwife, and apparently not much else.

Ali. O, like so many enterprising Korkunians, one afternoon during the Muslim commemoration of Ramadan, decided to make the deal of a lifetime with the stepson of his brother. The stepson would get his daughter and Ali would get a cow. The stepson delivered the cow and now it was time for the next part of the deal.

“I promised, I took the cow. Now you have to get married,” Ali O. told his daughter Guller O.

Like all romantic heroines, Guller did not want to be traded for a cow and fled to her aunt’s house in Ankara, where Ali began making threatening phone calls to her insisting that she go through with the wedding. The case came to court and Ali O. claims that he was slandered, that he did not sell his daughter for a cow, but that the cow just happened to be on his premises, and that he was doing his daughter a favor by marrying her off because she’s retarded.

The family court has ordered Ali O. to undergo mental health treatment and to stop calling his daughter. If he refuses then he will have to serve 3-10 days in jail. The fate of the cow remains unknown.

In entirely unrelated news, Turkey’s murder rate of women has increased 1400% and 41.9% of Turkish women experience violence and sexual abuse.

  • Mary Sue

    Whoa, women are murdered more often in Turkey now that it's going Full Islamist? Who'd a thunk it?

    • Debw

      Why am I not surprised by any of this?

  • Edward Cline

    Daniel: Has there been any more news about that American woman found murdered in Istanbul? I've seen nothing more about it.

    • Rifleman

      I missed that completely.

    • http://iranaware..com/ IranAware

      not to interrupt, but i browse the Turkish papers and as far as Ive seen its buried.. Lebanon Now was covering it, but then abruptly stopped, and nothing new in days..

  • BLJ

    I bet the cow is better looking.

    • Rifleman

      Good luck getting someone to take that bet. A prize bull now…

  • JacksonPearson

    Off Topic: Tolerance
    I am truly perplexed that so many of my friends are against another mosque being built in Toronto.
    I think it should be the goal of all Canadians to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs.

    Thus the mosque should be allowed in an effort to promote tolerance. That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from within the mosque.

    We could call one of the clubs, which would be gay, "The Turban Cowboy ," and the other a topless bar called "You Mecca Me Hot."

    Next door should be a butcher shop that specializes in pork, and adjacent to that an open-pit barbeque pork restaurant, called "Iraq o' Ribs."

    Across the street there could be a lingerie store called "Victoria Keeps Nothing Secret" with sexy mannequins in the window modeling the goods.

    Next door to the lingerie shop there would be room for an adult sex toy shop, "Koranal Knowledge",………….its name in flashing neon lights……….and on the other side a liquor store called "Morehammered."

    All of this would encourage Muslims to demonstrate the tolerance they demand of us, so their mosque issue would not be a problem for others.

    If you agree with promoting tolerance, and you think this is a good plan, please pass it on…

    • kafir4life

      Don't forget about the pulled pork barbeque, "Allah Snackbar".

      • JacksonPearson

        Consider adding the Pulled Pork BBQ, "Allah Snackbar" a done deal.

    • WilliamJamesWard

      Koranal Knowledge, will they be selling condoms made out of pig intestine, surely to be
      a winner with the Islamist zombie crowd…………………..William

      • JacksonPearson

        They'd sure need something the way the sickos line up for gang rapes.

    • Spider

      Yes and I will open a beer brewery and tasting room with an upstairs brothel called "Sharia gives h**d" The whole operation will be powerd by press-to-logs made from shredded Qu-rans.

      • JacksonPearson

        LMAO…I knew I'd get some good feed back on that one. Thanks….

    • Lauren

      If we have to be tolerant of the muslims and their religious beliefs, then muslims have to be tolerant of Christians, Jews, Hindus, etc. and their beliefs. The problem with muslims is that they demand respect but refuse to give respect. Tolerance goes both ways.

    • Paul Patterson

      I love this going to post this in the UK ha ha love it mate

    • Jackass

      You are crazy.

  • nebula retina

    You must be the cow than, since you know about it so much…

    • Lillith66

      ???????

  • kafir4life

    When Bill Clinton was returning from a trip to Arkansas durign his presidency, he exited Marine One with a hog under each arm. One of his aides asked him what was going on. He told the aide, "Son, these are Arkansas razorback hogs, the finest hogs you'll ever find. I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea". To which the aide responded, "Nice trade, sir".

  • sononthe_beach

    It's a good thing this man is hiding behind that black strip above his nose, otherwise his eye color would be a dead giveaway.

    • kafir4life

      He kinda looks like a turkish muslim.

      • WilliamJamesWard

        Vampire or zombie?…………….William

  • g_jochnowitz

    Trading a daughter for a cow is offensive, but eating one's children is worse. That happened in North Korea because of the chronic famine there. http://perryjgreenbaum.blogspot.com/2013/02/maos-

  • larry

    Lets all face it, even though our politicians can't. Muslims are human chit. Correction pig excrement.

  • Raf

    and we want them in EU?

  • erg

    The muslims invented Valentines Day?? WTH??? Where. do you get your information?? lol

  • Alx

    Erg, it is a joke if you read it all. They say they invented everything, that everything is 'the will of alan'. Truth be known, the list of things invented by iSlam can maybe be counted on one pig's trotter.

  • jackiestbird

    And to think Dear Leader is pushing this disgusting, barbaric, backwards religion on us. Islam disgusts me

  • DebbieOhio912

    I haven't laughed this hard in a long time! Thanks to Mr. Greenfield ,and all of the other creative comedians on this site.

  • Stupid srticle

    Written by a Jew. Take it from where it comes

  • not a jew for sure

    This article full of slant is written by some stupid Jew. There is no credibility as begs to be a FB status for people who are full of hate. How about it some reporter from Hezbollah wrote about Israel. Same thing. Stupid stupid Jews who look at this with the same love that Hitler looked at his victims

    • Mullah Killers

      Not a jew for sure! I agree. You are the scum of earth,the low-life degenerates.And so is ur Prophet Moham'mad' the bastard (may his ass burn in hell) who'll be dangling by his beard.rroasting in hell fires by his Satan Allah,for eternity.