US Gov to Spend Half a Mil Teaching Fish Survival Skills


Considering that the national debt is headed for 17 trillion, maybe the fish should be teaching survival skills to the United States government.

The Department of Interior will be spending $472,150 to teach survival skills to bonytails and sucker fish.

“The objective of the proposed project is to determine if training increases Bonytail and Razorback Sucker survival when exposed to predators,” the grant abstract states.

“This proposal builds upon the 2012 Bureau of Reclamation assistance agreement with the Arizona Game and Fish Department (AZGFD) tasked with investigating the potential for training Bonytail and Razorback Suckers to recognize and avoid predators,” says the abstract for the program.

I don’t want to put down the majestic sucker fish, which is no doubt a beautiful and highly intelligent creature, but if it hasn’t figured out how to recognize predators yet, it probably isn’t going to learn that vital skill from interaction with government bureaucrats.

And government bureaucrats are a much more dangerous form of predator than anything in the water. Perhaps we should be spending that money teaching taxpayers to recognize their natural enemies instead.


  • gee59

    So they going to send these fish to San Diego to undergo SEAL training?

  • Edward Cline

    Is this program also going to be called "Hook, Line, and Sinker"? Seriously, this story would be great SNL fodder. Hopefully, an SNL writer will see it and begin sketching out a skit tongue-in-cheek. Can you imagine it? A cast member in a fish costume being interviewed by Charlie Rose, or on "Face the Nation."

  • Lou7

    This is the stupidest program by the stupidest President. Cancel it and give the money to feed our military in Afghanistan HOT MEALS.

  • William

    this is an example of how ridiculous the obama administration and the liberal are

  • Mary Sue

    This article is fake! Aquaman doesn't exist! [/sarcasm] ;)