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Who’s Up for Another Celebrity Lecture About Gun Control?

Posted By Daniel Greenfield On January 19, 2013 @ 1:11 pm In The Point | 16 Comments


Scientists have long known that celebrities are some of our wisest people. Their liberation from the animal habits of working and listening to other people has elevated them to another plateau of being. An Olympus of the soul, which they think is a camera, that enables them to look down on our petty concerns and tell us important things about the need for Yoga lessons and gun control.

Today’s deep thoughts about gun control come from Matthew Modine. Who is Matthew Modine, you might ask. According to his bio, Matthew Modine was offered the Tom Cruise part in Top Gun, but turned it down because he “disagreed with its Cold War politics.”

Clearly he made the right choice, because now Tom Cruise is famous and Matthew Modine is the star “Jesus was a Commie” (2011) , “Santa the Fascist Years” (2008) and the director of “To Kill an American” (2008). Also he appeared on an episode of Law and Order.

All that eminently qualifies him to tell us why only backward racist savages would want the right to bear arms [2].

“I’ll give you my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.” That line was barked by the man who portrayed Moses in Cecil B. DeMille’s epic film, The Ten Commandments. Moses was taking his orders from a higher power and since it was about 2,500 years ago, guns hadn’t even been invented yet. If they had been, Charlton Heston, the actor playing Moses, may have personally added an 11th Commandment, “Thou shalt bear arms.”

Modine probably thinks this is witty. It reads more like the advanced stages of Dyslexia mingling with ADD and TCM.

Although, I’m sure no god would give a blessing to weapons designed for the single purpose of killing people.

Spoken like a man who has never read the Bible, the Koran or any book longer than three pages and not written by Deepak Chopra.

The Second Amendment, part of our Bill of Rights, protects the “right of the people to keep and bear arms.’ This may sound reasonable, but remember it was written in 1791. A time when land was being stolen from the indigenous Native Americans and Africans were forced into slavery to build this nation. It was a time when woman could not vote and there were no child labor laws.

And no gay marriage or reusable bags. And those heathen savages were transphobic as hell. George Washington had never even heard of Microfinance and Thomas Jefferson refused to eat yogurt.

When in doubt, liberals dig up their copy of A People’s History of the United States, never read, then they dig up the Cliffs Notes to it, then they drop that and read the Wikipedia entry for it. And then they begin explaining that the Constitution doesn’t matter because it was written by racist homophobes.

Time passed and slavery officially ended with the passage of the 13th Amendment. Woman would eventually win their right to vote with the 19th Amendment.

You see, it is because we, as a people, recognize the necessity to transform and improve that we are able to call ourselves a “civilized” nation. We know it is unfair to benefit from another persons suffering. Imagine if we had not passed these amendments and you will see and have a deeper understanding of how the rest of the world is now looking upon the United States and our anachronistic gun laws.

Or how Matthew Modine and every celebrity ever looks at America. But to follow the scrambled logic here, because we added amendments to protect rights that were already in the Constitution, we should abolish civil rights in the original Bill of Rights so that the Europeans will admire us.

Now that women have the right to vote, we should take away everyone’s right to bear arms. And then maybe their freedom of speech… the way the Europeans have.

As a nation we cannot be shackled to an archaic Second Amendment which is being shielded by a minority of Americans that demand the right to use weapons that are continually killing citizens across our country.

Indeed, we cannot. We must embrace a modern Second Amendment. One that will give us all the right to bear Lawn Darts. But those were banned to. Maybe an amendment that gives us all the right to point fingers at each other and say, “POW” but that seems to be outlawed too.

Maybe a truly modern Second Amendment will replace the right to bear arms, with the right to watch Matthew Modine movies, assuming any of them are ever made. We can put that in the amendment too.

The Second Amendment was written so far away from this moment in which we are living. Over the decades, our Constitution has been updated and made more civilized and fair by way of amendments. It’s time to let go of these weapons that cause such massive suffering to our population.

Here lies the empty head of the professional liberal. The present isn’t a year or an age, it’s a moment. A passing fleeting thing.

1791 is an eternity away. A period of time that is so vast that he can hardly conceive of it, not because of the chronological distance, but the cultural distance.

How far away is 1791? To Matthew Modine, its an infinite distance measured by every liberal social gimmick that he is wedded to. The modern liberal is not an American, he is a citizen of Liberalvania, a fanciful magical kingdom where money is infinite and everyone gets gay married and then breaks into showtunes. It’s not a real place, it’s a state of mind.

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URLs in this post:

[1] Image: http://frontpagemag.com/?attachment_id=173464

[2] would want the right to bear arms: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-modine/dead-cold-hands_1_b_2474237.html

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