Your first thought might be of all the kits, cats, sacks and wives on the road to St. Ives. But it also has the air of a surreal version of the Home Shopping Network. “You don’t just get 70 virgins. The virgins get 70 virgins. And then after 70 years, there are 70 more virgins.” Apparently the Islamic whorehouse is nearly infinite.
Following are excerpts from a lecture delivered by Saudi cleric Muhammad Ali Shanqiti, which was posted on the Internet on March 23, 2013.
Muhammad Ali Shanqiti: Every Muslim man gets at least two black-eyed virgins in Paradise. Each virgin comes with 70 servants girls. You are permitted [to have sex] with the virgins as well as the servant girls. For every woman from this world who enters Paradise, you get 70 black-eyed virgins.
There are four types of women in Paradise. First, there are the women of this world who enter Paradise. Each one comes with 70 black-eyed virgins. The second type of woman in Paradise is the black-eyed virgin. Each comes with 70 servant girls. These servant girls are the third type. Sorry, there are only three types of women in Paradise.
And they’re all there for only one reason… because Mohammed was the original feminist. Bringing “women” into paradise is some sort of human coinage to trade in for more virgins.
If you get married in this world, then [in Paradise], you get your wife from this world, along with 70 black-eyed virgins with whom you are allowed to have sex, and each of these 70 virgins comes with 70 servant girls.
So how many women do you get? That’s the minimum.
Now, let’s assume that you are married to four wives, each of whom comes with 70 black-eyed virgins, and each virgin comes with 70 servant girls… How many does it come to? Allah help you.
All this can be yours… if only you kill enough Muslims. Forget Sweden. Islam really knows how to treat murderers right.
Your reunion [with your wife] lasts for 70 earthly years. When the 70 years are about to come to an end, another black-eyed virgin calls to you from above: “Oh servant of Allah, don’t we get a piece of you?”
You turn to her, and you see that she is more beautiful than the woman you are with. You ask her: “Who are you?” and she says: “I’m your virgin in Paradise. Allah told you about me, saying: ‘There is more of them with Us’. I am one of the ‘more’.”
You leave that one and move on to the next. Allah help you…
You spend 70 years or so with her, and along comes the third, saying: “Oh servant of Allah, don’t we get a piece of you?” You look at her, and she is even more beautiful than the one you are with.
What happens to your wife after 70 years? Probably nothing good.
You sort of picture Allah in a long robe, muttering to himself, rushing around paradise and scheduling all the new virgins to the latest Jihadi who just got blown up in Syria.
“No, go to the other Mohammed. I promised him extra virgins. He blew himself up trying to place that IED. Now he gets 70 times 70 to the 70th power virgins.”
There is the impoverished spiritual poverty of Islam. A magical pimp in paradise who rewards the gang members who kill for him with magical prostitutes.
It’s a Crips and Bloods religion. It’s exactly the kind of cheap ugly religion that a warlord would come up with.