You May Already Be an ObamaCare Enrollee

That umbrella has already enrolled in ObamaCare

That umbrella has already enrolled in ObamaCare

Good news, you may already be an ObamaCare enrollee. The number of people who have actually bought an ObamaCare plan is slightly lower than the number of people who voted for the Communist Party candidate for president.

(The Communist Party endorsed Obama. But the Socialist Workers Party, Socialist Equality Party, Socialist Party USA, Green Party and Party of Socialism and Liberation all ran candidates. 3 out of 5 of them were even black. And they performed about as well as ObamaCare.)

But Obama has an answer. He’s just going to expand the narrow-minded definition of enrolled beyond its parochial confines.

When the Obama administration releases health law enrollment figures later this week, though, it will use a more expansive definition. It will count people who have purchased a plan as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid.

Why should “enrolled” be limited to someone who bought health insurance? Why not include people who tried to buy health insurance or people who might one day buy it?

I have a former scrapped aircraft carrier sitting in my eBay shopping cart. I haven’t found the 2 billion dollars to pay for it yet, but it still counts.

Have you ever visited It doesn’t even exist. That’s a trick question. But you’re still an enrollee.

Did you have a nightmare in which you were chased down a long hallway by the disembodied head of Kathleen Sebelius screaming about how hard it is to code a website?

You’re an enrollee?

Have you ever been online? You’re an enrollee. Yes, it’s that easy.

We have a living constitution under our liberal judges in which the meaning of “is” is constantly being expanded. Why should ObamaCare, a program that was built on lies from the very beginning, not have an equally elastic relationship with the truth?

If your like your health plan, you’re already an enrollee. (No you won’t get to keep it.)

Have you been in the United States at any point in the last 40 years? Can you name a state capital? Do you know what a state capital is? Are you operating heavy machinery under the influence of illegal narcotics?

Congratulations. You’re an ObamaCare enrollee.

ObamaCare. 6 billion served.

Now it’s time to cut down that number with some death panels..

  • Texas Patriot

    Obamacare is like Beetlejuice. Everyone is hoping it will just go away.

    • Patriot077

      Go on over to therightscoop dot com and watch a video of James O’keefe at the new navigators offices in Texas. Lyin’ liars looking to turn Texas blue. I swear they have put more effort into voter registration than health insurance.

  • Amused

    Well, that, finally makes sense.

    I have never actually gone to the (or whatever the actual name is) website. ( something like that.)

    AND, I never fully understood why the NSA recorded my IP address.

    Now, I understand.

    (We, ALL, do understand just how pitiful this becoming, right? RIGHT?)

  • Zagat Tragonach

    First comes Obamacare, then Obamacar. It will be an 80k USD electric vehicle called the Chevy Vote (every time you start the engine it registers a vote for the Democrats). Everyone without a car will be required to buy at least one of them to drive to the collective farm or glorious factory to work. But you can keep your old car if you have one! Unless you changed the oil in the last year, that is. Then it can’t be grandfathered in.

    • strayaway

      Bad example Luddite thinking will not win votes. The horse is out of the barn regardless of who had a hand in developing the technology. The 80K per unit includes all development costs per car sold up to last year. As more EVs are sold the development cost per car also declines. GM is also dropping costs $5,000 while improving Volt battery range by 50%. The top lessing car in Norway is now the Nissan Leaf. Two months ago it was the Tesla which can’t meet its worldwide demand. BMW is aiming at going Electric in a big way because EV’s can be made a lot faster than internal combustion engines. You sound like a horse owner still making fun of internal combustion engines. My advice: Go to a Chev dealer and test drive a Volt. No one will see you, it’s free, and you will learn enough that you won’t post such things.

      • Stefan Kranzdorf

        Electric cars are junk. There’s no use to go to a Chevy dealer and test drive a Volt. Unless you are yearning to be deceive.
        Your test drive will not include a drive on a hill or on a mountain road. The car will make it, but the range will decrease by 40%-50%.
        Turn on the air condition or the heating and the range will go down by another 20%-30%. Anyway, the battery must be cooled at over 90 F and heated at less then 40 F.

        The good part about electric cars is that when in vacation you will stop for an hour-long refilling stop every 100 miles or so.
        Take a coffee or an ice cream and you will always be fresh. Don’t hurry!

        An electric cars is good as second, commuting car for a city nerd who swims in money and doesn’t worry about how many filling cycles teh battery can support or what the residual value is when he gets bored or fed up with the costly fad.

        • strayaway

          Volt batteries have a range of 25-50 miles depending on terrain and temperature; officially 38 miles. But the Volt you criticize also has a 9.8 gallon gas tank so the total range of a Volt is over 380 miles. What’s the range of your present car?

          My son leases a Volt for $279/month. He commutes 28 miles round trip to work without ever using gas. His night time electrical rates of 4 cents/kwh allow him to make the daily commute for 50 cents. Think about that the next time you enjoying paying for gasoline. What joy do you find in paying for gas and enriching US enemies doing so?

          The battery never needs to be heated or chilled. On a lease, the battery life is of no concern. The batteries hold 5% less charge a year so after 10 years, a 38 mile rated battery would still be good for 19 miles and don’t forget, there is an almost unused motor. What, resale, does any 10 year old car have with a 140,000 miles on its motor? If my son kept his Volt for 10 years. it would have an almost unused motor in comparison. There are fewer parts to break on a Volt. It never needs transmission repairs either. As you are wrong about most everything you don’t know about Volts, you seem like a prime candidate to test drive a Volt so, at least, you will be less likely to spout rubbish.

          • Stefan Kranzdorf

            If a your son’s car is has a gallon tank, that’s makes it a rechargeable hybrid and that’s a whole different story.
            I never denied that electric cars may be adequate for some people needs, For many others, it’s isn’t.
            Actually, I took a test drive of Renault Fluo and I most avow that the sell was first class.
            I now congratulate myself that I didn’t fall into this trap,
            I would have meant financial catastrophe for me and my family.
            Anyway, enjoy!

          • strayaway

            But in your previous post you referred specifically to going to a Chevy dealer and testing a Volt. Now you are disavowing that part of your last post. I agree that EVs make good commuter cars but don’t have an advantage traveling long distances. The Volt does have a range of 380 miles largely because of its onboard gas motor. The much more expensive Tesla has a 300 mile all electric range although that is at 55mph. Its range is less at 75mph. Tesla, though, now has a 50% 20 minute charge and is working toward a 50% five minute charge. Enjoy your visits to the gas pump all the same.

      • Gislia Jackson

        Many used to think that spontaneous combustion was a myth. The amazing Tesla mobile proves them wrong. Since the car uses dc power to run, it should be named after edison, not Tesla. Yes, the same edison who toured the country electrocuting cats and even an elephant to demonstrate the superiority of direct current over alternating current. There is a video of one his test subjects catching fire from the voltage, much as the tesla mobile is prone to do.

        • strayaway

          What are you talking about? There were 187,500 car fires in the US in 2011. That’s because gasoline catches fore for the most part. How many of those 187,500 car fires were internal combustion engine cars vs. EVs? Sorry, but I think you are buying into oil company propaganda.

          • Gislia Jackson

            Gasoline catches fire when an accident occurs, and two cars bump into each other. A Tesla catches fire all on its own, nimrod. You are an idiot. It takes a collision to ignite a gasoline powered car. It takes a turn of the ignition switch to ignite a Tesla. God, you are stupid.

          • strayaway

            You failed to make the case of why it is better to be in a conventional car that’s on fire than an EV that’s on fire. According to Forbes, there are 250M vehicles on US roads and 187,500 caught fire in 2011. That works out to 1 fire per every 1,500 cars per year. There are 20,000 Teslas on the road. Get back to me when there are 14 Teslas that catch fire in one year. Until then, conventional cars are more likely to catch fire. Numbers should be your friend but they aren’t. You better stick with preconceptions.

          • Gislia Jackson

            What a bold attack. What caused the fires in the gasoline powered cars? Accidents? Back up your bold statements with statistics. You are an idiot. Gasoline powered cars explode via impact. Teslas catch fire on their own. Refute that, moron.

          • strayaway

            You need go no further than wikipedia to dispose your notions. Go to the article ” plug-in electric vehicle fire incidents” It uses the term “several” to describe the number of none accident EV fires and “four” as the number of accidental EV fires. “Several means two or three. So the number of EV fires is 6 or 7. You have enough fingers to follow along with that math. Let’s see, 7 total fires for all EVs worldwide vs. 187,500 fires for all US cars in 2011. There are still 26,800 times more fires from conventional cars than from EVs. Why is it that you keep looking sillier every time you touch your keyboard.

          • Gislia Jackson

            How many gasoline powered cars explode each year vs. how many are sold? I imagine the number of teslas sold is higher than twelve?

          • Gislia Jackson

            Read “Bleak House” if you need some info on spontaneous combustion. Aw, you are probably to busy to read great literature.

          • Gislia Jackson

            “Sorry, but I think you are buying into oil company propaganda.”

            The oil companies electrocuted those cats, not Edison? Please show proof that the oil companies were responsible for Edison’s misuse of direct current. Please do it soon, idiot.

      • Zagat Tragonach

        Okay, sorry you find my humor out of place in your little dream world where electric cars make sense because they are supposed to make sense. They don’t. They are not getting cheaper. That’s because there is no market demand for them. They also run primarily on coal, which is not really a very good, up to date fuel source for cars, so in this instance YOU are the luddite.

        • strayaway

          Only 40% of our national energy supply is derived from coal. Another 40% and growing is from natural gas. So why are you saying EV’s are “run primarily on coal”? In my book, thats an improvement over importing Saudi, Nigerian, or Venezuelan oil anyway. It keeps energy dollars and jobs in this country. And we don’t have to subsidize the price of coal by sending our kids to the middle east to suppress oil prices; a HUGE subsidy. The executives of BMW disagree with you. They are already cost effective in their EV production and because they can get a lot more performance out of EVs they are going full speed ahead with EV development. EVs are not only getting cheaper (leaf -$7,000, Volt -$5,000, Tesla to market a much cheaper model), battery technology is rapidly getting better and cheaper.

          • Zagat Tragonach

            Gosh, you really have all the answers! It’s just amazing that those electric cars aren’t taking off! Well, some go airborne when they explode, but not metaphorically.

          • strayaway

            I think it might be your imagination that is exploding with sound bites. You can count the number of EVs that have caught fire on your fingers but now they are exploding?

            A poll asked why Asian Americans voted 71% Democratic. It made no sense to me. After all, Asian Americans are hard working, family oriented, successful, prominent in science, have low crime, and stay off welfare. The reason given by the poll was that Asian Americans view Republicans as luddites who are oppose science and technology for religious or other reasons.

          • Zagat Tragonach

            And where did the term Republican come in the discussion? I’m a Libertarian. I like something called the market. Take the horse vs. car moment in history, for instance. I would be fine with cars…if the market demanded them, which it did. Nobody from the government decided that Henry Ford’s company deserved to succeed and that cars were somehow morally better than horses. The situation now is different. We have a government that is trying to influence demand by dumping money into bad businesses like Solyndra. This approach not only fails, but in failing makes competition harder for the actual innovators who might have the next ‘big idea’ in the works, but are in the shadows of artificially inflated companies.

            Since you’ve decided that anyone who disagrees with you must be a ‘luddite’ and religious, let me disappoint you again. I’m an atheist.

          • strayaway

            Did I say you were religious? No, I said that Republicans were missing out on some Asian American votes because Asian Americans are not comfortable with the religious and luddite qualities they see in too many Republicans. There were two reasons. The luddite one I applied to you but I mentioned both.

            I really agree with you that Obama had no business handing out money for Solyndra, EVs , etc.. However, it did develop a new technology, As I said before, the horse is out of the barn. Once upon a time, China and Korea rejected technology that had been developed in the west. They were left behind. I don’t want to make the same mistake. I don’t care if Obama or Chinese Communist scientists created something new and good. I see (mostly) Republicans who dis EVs as being more in the pre-Perry Japan category.

  • susan

    where I come from, we call looking at things “window shopping”, not BUYING!!